"Why you're back Moneypenny! And I am glad to see it!"
"Yes I imagine you are Comander Bond. But there is one thing that you would like even more."
"And what would that be my dear?"
"Why my front of course!"
"Indeed Miss Moneypenny, indeed."
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Umpires have been named for the World Series!
And they are all National League guys. Which is the only chance those Phillies have. Just sayn'
Hey Asante, GOT MELKY!!!!!!!!!
For all of you dudes who say the Yankees outfield sucks, I have just one thing to say: GOT MELKY!!!!Oh, also.....IT'S THE MELKY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Soup's On!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No soup for you!
Well there is soup for you. Pick out your favorite:
Tomato
Lentil
Split Pea
Mazta Ball (Chicken)
Italian Wedding Soup (Meatball)
These are my personal favorites. A lot of good ones didn't make the cut. Eat hearty!
Everybody hates the Met's owners!!!!!
Hey we finished our poll of who you would want to buy your football team and Osama Ben Laden got 16 more votes then the Coupons (Wilpons) who own the Mets. Hee. The Mets owners got exactly no votes. The results: Rush Limbaugh 18
Osama Ben Laden 16
George W Bush 11
Al Sharpton 3
Feddy Coupon 0
Next up is our soup poll.
It's all there in black and white.
"Well you are finally back Selina. You do know it is time for our session.""Oh I am sorry Trey. I was out. All night. I had another type of session."
"Really Selina. With that long haired musician Theo I suppose?'
"You suppose incorrectly Trey. I was out with one of his friends. A Mister York. Kirby York. We went dancing.....oh it was so much fun."
"Really Selina....I think all this socializing is most unseemly. For a woman in your condition."
'What condition might that be Trey....I am in fine fettle....here look at this photo of us dancing last night.....examine my condition....I was during my favorite dance.....the Twist....actually the Twist of the engorged nipples....Trey....Trey....you have to stop falling off your chair!"
"Hamana....hamana....hamanan.....uurrrppppphhhhh!!!!!"
AJ too much Cheese Wiz on on Philly Cheese Steak has rotted out your brain dude!
One of the smartest guys on the internets just put up one of the dumbest posts I have ever seen analyzing the potential World Series between the Phillies and the Yankees.Our good buddy AJ Lynch of Philly has posted his musings on his great blog "The Ringleader." Since he has such an obvious unfamiliarity with the Yankees we will have to set him straight. Here is our post with some corrections attached. (The corrections are the ones that make sense).
Here is how they match up:
Phils have the edge:
1B Howard over Txeriera (You are delusional dude. Texeira was the MVP in the American league and is a far better fielder than Howard. Howard only had 6 more homers and 19 more RBI's and is a fat lazy fuck besides. At worst this is even but I think the fielding that Tex brings makes it a win for the Yankees)
2b Utley over whoever plays 2nd for the Yanks (Robbie Cano plays second for the Yankees but he is not one of my favorite players and Utley is the best guy on your team so I give you that one)
LF Ibanez over Damon (you must be kidding me. This one is dead even. Johnny Damon is a proven winner who has produced in big spots in the playoffs. Ibanez had one lucky game. Even)
CF Victorino over Swisher (Swisher doesn't play center for the Yankees. That's a platoon of Melky and Gardner. I think the speed and defense we have in that platoon gives us an edge over your guy. I call this one for the Yankees. Got Melky? It's the Melky way!!!)
RF Werth over Matsui (is he in his fifties?)Yanks have the edge: (Wrong, Matsui is the DH and can't play the field because of his bad wheels. Swisher is in right so I will give you this one.)
3B Arod over FelizPush: (Dude are you stoned. A-Rod is a first ballot Hall of Famer who will have over 700 home runs when he retires. As much as I hate him he is producing finally in the clutch witness his performance against the Angels. The monkey is off his back. This is easily one for the Yankees. No contest.)
SS Rollins vs. Jeter (Again Jeter is a first ballot Hall of Famer in his prime who always makes the smart plays to win the game. Rollins is just another good hit poor field shortstop. Jeter all the way.)
CA Ruiz vs. Posada (No contest. Posada is an adequate fielder but his bat is so much better than Ruiz it is not funny. He is another Hall of Famer with 4 rings to Ruiz's 1 so you have to go with HIP HIP JORGE!!!!)
1B Howard over Txeriera (You are delusional dude. Texeira was the MVP in the American league and is a far better fielder than Howard. Howard only had 6 more homers and 19 more RBI's and is a fat lazy fuck besides. At worst this is even but I think the fielding that Tex brings makes it a win for the Yankees)
2b Utley over whoever plays 2nd for the Yanks (Robbie Cano plays second for the Yankees but he is not one of my favorite players and Utley is the best guy on your team so I give you that one)
LF Ibanez over Damon (you must be kidding me. This one is dead even. Johnny Damon is a proven winner who has produced in big spots in the playoffs. Ibanez had one lucky game. Even)
CF Victorino over Swisher (Swisher doesn't play center for the Yankees. That's a platoon of Melky and Gardner. I think the speed and defense we have in that platoon gives us an edge over your guy. I call this one for the Yankees. Got Melky? It's the Melky way!!!)
RF Werth over Matsui (is he in his fifties?)Yanks have the edge: (Wrong, Matsui is the DH and can't play the field because of his bad wheels. Swisher is in right so I will give you this one.)
3B Arod over FelizPush: (Dude are you stoned. A-Rod is a first ballot Hall of Famer who will have over 700 home runs when he retires. As much as I hate him he is producing finally in the clutch witness his performance against the Angels. The monkey is off his back. This is easily one for the Yankees. No contest.)
SS Rollins vs. Jeter (Again Jeter is a first ballot Hall of Famer in his prime who always makes the smart plays to win the game. Rollins is just another good hit poor field shortstop. Jeter all the way.)
CA Ruiz vs. Posada (No contest. Posada is an adequate fielder but his bat is so much better than Ruiz it is not funny. He is another Hall of Famer with 4 rings to Ruiz's 1 so you have to go with HIP HIP JORGE!!!!)
Other:
The Yankees have the edge in pitching but not enough to be significant so the Phils repeat as World Series Champions! (The Yankees edge in pitching is very significant especially with the best closer of all time in Mariano and lots of help from Hughes and Robertson. The only problem will be if the over manager continues with his infection of Larussism and makes too many moves. If he just lets his pitchers pitch it will be a cakewalk)
The Yankees have the edge in pitching but not enough to be significant so the Phils repeat as World Series Champions! (The Yankees edge in pitching is very significant especially with the best closer of all time in Mariano and lots of help from Hughes and Robertson. The only problem will be if the over manager continues with his infection of Larussism and makes too many moves. If he just lets his pitchers pitch it will be a cakewalk)
YANKEES IN SIX GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Yes Indeed Miss Monneypenny!
