I am hot. No really. I am. I am not making that up. I swear!

It was a dark and stormy night when I sat down to write that column that has caused so much controversy among the right wing nerds in the blogosphere. Members of the vast right wing conspiracy have accused me of plagiarizing the work of some bumpkin blogger.They just hate me because I was born with the gift of laughter and the sense that world was mad. As if I the great and powerful Maureen Dowd would need to cobble together a column from the leavings of some nerd sitting at home in front of his computer in his Spiderman underwear.

It is a lie. A damn lie. I am hot. I am so. I dated Michael Douglas. And that West Wing guy. And all of my editors. Well at least I blew them that’s how I got this job. With my talent.

I am nothing like a no talent hack like Doris Kearns Goodwin. That bitch copies everything like a dyslexic third grader. Look at her last book about queefing. She is writing a history of World War 2 by copying the plots of movies from wikipedia. I ask you, would I do that?

I have been a columnist for four score and seven years and have brought forth upon this continent a column unsurpassed in its insight and originality. This is indeed the time that try’s men’s souls with the summer soldiers and sunshine patriots deserting me in my hour
of need.

So don’t believe the hype. Fight the power. Fuck the internet police. Read my column for my original and incisive thoughts. Because only I can give you the rest of the story.

Hey I like that. I am going to use it as my new tag. It just came to me. Anyway that’s the way it is.