Remembrence of Things Pabst

The other day we went over to hang out at the water. I told Lisa it reminded me of my Uncle V. Not that we ever went over there. It was the smell of the sea.

Uncle V loved the water. He used to take me and my cousins fishing all the time. We would load up his Chrysler Newport sedan with the fishing poles and the cooler and the outboard motor in the trunk. We would drive out to the end of Long Island at Orient Point or to the Peconic Bay in Southhold and rent a boat. Hook up the motor. And fish all day. In the 1960's we used to catch hundreds of fish. Yes hundreds. Our limit was about 200. We didn't do it every time but many times.

One of the things I remember most was the smell of the water and the wind off the water. On a hot day the wind was wonderful. I got the same feeling looking at the water down by the bridge.

Fishing wasn't the only thing we did with Uncle V. He was a surrogate father for all of us because our Dads were all working second jobs. He would take us to the McBurney YMCA in the City where he was a charter member. He taught us how to run on the track. Lift weights. Box. Hitting the heavy bag. He had his own speed bag that he would set up and taught us to make it sing. I can still do that.

We would hang out in the Youth Department. They had pool tables. Ping Pong. A bunch of classes. Judo. Swimming.Handball. It was an all day thing.

When it was over at around five we would all pile out and meet up with my Uncle. And then he took us out to dinner. He would take us to a bunch of joints. Ratners. Chinatown. Lombardi's for pizza. The best. The absolute best was when he took us to Horn and Hardart.

It was over on 42nd and Third Avenue and it was really cool. It had all the food behind glass. You would walk up and put a token in the slot and then you could open the door and get your food. We would get all our favorites. Mac and cheese. Hot dogs. And pie. Lots and lots of pie. It was great when you were a kid and could pick out whatever you wanted. The food was hearty and tasty and  stuck to your ribs. The pies were sublime. Also keylime. But mainly sublime.

Uncle V is gone now. You have to get a license to fish in the ocean. They count the number and size of the fish you take. A joint like Horn and Hardart could never exist. The food Nazi's and the nanny state would come up with a thousand regulations. You can't pick the food yourself. What do you think this is a free country?

Another part of old New York that is gone forever.

I want pie.

Enough with the Mustache Petes

The door to the social club opened and the short soft spoken Jew walked into the room. He walked softly. He talked softly. He was deadly none the less. A snake without a rattle to warn you.

A scar faced man in an expensive suit sat at the table drinking espresso. He looked up and a flash of pleasure made a brief trip across his features. A flicker at most. You had to know him to see it. Luckily Meyer knew him well.

"Charley" he said as he pulled out a chair and put his hat on the table. "We got a problem"

"Hows that Meyer? Things seem to be calming down. We are in good with that Pig Masseria. He trusts me about as much as he trust anybody. I know you hates you but it ain't nuthun personal. It's just cause you're a Jew. He don't even like most wops if they don't come from his shit hole village back on the other side."

"Well I hear there is a new game in town. It seems that a new patron is setting up. Salvatore Maranzano. He was a hot shit back in Sicily and he came prepared. Money. Guns. Guys who can and will use them. He is already making some moves to muscle into bootlegging. It is going to come to guns sooner than later. Do you think betting on Massiera is the right play. He ain't that smart. Shrewd I grant you. But he is a dumb fuck."

"He's on top right now. Plus he has the fucking Clutching Hand and Ciro and all those fucks uptown in his pocket. It ain't the time to make the move now. We need to get more of the boys on board. It's gonna happen just not quite yet."

Meyer shook his head. "I don't know. This Marazano is not going to go quietly. He has a lot of support. Especially in Brooklyn. He's gonna make a move. I know it. I can smell it. We don't want to be standing between him and Massieria. Somethin to think on Charley. That's all."

"Fair enough. We don't have to do shit tonight. Let's go for some Jew food. I feel like pastrami."

"Katz's it is." They got up and put on their hats and walked toward the door.