"So Miss Moneypenny, you always seem so tightly buttoned up. Behind your desk shuffling your papers."
"Well apperances can be decieving Comander Bond."
"Really Miss Moneypenny? However do you mean?"
"Well I may be behind a desk. But I am not wearing any pants."
"Yes indeed Miss Moneypenny!"
Frenchy Fuqua's Shoe Blog
Damn blood this shit sucks.
My Giants got hammered by the damn New Orleans Saints. You believe that shit. Who knew that Tom Fears finally learned how to coach. The Giants defense was just a big sucking sound sort like the one all that water made after they pumped it out of NOLA like it was cum in Rod Stewarts stomach or sumthing. They scored at will which usually happens when then there college ho's get hammered at Mardi Gra. Oh well you can't win every game. Maybe it will be good if they meet in the playoff's cause it is real hard to win two games against a quality opponent.
Now that poor Mexican Boy got intercepted about thirty times by the Bills when they played the Jets. Man they should have had Bennie be the quarterback then the Jets would have had a better chance. I mean the Bills are one of the worst teams in the leauge for crying out loud. The only ones who suck more are the Lions and the Raiders.
Oh yeah the Raiders beat the Eagles. Hee. I bet a bunch of puppies are gonna get strangled this week.
At least my Steelers beat on the Browns. I wonder what Jim Brown in gonna do to those suckers. Thank God the Steel Curtain is still active baby. That's all I got to say.
I'm looking forward to the Broncos tonight on Monday Night football. I ain't seen John Elway play in a while so it should be fun.
Hey watch the meter, Jeter!
So I am in the store on a Monday which is unusal because we have a girl who can handle the store herself in the morning. But she went on vacation so I have to cover.
Anyway we had a big client come in which is great because it is not as crazy on a Monday. Except it is. We are also shooting some dresses for the website. One of our other customers is posing. We like to use the real women who actually wear our clothes so when you look on the website you can get a better idea of what it looks like on a real persons body instead of a perfect hour glass model.
The only fly in the ointment is that she parked about five blocks away. And the meters are only for an hour. So I have my trusty egg timer to make sure I can run the five blocks to put money in the meter. The dude in the store in front of where she parked said he would keep an eye on it but I can't trust that. So I run out every hour to feed the meter.
The only upside is that he just put in soups in his snack shop. So everytime I fed the meter I bought a pint of soup. I love soup. So far I have had the lentil, tomato and split pea.
Maybe I will do a soup poll.
Carlos is spread all over.
Carlos Mencia is spread all over these days. Like a sandwich ya know.
It makes me laugh.
How long till we see some camel toe?
I am up here Paul.....hello
"I have really missed you Joan.""Really that is very nice of you to say Paul"
"Yes indeed. In fact late at night I often look at the company photo where are standing in front of everyone. You know the one that Peggy started all the gossip about."
"I am up here Paul....Hello!"
"Oh yes sorry. Say do you like Ernst Borgnine movies?"
Cut the crap!
"I don't have time for this."
"Cut the crap."
"Have them come to my office. Bring the Ann Margaret photos and the storyboards. Oh and three cartons of cigarettes and two bottle of scotch."
You guys know how old we are right?
There has been a lot of talk and speculation about Linda Ronstadt in the last few threads. You guys are really into her.
There is no clearer indication of how old all the dudes who hang out here really are.
Well except for the Julie Newmar, Barbara Eden, Angie Dickensen, Stella Stevens and Charo posts.
Face it dudes, we are old farts.
It's all there in black and white.
"I know Selina. But we need to get working. I am troubled by your relationship with that young man you were with yesterday. I don't think he is for you."
"Why Trey, why would you say that?"
"He just doesn't seem like a serious person."
"Well he is my little monkey. He is always singing but unlike you he never likes to put people down. He is always just monkeying around."
"None the less I don't think you should see him anymore."
"Well I am afraid you don't get to decide that Trey. I like him. In fact I like his roommates. I might date all of them. Now let me get changed."
"You look fine Selina, no need to change."
"Oh this. I just threw it on. I was sleeping. And you know I always sleep in the nude. With a pillow clasped between my legs. It helps me sleep. You know I have restless leg syndrome. They always want to spring open. Would you like to be my little pillow......Trey....Trey....you have to stop falling off your chair."
Pick of the week is here!
Hey check out the wife's Pick of the Week over at Never Say Diet. She picks the Molly which is a short camisole that the girls love to cover the girls. Now I hate when they cover the girls but sometimes you need to do that, like at church and stuff. What's great about a Molly is that unlike a regular cami you can quickly take it off and stuff it in your purse. Then you can let the girls come out to play!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Hey it's Playoff Time!
WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
THE YANKEES WIN!!!!
TTTTHHHHHEEEEE YYYYAAAANNNKKKEEEESSSSWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Hey how ya doing. It’s not John Sterling. It’s me A-Rod’s urine sample. Sorry I am late commenting on the game today. But I had to report to Major League Baseball this morning so they could check me out. AND I WAS CLEAN BABY!
No drugs, no steroids, no performance enhancing drugs. Ok there were a couple of Kate Hudson’s pubes in there and that was kinda embarrassing. But we passed baby, just like the gas that Jorge Posada passes when he eats pork. What a game!!!!!!
First off what’s up with that fucking AJ Burnett asshole? He puts Hip Hip Jorge on the bench so he can pitch to Mo-lina that douche. He is supposed to be such a great catcher, WTF he had a guy steal on his ass. It was a pitching duel and freaking Girardi brought every freaking pitcher on the roster into the freaking game. I mean I expected to see Herb Pennock or Waite Hoyt or fucking Whitey Ford or something. Of course there aren’t many whiteys left in the game only a whole lot of Pedro’s and Francisco’s and shit. Anyway the Angels squeezed out a run to to get the lead in the top of the eleventh and it was looking grim for the home team. The Angels put in their closers Tito Puente or whatever and my man A-Rod took him deep to tie the game up. Finally he did it under pressure with the money on the table. Then we went into the twelfth and the Angels throw away the game. WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Stay tuned for those loser Phillies tonight. They should win cause I think Torre has that Jap guy from Heroes as his starting pitcher.
WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
THE YANKEES WIN!!!!
TTTTHHHHHEEEEE YYYYAAAANNNKKKEEEESSSSWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
THE YANKEES WIN!!!!
TTTTHHHHHEEEEE YYYYAAAANNNKKKEEEESSSSWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Hey how ya doing. It’s not John Sterling. It’s me A-Rod’s urine sample. Sorry I am late commenting on the game today. But I had to report to Major League Baseball this morning so they could check me out. AND I WAS CLEAN BABY!
No drugs, no steroids, no performance enhancing drugs. Ok there were a couple of Kate Hudson’s pubes in there and that was kinda embarrassing. But we passed baby, just like the gas that Jorge Posada passes when he eats pork. What a game!!!!!!
