Sunday, May 31, 2009

Tyler Perry's White House of Pain


Hallway of the Family quarters, upstairs at the White House)
Madea: Whose that up this time of night? I can’t even get a glass of hot milk without running into someone in the hallway while I am in my nightie.
Malia Ann Obama: It’s me Auntie Madea.
Madea: Why you up at this hour child?
Malia Ann Obama: I was scared Auntie. Mommie and Daddy went up to New York and left us here with you and Grannie. I heard on the radio everyone was mad at them because they caused a lot of problems with traffic and that people were very angry.
Madea: Where did you hear such foolishness child? Those people in New York always complain about traffic and inconvience. But the po-po will get it all fixed up never you worry. Even though your sorry ass daddy should have thought it out a little better.
Malia Ann Obama: But daddy is the president? Doesn’t he have a lot to do at home?
Madea: Well he needs to take a break. And your momma deserves one too! Those silly people in New York should take a chill pill. There be just one big problem though.
Malia Ann Obama: What’s that Auntie Madea?
Madea: That skinney ass quadroon daddy of yours ain’t never gonna get cab in the Village after midnight.
Malia Ann Obama: What's a quadroon Auntie?
Madea: Well...it's a kind of cookie. You get it when a slutty white bitch has one in the oven. But never you mind. You go on to sleep and let the grownups take care of things.
Malia Ann Obama: Thank you Auntie. I feel better now that you’re here.
Madea: You’re welcome sugar. Now sweet dreams and I will see you tomorrow. I think we are having waffles for breakfast again.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Quadroon? Yikes. We have a CD of Civil War songs that our kids love. One of the songs is Granpa Jones (of Hee Haw fame) singing about his pretty quadroon. You don't hear/read that word everyday now, do you?

Trooper York said...

I do love a macaroon.

With milk.

blake said...

Mama used to take me
To Audubon Park
Show me the ways of the world

She'd say, "Here comes a white boy.
There goes a black one.
That one's an octoroon.
This little cookie here's a macaroon.
That big red thing's a red balloon
There's a paper down here called The Picayune
Here's a New Orleans tune."
--Randy Newman, "New Orleans Wins the War"