Diamonds are a girls best friend

Toot’s Shors Saloon, October 1, 1960(Joe DiMaggio walks into Toots Shore’s saloon, what he doesn’t know is that his ex-wife Marilyn Monroe is sitting in the back)

Toots: Hey Joe, how ya doing….ah…Marilyn’s here…in the back…just so you know. She’s there with Casey.

Joe DiMaggio:

Toots: I don’t want no trouble Joe, why don’t you just go up and say hello. But keep it nicey nicey please Joe. Think of my license. (Joe walks to the back to and stands in front of her table. She is sitting with a very worried looking Casey Stengel and she is not wearing any underwear)

Marilyn: (stands up and kisses Joe on the cheek and says in a breathy sexy voice) Hi Joe. Did you miss me? (Marilyn sits down opposite Joe, and as she does her legs are really open. She begins to queef quietly, just barely audible over the sounds of the bar. )

Joe DiMaggio:

Toots: Of course he missed ya kid. Didn’t ya Joe?

Casey: Hey Joe. Fancy meeting you here. Marilyn and I were just having a couple of pops. I am waiting for the boys to show up. I hope they didn’t go to the Copa again. Maybe you can get the boys to keep them out for me?

Joe DiMaggio:

Marilyn: So Joe. How have you been? Have you been seeing anybody lately? I have. I have been seeing

I am seeing a bunch of people. Sinatra. That cute Florida senator. In fact he is going to introduce me to Jack Kennedy. (She starts to queef louder and more furiously. It sounds almost like a song. In fact when she did it in Hollywood later that week it inspired Johnny Mercer to write Moon River)

Joe DiMaggio:

Casey: Joe I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Marilyn and I are just friends. I just sat with her so I could avoid talking to Kyle Rote. He is a queer you know. Always trying to get free tickets and into the locker room. He has a thing for Elston Howard. Likes his poon tangy I guess.
Marilyn: Don’t be stupid Casey. He knows we ain’t fucking. I don’t fuck old guys. Unless I can get a movie out of it. And even then it usually just a blow job. I don’t fuck old guys or limp dick ball players. Not anymore. Right Joe you greasy fucking guinea?

(She is now queefing as loud as a pond full of drunken ducks)
Joe DiMaggio:

Marilyn: What nothing to say…typical. Useless limp linguine dick motherfucker. Let’s go Casey you better get me a cab you hump back fucker. (Marilyn picks up her purse and storms out of the saloon)

Casey Stengel: Sorry Joe. I will put her in a cab. Come in see me at the Stadium for the Series. I know we are going to smash the Pirates. Just like old times. (Casey sheepishly limps away and follows her out of the restaurant)

Toots Shor: What a crazy broad man, forget about her Joe.

Joe DiMaggio: Get me that faggot George Weiss on the phone. That fucking loser is finished with the Yankees. When I get finished with him he will be lucky to get a job managing a Horn and Hardart.

Toots: You sure Joe?

Joe DiMaggio: DO LIKE I TELL YOU AND SHADUP!

Why are they killing everyone off on TV these days?

There is a new trend on TV these days. Killing off characters. It happens all the time. I guess it is a way to get some bang for your buck and gets rid of actors who are a pain in the ass. So if you want a raise they just write you out and kill you off. It has happened before but it seems to happen all the time now.

It can be shocking when it happens. When they killed off Detective Carter on "Person of Interest" I have to say I was pretty surprised. She was an integral part of the show. The third most important character. The actress went on to star in the new hit music series "Empire" so she doesn't care. She even came back for one episode in a dream sequence so I guess it was an amicable parting.

Then they killed off Matthew in Downton Abbey because he wanted a big raise. So a convenient car crash was set up and that was the end of that. They didn't part on good terms so I really doubt we will see him again on the show. It was a bit of a shock at the time though.

They did it again with Nadia on Chicago PD. She was not a series regular but she was in a bunch of episodes and was a pretty popular character. She was an ex-prostitute and drug addict that one of the detectives took under her wing and mentored her to the point she was going to apply to be a cop. To see her kidnapped, tortured and murdered by a serial killer was a little jarring.