First off what’s up with that fucking AJ Burnett asshole? He puts Hip Hip Jorge on the bench so he can pitch to Mo-lina that douche. He is supposed to be such a great catcher, WTF he had a guy steal on his ass. It was a pitching duel and freaking Girardi brought every freaking pitcher on the roster into the freaking game. I mean I expected to see Herb Pennock or Waite Hoyt or fucking Whitey Ford or something. Of course there aren’t many whiteys left in the game only a whole lot of Pedro’s and Francisco’s and shit. Anyway the Angels squeezed out a run to to get the lead in the top of the eleventh and it was looking grim for the home team. The Angels put in their closers Tito Puente or whatever and my man A-Rod took him deep to tie the game up. Finally he did it under pressure with the money on the table. Then we went into the twelfth and the Angels throw away the game. WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Stay tuned for those loser Phillies tonight. They should win cause I think Torre has that Jap guy from Heroes as his starting pitcher.
WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
THE YANKEES WIN!!!!
TTTTHHHHHEEEEE YYYYAAAANNNKKKEEEESSSSWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
Hey the Devil's team has won!
Forcas: Will you be interviewing any new announcers my dread Lord.
Lucifer: No I can't. I have to watch the game. My New Orleans Saints are playing those Nasty New York Giants.
Forcas: I didn't know that the Saints were your team milord. I thought you liked the Packers. That seems strange.
Lucifer: Why? After all I am a fallen angel and they are the fallen Saints.
Forcas: What do you mean? Fallen Saints?
Lucifer: Well they are the epitome of evil and have sold their souls to me. Especially Reggie Bush. That's where I have been all week. Banging his girlfriend.
Forcas: Who that woman with the big ass?
Lucifer: Yeah. She's having my baby. And that's a wonderful way of saying she loves me. Hee. I love that song.
Forcas: Congratulations Sire!
Lucifer: Yeah I am glad I sired another one. Hee, hee. Hey here is a copy of the ultrasound. That's what he looks like in her womb. Of course her womb is just as big as her ass so it's perfect. Much better than the skinny Farrow bitch.
Forcas: Very nice milord. He has your horns.
Lucifer: I know, cool right. That's why my Saints are gonna win. The big guy is asleep today since he stayed up so late watching the Yankees last night so he isn't paying attention. So chalk one up for the bad guys.
Forcas: Very cool sire.
Lucifer: Let's celebrate. Get Howard Cosell and Curly Lambeau and lets make them dance. It's party time. Hey is it getting cold in here? Hey is it snowing? Cool. Let's make snowballs!!!!
It's all there in black and white.
"Oh hello Trey. I am afraid I can't have a session today. I am going out on a date with my new boyfriend.""Really Selina? Why don't you introduce me."
"Of course. Trey say hello to my friend Theo. His is a musical prodigy. "
"Nice to meet you Theo."
"Yeah same here Doc."
"Where did you youngsters meet."
"Why right here at the hospital. Theo volunteers several days a week.....he teaches music....I love music."
"Well I don't know if that is quite enough to build a relationship."
"We have a lot in common. Theo plays the flute. I love to play the skin flute....Trey....Trey...why did you eyes roll back in your head?"
"Hey are you OK there Doc?"
Papa's got a brand new bag!!!!
Come here sister.....
Papa's in the swing
He ain't too hip...
about that new breed babe
He ain't no drag
Papa's got a brand new bag
Come here mama....
and dig this crazy scene
He's not too fancy....
but his line is pretty clean
He ain't no drag.
Papa's got a brand new bag
He's doing the Jerk....
He's doing the Fly
Don't play him cheap
'cause you know he ain't shy
He's doing the Monkey, the Mashed Potatoes,
Jump back Jack, See you later alligator.
Come here sister
Papa's in the swing
Papa's in the swing
He ain't too hip now
but I can dig that new breed babe;
He ain't no drag
He's got a brand new bag
Oh papa! He's doing the Jerk Papa
...he's doing the Jerk
He's doing the twist ...
just like this,
He's doing the Fly ev'ry day and ev'ry night
The thing's....like the Boomerang.
Hey....come on Hey!
Hey.....come on Hey!
Hey....he's pu tight...out of sight...
Come on. Hey! Hey!
Well Miss Moneypenny
"Hello Miss Money Penny, you seem very relaxed."
"Indeed I do Commander Bond."
"Normally I see you working at your desk."
"Well Commander, I really do my best work on top of my desk, so to speak."
"I see. But the real question is ....how good are you under the desk?"
"Ohhhhhhh James!"
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Big game tomorrow!
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"Hey I don't have time to worry about the new PA announcer."
"Look I told you I don't give a shit. I have to meet Beth and Tony at the game."
"Don't sweat it.....let FDR run things for a while....how bad could he fuck it up...oh right....allright get Nixon....he's in charge."
"Damn I hope I see that Kim Kardashian. She has one sweet ass."
"SHOW US YOUR HORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Driving Eddie Curry.
Eddie Curry: Davie?
Dave the limo driver: Yes'm.
Eddie Curry: You're my best friend.
Dave the limo driver: No, go on Eddie.
Eddie Curry: No, really, you are... [Takes Davie's hand]
Eddie Curry: You are.
Dave the limo driver: Yes'm. So where am I driving you?
Eddie Curry: Down to Jersey. To the court house. I have to testify in a parole hearing.
Dave the limo driver: What you’re baby moma is getting out of lock up.
Eddie Curry: No, not that bitch. She be doing a six year bit. No my buddy is gonna go back on trial and he needs some character witnesses.
Dave the limo driver: So who is it? Rush Limbaugh. Hee, hee.
Eddie Curry: No dummy. It’s Jayson Williams.
Dave the limo driver: Yo that bitch? Damn he’s the guy that shot his limo driver. How can you go testify for him Eddie?
Eddie Curry: You say that like there’s something wrong with it. Limo drivers can be a pain in the balls.
Dave the limo driver: So who is it? Rush Limbaugh. Hee, hee.
Eddie Curry: No dummy. It’s Jayson Williams.
Dave the limo driver: Yo that bitch? Damn he’s the guy that shot his limo driver. How can you go testify for him Eddie?
Eddie Curry: You say that like there’s something wrong with it. Limo drivers can be a pain in the balls.
Dave the limo driver: Damn Eddie, I don’t think I am a pain in the balls.
Eddie Curry: Maybe not but you certainly don’t pay enough attention to my balls. Pull over and we can play Interviewing for the Letterman show by the side of the road.
Dave the limo driver: What does that mean Eddie?
Eddie Curry: Maybe not but you certainly don’t pay enough attention to my balls. Pull over and we can play Interviewing for the Letterman show by the side of the road.
Dave the limo driver: What does that mean Eddie?
Eddie Curry: That means you play ball or you don’t get the job. Or play with my balls more precisely. Let’s see if you as good a ball handler as Jamal. Damn I gonna miss that dude. Pull over bitch.
(Driving Eddie Curry, 2009)
Yes Miss Moneypenny"
"Ah Miss Moneypenny, ravishing as always."
"Thank you Commander Bond. I am sure you are quite the ravisher."
"Indeed I am. I love how you love to banter with the boys. Even though things are clearly not what they seem."
"Why whatever do you mean Commander Bond."
"Oh you know what I mean my dear Moneypenny. But why must we be so formal. We have know each other for so long. Please call me James."
"Very well James you can call me Penny."
"Oh and such a bad Penny your are my dear.....yes such a bad Penny. "
Hey you!!! What are you doing there Soldier?"
"I can see what you are doing."
"Looking at all those posts about Julie Newmar."
"Put that away nobody wants to see that."
"I know something about that and it is not good for you. Well I mean I am still here hale and hearty at 91 because of that, but that is no reason for you to be doing that where we can see it through the computer."
"Don't make me jump through the screen."
"I got a razor bitch."
"Yeah.....I thought so."
Mayor Bloomberg is a Scum Bag.
Mayor Bloomberg is the worst. He is just a courrpt fuck who buys himself out of trouble. He was for term limits until it applied to him and then he muscled the City Council to change the law even though the voters voted twice, I repeat twice overwhelmingly to set term limits.
When the recession hit he said "What's the big deal....just buy one less dress a month." ONE LESS DRESS A MONTH! Not less newspapers. Not less radio or tv or whatever shit he makes his money with the fuck.
Now he has fucked the subway up so my customers can't get to me as the train isn't running. For three weekends in a row.
I contributed to Bill Thompson and will do anything to help him win. He is a run of the mill courrpt democrat who can be held accountable not like this moneybagged pultocrat who can buy himself out of anything with his check book.
I HATE MAYOR BLOOMBERG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's all there in black and white.
"Oh hello Trey. Why are you here? We usually don't have a session on Saturdays."
"Well I was in the area Selina. You see Emerson, Lake and Palmer are having a show at the Westchester Preimer Theatre so I thought I would drop by."
"How nice. I was about to go work out."
"Really. You see to have changed some things."
"Not really Trey. Just my hair color. I went back to my natural black. You can tell because if you look carefully at my outfit you can see some tiny curly black hairs sticking out of the bottom of my leotard...Trey...Trey....why are you so redfaced....are you having a stroke..... am I giving you a stroke.....would you like me to give you a few strokes....Trey....Trey...Helllo."
"Hamana hamana hamana uuupppprrrgggghhhh!!!!"
"That's my boy. Here let me turn around and touch my toes to start my routine.....Oh my goodness....you seem to have fallen off your chair again."
That's a new one.
"Look at him Bill. Isn't he kinda cute.""You know I've done a lot of shit since I moved to Hollywood, but I never boned a Muppet."
"I like him. He kind of looks like that kid on the Partridge Family.....Danny something. I think I will be in my trailer for a little while."
"Whatever you say George."
Damnit Jim. I'm a pervert not a doctor!
"Yes I am a pervert. So what?"
"After all there is nothing wrong with a bunny sandwich. Look at Hugh Hefner. Isn't he still living with four bunnies in his mansion after he was defrosted in 2016. What is he 156 or what? If he can do, so can I."
"Stick to your green slave girls and leave me alone."
New sports/activewear line!
We are taking in new sports/active wear line in with lots of work out clothes and comfortable pieces for plus sizes. Check the website for details later in the week.I think it is going to work really well. It is a very well made product at a reasonable price point.
The company is from Canada. You know what is weird. A lot of the new up and coming companies we are dealing with come from Canada. It sort of gives you an idea about where the US manufacturing and entrepreneurial spirit is going.
Right in the dumper.
Shark Tank is full of chum.
One of our main rivals in the plus industry went on the Shark Tank this week and sold 50% of her business for a mere $250,000 which I think is severly undervalued. Something doesn't add up. And it was most unfortunate that she reveled in the sterotypical behavior of a "plus" woman. Watch it online and tell me what you think.
It was most unfortunate.
Hey it's Playoff Time!
Hey you little pissers the Playoff’s are in full swing baby!!!
A-Rod’s urine sample reporting to you on all the games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Yankees won riding CC Ryder all the way through eight innings till the great Mariano closed them out. The Angels sort of Lackeyed something. Hee, hee. It was as cold as Hillary Clinton’s tit last night but the Yankees did what they had to do. I mean did you see Johnny Damon with that Elmer Fudd hat. What’s the matter with that asshole? And Robbie Cano wore a ski-mask like he was gonna rob a bodega on East Tremont Avenue. They better man up or I will have to go there and smack the me out of them.
Speaking of manning up. How did A-Rod tip toe into home plate last night! Didn’t ever even hear of Pete fuckin Rose. You have to hammer the guy. He needed to plow into him like he plowed into that skanky whore Madonna for crying out loud. He’s just lucky we won or he would have gotten his ass handed to him.
Now the Phillies blew it. Like you knew they would. I mean they rode Pedro as long as they could and then they put every pitcher they had on the team in the game. Except for their closer. What’s up with that shit? I expected them to put Terry Mulholland in the game soon. And poor Pedro. He pitches great and has nothing to show for it. I bet he gets drunk tonight and starts posting thousand of comments on the computer again. I hate when that happens. There’s nothing worse than a really depressed Dominican on the internet.
Saint Joe Torre pulled another one out of his ass. I hope the Dodgers make it to the Series and play my Yankees. I bet George Steinbrenner can kick the shit out of a couple of Dodger fans in the elevator again like he did the last time they played in the series. I mean the man is senile and 90 years and all but he should still be able to handle some tofu eating, seventh inning leaving, sun glass at night wearing California pussies.
The playoffs are going just the way that I thought. And what’s great is that MLB is gonna ask for me cause A-Rod looks like such a pussie he can’t be taking extra testosterone. So I won’t be missing any of the game. Cool.
The show went great.
I don't know if you had a chance to catch Lloyd Boston's show "Style at Any Age" on the Fine Living channel. In it he dressed three women. One in twenties, one in her thirties and one in her forties. They came to the store for the girl in her forties.
Well the show went great. Lloyd was very complimentary to the store and loved the clothes he picked out. There was only one thing wrong. When they showed the front awning of the store, it had bird shit on it. Just like what happened on What Not to Wear. I mean I have it cleaned off now but I didn't have it done when they filmed it. You can never get it exactly right you know?
I think the store came off great though and Lloyd picked one of the the dresses that the wife designed. So that was good news. He will be coming back again next season for his regular show "Closet Cases." It should work out great.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Hell needs a new PA announcer
Lucifer: Hot diggity dog. I just heard. Captain Lou Albano just died. Forcas get in here. I want to see the captain so he can set up a rasslin show.
Forcas: I am sorry O Lord and Master but Captain Lou Albano is not here in hell. He went straight to heaven.
Lucifer: What the fuck? What in my name is going on here? Who is our liaison this month? Get him in here. I want to know what the fuck is going on.
Forcas: I think it is Gabriel this month.
Lucifer: Get his holy ass in here. Right now.
(Forcas picks up the hot line and calls for the liaison to heaven…he whispers into the phone and hangs up…suddenly there is a puff of smoke and an angel clad all in white appears)
Gabriel: I am here fallen one. Why have you summoned me?
Lucifer: What the hell is going on up there? Is the big guy crazy? I hear Captain Lou Albano went straight up to heaven. How can that be?
Gabriel: It’s simple. All the bad stuff he was supposed to do was an act. Capt Lou was a holy man. In fact not many people know this but he was actually the reincarnation of Siddhārtha Gautama. He should have been the Dali Lama instead of that creep they have now. But they got mixed up at the stork exchange and everything got screwed up. Plus the old man loves wrestling.
Lucifer: You got to be shitting me. Who the fuck is going to run the wrestling shows down here in hell? Next thing you are gonna tell me he’s gonna keep Vince McMahon?
Gabriel: No, I pretty sure he is scheduled to burn in hell. Just for that phony football league alone. But you don’t get Albano. Sorry. (Gabriel disappears in a puff of smoke).
Lucifer: Shit. I haven’t been this disappointed since he decided to keep Phil Rizzuto. I loved that little guinea. Alright Forcas set up the usual match. I can't wait for Shatner and Nimoy anymore.
Forcas: Right chief. (steps up to the microphone) Will Abe Lincoln, Genghis Kahn, Susan B Anthony and FDR report to the wrestling room for a Hell Death Cage Match.
Lucifer: Sometimes being in hell is well just hell.
(Forcas picks up the hot line and calls for the liaison to heaven…he whispers into the phone and hangs up…suddenly there is a puff of smoke and an angel clad all in white appears)
Gabriel: I am here fallen one. Why have you summoned me?
Lucifer: What the hell is going on up there? Is the big guy crazy? I hear Captain Lou Albano went straight up to heaven. How can that be?
Gabriel: It’s simple. All the bad stuff he was supposed to do was an act. Capt Lou was a holy man. In fact not many people know this but he was actually the reincarnation of Siddhārtha Gautama. He should have been the Dali Lama instead of that creep they have now. But they got mixed up at the stork exchange and everything got screwed up. Plus the old man loves wrestling.
Lucifer: You got to be shitting me. Who the fuck is going to run the wrestling shows down here in hell? Next thing you are gonna tell me he’s gonna keep Vince McMahon?
Gabriel: No, I pretty sure he is scheduled to burn in hell. Just for that phony football league alone. But you don’t get Albano. Sorry. (Gabriel disappears in a puff of smoke).
Lucifer: Shit. I haven’t been this disappointed since he decided to keep Phil Rizzuto. I loved that little guinea. Alright Forcas set up the usual match. I can't wait for Shatner and Nimoy anymore.
Forcas: Right chief. (steps up to the microphone) Will Abe Lincoln, Genghis Kahn, Susan B Anthony and FDR report to the wrestling room for a Hell Death Cage Match.
Lucifer: Sometimes being in hell is well just hell.
Hey sure I will sign your breast.
"Sure I will sign your breast."
"Just whip it out."
"Seriously, it's no problem. Look I have been practicing. I have been writing my name on my arm all day so I remember how to spell it."
"Are you coming to the game against the Giants this Sunday."
"I will be there but I can't play."
"I sprained an ovary and will be out this week."
"What...oh I have both male and female genitalia. I am ambidextrous. So to speak."
"Yes I guess that would make me a bit of a pussy."
"You sure you don't want me to sign."
"OK you'all have a good day now you hear."
Hey if you guys are in town, I will wash your car!
Garage Mahal: Hey if you don't want to go to the Badgers game I understand.
Garage Mahal: But if any of you are in town I will wash your car.
Garage Mahal: I just want you to like me....please.
The Hoff has a special day!
The Hoff: My little burger, tell me it is not true. They must be lying.
The Hoff: Did you know it is my birthday? Si es verdad.
The Hoff: Another year has gone by and you still have not acknowledged me as the only one good enough for you.
The Hoff: How can you enjoy that Middle American tripe when the hot Dominican salsa is here for you?
The Hoff: Bill W is not my friend.
The Hoff: I hate him.
The Hoff: You know who else I hate…Many Ramirez… that maricon…he left me high and dry too!
The Hoff: Did I tell you it was my birthday…. I am legal now… I swear.
The Hoff:
The Hoff: How can you enjoy that Middle American tripe when the hot Dominican salsa is here for you?
The Hoff: Bill W is not my friend.
The Hoff: I hate him.
The Hoff: You know who else I hate…Many Ramirez… that maricon…he left me high and dry too!
The Hoff: Did I tell you it was my birthday…. I am legal now… I swear.
The Hoff:
Cumpleaños Feliz,
Te deseamos a ti,
Qué los cumplas en tu día,
Qué los complas feliz.
The Hoff: Si it is my birthday…. I hate birthdays….you know who else I hate….Jonathan Papelbon….how could they lose….to LOS ANGELS….que paso….Aiiiiiiiiiii!!!!
The Hoff: Come my little burger….sing to me…it is my special day…
The Hoff:
The Hoff: Si it is my birthday…. I hate birthdays….you know who else I hate….Jonathan Papelbon….how could they lose….to LOS ANGELS….que paso….Aiiiiiiiiiii!!!!
The Hoff: Come my little burger….sing to me…it is my special day…
The Hoff:
Feliz, feliz en tu día,
Amiguito qué Dios te bendiga,
Qué reine la paz en tu día,
Y qué cumplas muchos más.
The Hoff: Why don’t you sing to me…you just sit there with you cheese congealing and your lettuce wilting….your special sauce turning….did you ever taste my special sauce…it is muy bueno…si it is!
The Hoff: Still you do not speak to me. I know. I will turn on the computer!
The Hoff: Why don’t you sing to me…you just sit there with you cheese congealing and your lettuce wilting….your special sauce turning….did you ever taste my special sauce…it is muy bueno…si it is!
The Hoff: Still you do not speak to me. I know. I will turn on the computer!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Laura Bush's Diary,
I had just come home with the girls from the Young Republicans Bake Sale and recruitment drive out at TCU. Jenna had whipped up a batch of her famous hash brownies and they were a big hit. Kay Bailey Hutchinson had a whole plateful and got snockered. She kept hitting on the Mexican bus boys. She can really be a horny bitch when she gets her load on let me tell you.
Well we were feeling no pain when we drove up to the ranch in the convertible. I saw W on the porch and he had a really sad expression on his face. I knew something was wrong. I got out of the car and went up to him and said “Well I guess somebody died. That’s the only time you have that face on. Oh and when they canceled Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What happened?” W shook his head. “Bad news I’m afraid Laura.” He reached out to hold my hand. “I am afraid that Captain Lou is in the big rasslin match in the sky.”
I let out a wail. “Oh no that’s terrible. Not Captain Lou Albano. Not another one of our friends from those days. That poor man. That poor man. How can we ever have fun again..?” W embraced me as I let it out. I had to have a good cry. You see Captain Lou Albano had been a mentor. A friend. A rock. He was a hero!
You see after my time in New York I moved back to Texas and W and I started keeping company. I had left the old gang behind. Robin Byrd. Anita Gillette. Al Goldstein. Matty the Horse. Even my Gorilla, my monkey man, my Gorilla Monsoon. You see Gorilla knew we could never have a future. I had to settle down and get married and start a family. It was time. And W and I were in love. You see W was not jealous. He didn’t care about my past. He had his own past and was man enough to know that it didn’t matter if we loved each other. Plus he was shit faced half the time and wasn’t tracking anything so it was all good.
So we got married and were living in a suburb of Dallas while George was in the National Guard and hiding papers so he could eventually get Dan Rather fired when an old friend came to town. Joey Heatherton had just married a receiver for the Dallas Cowboys named Lance Rentzel and she was living part of the time in Dallas during the season. It was great. When W was away on Guard duty, Joey would call me up and I would meet her for a few cocktails with her and her friends on the team. W was happy about that because he was a big fan and loved to meet all the guys on the team. But there was a problem. A big problem. You see that Dallas Cowboys team had the biggest collection of sexual perverts this side of a Directors Guild meeting in Hollywood.
Joey confided in me that her husband Lance couldn’t get it up. In fact he was a wienie wagger who could only get it hard if he was exposing himself to young girls. It was terrible. The Cowboys didn’t know what to do. The only way they kept it under control during the season was the fact that there were so many other perverts on the team You see Bob Lilly and Chuck Howley liked to dress up like young girls. In pinafores and patent leather shoes. So they would dress up in the locker room and Lance would get his rocks off loping his mule while they squealed like little girls. It worked for everyone.
Well except for Don Meredith. He was a big old homo. He kept a beagle and used to ads in the Village Voice talking about how his power glutes could take care of your milky loads. That’s why Howard Cosell hated him. Howard was a homophobe. Ever since he caught the clap from Tony Randall when he got a blowjob when he was a guest star on the Odd Couple.
The Cowboy management covered it all up. They had to with the problem they had with Tom Landry. You see he was obessed with feces. He loved it. Bathed in it. That why the Giants wouldn’t name him head coach and he had to settle for Dallas. He had the cheerleaders dump on him all the time leaving Cleveland Steamers all over the place. He had this little glass coffee table that he would crawl under and have the girls sit on it and take a dump while he whacked it. He even had them shit in his hat. Which he would wear on the sidelines. That’s why nobody would ever stand near him.
Anyway Joey confessed all the weirdness that was going on with the team and she didn’t know what to do. She was a good Catholic girl and didn’t want to get a divorce and she was at her wits end. I told her she had to leave Lance and the toxic atmosphere or it would drag her down. That’s why I left the peeps after all. She agreed but needed a push. It came one day when the rasslin’ show came to town.
You see Vince MacMahon’s father was running the show back then and he controlled the wrestling in the Northeast. But he decided to have a show in the South to see if he could brake into the market. So Gorilla and Jay Strongbow and all our old friends were there and they sent me some free tickets. So W and me and Joey and Lance all went to the show for old times sake.
It was a great show. The first time they ever had the Texas Death Cage Match. Gorilla and the Chief were matched up against these two Eye-talian boys called the Sicilians. What a wild night. The match ended on a disqualification when the Gorilla hit this one guy over the head with a folding chair and he cut himself with a razor he had concealed in his shorts and bled all over the front row.
Later we all went to the Roadhouse for drinks. W was having a grand old time doing shots and talking about flying and we were having a ball. Joey was kind of guiet and sad which was very unlike her. You see her motto was a girl should always have fun. She would always say that when we were at the bar at Sardi’s or going to industry parties and what not. But now the girl wasn’t having fun. She was sad.
But then a strange and wonderful thing happened. The wrestler who had cut himself got back from the emergency room and sat down next to Joey. He was an olive skinned charmer with big soulful eyes. He introduced himself. His name was Lou Albano.
Joey was mesmerized. He was totally different from Lance who was a conventional All American Boy. Lou was squat and muscular with a deep voice and a love of conversation. He was self educated and had read thousands of books. The other guys deferred to him because he was so full of wit and wisdom. Only a man who was very very smart could act so stupid and be believable. He literally charmed the pants right off of Joey. They struck up an affair that night that was one for the ages. Everyone could tell that they were made for each other. It was a love for the ages.
Lance soon went off the deep end. The season ended and he was arrested after letting it all hang out in front of an elementary school. He got traded to California, not that it mattered. Joey had more serious problems. You see she had got knocked up. And Captain Lou was the father.
Joey didn’t know what to do. She wanted to continue her career as a singer and Hollywood floozy. She couldn’t do that with a kid following her around. And she knew that Captain Lou would want to do the right thing and marry her. So she gave the kid up for adoption. Pat Lauper the Cowboys equipment manager agreed to adopt the baby. He was moving to Jersey anyway since he got a job with the Giants in their new stadium. Joey was heartbroken. She went on to a long career of naked album covers and mattress commercials but she still dreamed of the little girl she gave away. The day she handed her over to them she said “Please tell her one thing. Remember. Girls just want to have fun.”
I wonder what ever happened to that poor child?
Well we were feeling no pain when we drove up to the ranch in the convertible. I saw W on the porch and he had a really sad expression on his face. I knew something was wrong. I got out of the car and went up to him and said “Well I guess somebody died. That’s the only time you have that face on. Oh and when they canceled Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What happened?” W shook his head. “Bad news I’m afraid Laura.” He reached out to hold my hand. “I am afraid that Captain Lou is in the big rasslin match in the sky.”
I let out a wail. “Oh no that’s terrible. Not Captain Lou Albano. Not another one of our friends from those days. That poor man. That poor man. How can we ever have fun again..?” W embraced me as I let it out. I had to have a good cry. You see Captain Lou Albano had been a mentor. A friend. A rock. He was a hero!
You see after my time in New York I moved back to Texas and W and I started keeping company. I had left the old gang behind. Robin Byrd. Anita Gillette. Al Goldstein. Matty the Horse. Even my Gorilla, my monkey man, my Gorilla Monsoon. You see Gorilla knew we could never have a future. I had to settle down and get married and start a family. It was time. And W and I were in love. You see W was not jealous. He didn’t care about my past. He had his own past and was man enough to know that it didn’t matter if we loved each other. Plus he was shit faced half the time and wasn’t tracking anything so it was all good.
So we got married and were living in a suburb of Dallas while George was in the National Guard and hiding papers so he could eventually get Dan Rather fired when an old friend came to town. Joey Heatherton had just married a receiver for the Dallas Cowboys named Lance Rentzel and she was living part of the time in Dallas during the season. It was great. When W was away on Guard duty, Joey would call me up and I would meet her for a few cocktails with her and her friends on the team. W was happy about that because he was a big fan and loved to meet all the guys on the team. But there was a problem. A big problem. You see that Dallas Cowboys team had the biggest collection of sexual perverts this side of a Directors Guild meeting in Hollywood.
Joey confided in me that her husband Lance couldn’t get it up. In fact he was a wienie wagger who could only get it hard if he was exposing himself to young girls. It was terrible. The Cowboys didn’t know what to do. The only way they kept it under control during the season was the fact that there were so many other perverts on the team You see Bob Lilly and Chuck Howley liked to dress up like young girls. In pinafores and patent leather shoes. So they would dress up in the locker room and Lance would get his rocks off loping his mule while they squealed like little girls. It worked for everyone.
Well except for Don Meredith. He was a big old homo. He kept a beagle and used to ads in the Village Voice talking about how his power glutes could take care of your milky loads. That’s why Howard Cosell hated him. Howard was a homophobe. Ever since he caught the clap from Tony Randall when he got a blowjob when he was a guest star on the Odd Couple.
The Cowboy management covered it all up. They had to with the problem they had with Tom Landry. You see he was obessed with feces. He loved it. Bathed in it. That why the Giants wouldn’t name him head coach and he had to settle for Dallas. He had the cheerleaders dump on him all the time leaving Cleveland Steamers all over the place. He had this little glass coffee table that he would crawl under and have the girls sit on it and take a dump while he whacked it. He even had them shit in his hat. Which he would wear on the sidelines. That’s why nobody would ever stand near him.
Anyway Joey confessed all the weirdness that was going on with the team and she didn’t know what to do. She was a good Catholic girl and didn’t want to get a divorce and she was at her wits end. I told her she had to leave Lance and the toxic atmosphere or it would drag her down. That’s why I left the peeps after all. She agreed but needed a push. It came one day when the rasslin’ show came to town.
You see Vince MacMahon’s father was running the show back then and he controlled the wrestling in the Northeast. But he decided to have a show in the South to see if he could brake into the market. So Gorilla and Jay Strongbow and all our old friends were there and they sent me some free tickets. So W and me and Joey and Lance all went to the show for old times sake.
It was a great show. The first time they ever had the Texas Death Cage Match. Gorilla and the Chief were matched up against these two Eye-talian boys called the Sicilians. What a wild night. The match ended on a disqualification when the Gorilla hit this one guy over the head with a folding chair and he cut himself with a razor he had concealed in his shorts and bled all over the front row.
Later we all went to the Roadhouse for drinks. W was having a grand old time doing shots and talking about flying and we were having a ball. Joey was kind of guiet and sad which was very unlike her. You see her motto was a girl should always have fun. She would always say that when we were at the bar at Sardi’s or going to industry parties and what not. But now the girl wasn’t having fun. She was sad.
But then a strange and wonderful thing happened. The wrestler who had cut himself got back from the emergency room and sat down next to Joey. He was an olive skinned charmer with big soulful eyes. He introduced himself. His name was Lou Albano.
Joey was mesmerized. He was totally different from Lance who was a conventional All American Boy. Lou was squat and muscular with a deep voice and a love of conversation. He was self educated and had read thousands of books. The other guys deferred to him because he was so full of wit and wisdom. Only a man who was very very smart could act so stupid and be believable. He literally charmed the pants right off of Joey. They struck up an affair that night that was one for the ages. Everyone could tell that they were made for each other. It was a love for the ages.
Lance soon went off the deep end. The season ended and he was arrested after letting it all hang out in front of an elementary school. He got traded to California, not that it mattered. Joey had more serious problems. You see she had got knocked up. And Captain Lou was the father.
Joey didn’t know what to do. She wanted to continue her career as a singer and Hollywood floozy. She couldn’t do that with a kid following her around. And she knew that Captain Lou would want to do the right thing and marry her. So she gave the kid up for adoption. Pat Lauper the Cowboys equipment manager agreed to adopt the baby. He was moving to Jersey anyway since he got a job with the Giants in their new stadium. Joey was heartbroken. She went on to a long career of naked album covers and mattress commercials but she still dreamed of the little girl she gave away. The day she handed her over to them she said “Please tell her one thing. Remember. Girls just want to have fun.”
I wonder what ever happened to that poor child?
Remembrance of things Pabst.
Is that an iron ore deposit or are you just happy to see me?
I went into the city to do accounting today and went to my biggest client who is a big time real estate guy. He usually comes in around 2pm and wants to go for lunch since he is semi-retired and is basically paying me to be his friend. Don’t get me wrong, I do a lot of tax work but pretty much everybody hates him. Especially his family. So he likes to go out ant shoot the shit and tell me how stupid everyone is. No problem for me because I get an hourly rate no matter what we are doing.
Anyway today he tells me he wants me to go with him to a luncheon downstairs at Delominico’s restaurant in the hotel on 40th St. It was for this investment group and his brother invited him to hear about a company looking for investors. Now my client doesn’t get along with his brother and when they are together it is like a comedy show. He goes to me “Did you ever meet my brother?” I said “Yeah when you were sitting shiva for your Mom he was over your house.” “Well my brother is an idiot but if you come along I won’t have to talk to him because he will be asking you for free advice.” Which wouldn’t really be free because I was on the clock but what are you gonna do.
So we sign up and go to the back room where about forty or fifty guys and suits and ties are waiting for the presentation while they started on their salads. We were the only two guys who weren’t in business suits. We both had on jeans and leather jackets with button down shirts and comfortable shoes. I know as you get older you start to look like you pets but do you start to look like your clients?
The presentation started with a slide show. I needed John from the Southwest with me because it was a mining company and the dude was all about ore deposits and yields and what not. The company had no debt and several deals where they had 3% of the gross not the net which seemed interesting. You see they buy property where they know there are minerals and farm out the development. So even if that company went belly up, someone else comes into develop it since the minerals are still there.
Of course all these dudes were just here for the free lunch. The food was pretty good actually. You got a salad with a choice of salmon or lemon chicken with spinach and a potato croquette for the main course. We didn’t stay for dessert as the presentation dragged on and on and people were just fleeing into the rain soaked streets.
As we were leaving we walked through the main dining room and all of these business people were having lunch. I don’t do that anymore. Have lunch at a nice Manhattan restaurant. I used to do it all the time. Every day in fact, when I used to work in the city. I don’t miss it. It is too much to eat in the middle of the day. And we didn’t even have cocktails!
When we got back to the office my client went right to sleep at his desk. That was cool. I got my work done without interruption.
Every cloudy lunch has a silver lining.
I went into the city to do accounting today and went to my biggest client who is a big time real estate guy. He usually comes in around 2pm and wants to go for lunch since he is semi-retired and is basically paying me to be his friend. Don’t get me wrong, I do a lot of tax work but pretty much everybody hates him. Especially his family. So he likes to go out ant shoot the shit and tell me how stupid everyone is. No problem for me because I get an hourly rate no matter what we are doing.
Anyway today he tells me he wants me to go with him to a luncheon downstairs at Delominico’s restaurant in the hotel on 40th St. It was for this investment group and his brother invited him to hear about a company looking for investors. Now my client doesn’t get along with his brother and when they are together it is like a comedy show. He goes to me “Did you ever meet my brother?” I said “Yeah when you were sitting shiva for your Mom he was over your house.” “Well my brother is an idiot but if you come along I won’t have to talk to him because he will be asking you for free advice.” Which wouldn’t really be free because I was on the clock but what are you gonna do.
So we sign up and go to the back room where about forty or fifty guys and suits and ties are waiting for the presentation while they started on their salads. We were the only two guys who weren’t in business suits. We both had on jeans and leather jackets with button down shirts and comfortable shoes. I know as you get older you start to look like you pets but do you start to look like your clients?
The presentation started with a slide show. I needed John from the Southwest with me because it was a mining company and the dude was all about ore deposits and yields and what not. The company had no debt and several deals where they had 3% of the gross not the net which seemed interesting. You see they buy property where they know there are minerals and farm out the development. So even if that company went belly up, someone else comes into develop it since the minerals are still there.
Of course all these dudes were just here for the free lunch. The food was pretty good actually. You got a salad with a choice of salmon or lemon chicken with spinach and a potato croquette for the main course. We didn’t stay for dessert as the presentation dragged on and on and people were just fleeing into the rain soaked streets.
As we were leaving we walked through the main dining room and all of these business people were having lunch. I don’t do that anymore. Have lunch at a nice Manhattan restaurant. I used to do it all the time. Every day in fact, when I used to work in the city. I don’t miss it. It is too much to eat in the middle of the day. And we didn’t even have cocktails!
When we got back to the office my client went right to sleep at his desk. That was cool. I got my work done without interruption.
Every cloudy lunch has a silver lining.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
NRBQ - Captain Lou
He is the man of a thousand faces!!!!!!!
CAPT LOU.....CAPT LOU....CAPT LOU ALBANO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain Lou Albano is the Manager of the Year!
DID YOU SEE THAT MACMAHON!!!!!!!
I AM MANAGER OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Capt. Lou Albano Tells it Like it IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why can't he be the President. He could handle the budget mess and the North Koreans and the Dinner Jacket and all the rest of them.
Girls Just Want To Have Fun
Captain Lou was a star.
I base my look on him. I swear man.
Wife beater, stains, slippers, scraggerly goatee!
The man was a fashion plate.
Gorilla Monsoon vs Capt Lou Albano (MSG 1973)
If you look really really close, you can see Laura in the front row looking scared for her gorilla.
A Giant has passed today.
A Giant of pop culture has passed away today. Captain Lou Albano the great wrestler, wrestling manager, announcer, actor and video star has passed away at the age of 76. He truly was a giant of my ute.
I remember when he won the United States Tag Team championship with his partner Tony Altimore in their ahead of their time team "The Sicilians." And all those years he managed against the likes of the living legend Bruno Sammartino along with other great managers like the grand Wizard of Wrestling. You would tune your UHF antenna so you could pick up the Spanish Station Channel 47 so you could get Lucha Libre professionale on a Saturday night. Man was that fun.
Later he became a video star with munchkin Cindy Lauper and starred in several of her videos and was instrumental in the explosion of wrestling into the multi-million dollar industry it is today.
He was a pioneer and a legend.
Rest in peace sweet prince.
Lee Lee's Valise on Fine Living Network
Hey that special they shot at the store last summer will air tomorrow October 15th at 9 pm on The Fine Living Channel. The special called "Lloyd Boston's Style at Any Age" features the star of "Closet Cases" as he helps pick out a wardrobe for three different women. One of them came to Lee Lee's and picked out a bunch of stuff. Check it out if you get a chance. I am sure it will be replayed a lot so there is no problem catching up with it.
St Lucy Pray for Us.
This is a photo of the shrine to Saint Lucy the patron saint of eyes and eye problems. This shrine is in the front of a brownstone and is dedicated for the intention of one of the owners realtives.
I have one rule for when I visit a Catholic church. I always look for the statues. If they have St Lucy with her eyeballs on a plate then it is a "real" church. Otherwise it is too Protestant for me.
By the way this photo was taken by Glenn Kenny a sometimes contributor to Althouse who is a great film critic and whose blog "Some Came Running" is being added to my blog role.
I always see him sitting at the bar which is right next door to the shrine. A shrine of a different sort so to speak.
Return of Insomnia Theater.
So we were working on posts last night and putting stuff up on the website. I was exhausted so I lay down and went to free movies on demand. And what was on but an old favorite "The Devils Brigade" with William Holden. So I put it on and as always happens the wife started to watch it. Now this movie came out in 1968 and had a lot of people she sort of recognized and would elbow me when they came on and ask me their name. "Whose that the family fued guy" "Richard Dawson." "The guy from the trucker show" "Claude Adkins." "Hey who was the guy staring at the Catwoman...I thought that was Trey." "No that was Michael Rennie."
I hate it when I have to tell everyone who is in the picture. I mean most of the photo's I use here are not of the person I am talking about. So you can't take them too seriously. They are meataphos so to speak.
Except for the catwoman. Those are a tasty piece of meataphor.
Everybody is mad at poor Garage Mahal
I mean the guy was just making a joke. A lot less offensive than most of the stuff that goes on around here. I mean I understand why garage was busting chops. He loves to give his business to his African American friends. And he loves to give the business to his Republican and conservative friends.
Just goes to show you, if you are gonna make a joke about slave girls, just make sure they are green.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Speaking of that....
Hey this week is the big match up between the New York Giants and the lowly New Orleans Saints.
Beth is all excited. She emailed me this photo of how she redecorated her bedroom.
That's kinda Goth dontcha think there Beth?
I expected a ceiling fan and some mosquito netting and whatnot.
Anyway Gaints by 9. Take it to the bank.
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