But that is the new trend on TV. Kill off characters in the most baroque way possible.

Is that Art imitating Life again?

Life imitates Art.....all the time

Some people love to knock episodic TV. Of course some people are just idiots. The world of the "Wire" which was set in Baltimore is now all over our TV screens. The show illustrates the corruption of the power structure in Baltimore. Where the city councilmen and poverty pimps mouth the words but steal with both hands. Where the cops are shoveling shit against the tide and the journalists are lying and making shit up. Where the schools fail and the thug life and the corner boys claim whole generations. Where there is no hope left. We have seen it all on the Wire so what is happening now in Baltimore is really just a repeat.

They just finished a big three part story arc on Chicago Fire, Chicago PD and Law and Order SVU. Now normally I don't follow Law and Order because it is so politically correct. But I followed this storyline and it was interesting.

There was the serial killer. Well there is always a serial killer these days. He was white. Of course. A doctor. He rapes and kills women and burns them up to get rid of the evidence. Normally I don't watch this stuff but we always watch Chicago Fire since Lisa's Dad was a fireman and we like to see the stories and marvel about what her father did without any of that fancy equipment. You see back in the day the only equipment they had was beer. They used to say give me five drunken fireman and I could put out any fire you got! So we followed the story all the way across the shows.

Now Chicago PD is a strange show. The star or Hero I guess is Sergeant Voight who we met on Chicago Fire when he was attacking one of the fireman who testified against his son who was a drunk driver. Voight got him out of a lot of jams but the Fire Lieutenant wouldn't let up and even got Voight arrested and stuff. Somehow he got out of the scrape and was put in charge of the Intelligence Unit.

With all of the publicity about police brutality it is pretty funny how this show works. These guys tune up every suspect each week and have a secret location to torture them to get information. Sound familiar? There is a big scandal in Chicago about just the same thing. But it is an accepted part of every episode. Are they going to have an episode where they all get suspended or fired for beating on a suspect? Will they snap some perp's spine or choke out a fat fuck?

That would be life imitating art. Hee.

A hidden treasure of New York

There are a lot of hidden spots that are just a treasure in NYC. The Promenade in Brooklyn Heights is one. Specifically that spot near the carousel in what is the developing Brooklyn Bridge Park.

It is in Dumbo between the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges. The picture above is the Manhattan Bridge where you can see the N train go by.

They have some benches in front of the carousel where people where hanging out. Some kids were dressed up and taking photos. It was either Prom or Quinceanera I don't know which.

All in all it is just a great place to hang and enjoy the great weather and wind off the water.

Baseball has a big problem.

The game played in an empty staduim by the Orioles and the White Sox is going to be just the first among many. The fact that many stadiums are in the inner city and most of the fans are white is an explosive situation. Why should a suburban Dad bring his wife and kids to a venue where savages will attack him in the street. Break into his car and try to harm his family. They are not going to do it.

Why would a business pay top dollar to send clients to a venue where they will get beat up and robbed? Or even have to deal with protesters screaming and throwing stuff at them. They can just as easily take them to play golf or something.

MLB needs to lay down the law and either provide private security or the National Guard to protec the fans. Or it is all over. 

I expect the Orioles attendance to drop by about 50% for the rest of the year. 

A good day!

Yesterday was a day off but as usual we had to run a bunch of errands. Principally we had to go to the doctors which we always seem to do on our days off. The only advantage is that we are down at Brooklyn Heights so we always make a day out of it.

We have a new tradition of going to brunch at Theresa's which is the great Polish diner at the end of Montague Street. Now Montague Street was hot shit back in the day. It was mentioned in a Bob Dylan song and was a bastion of "hip" culture in the 1960's. It had coffee houses and bars and stuff that wasn't your traditional Irish ginmill that dominated Brooklyn in those days. So when you went to Montague Street you were a "rebel." Hee. Now it is old money and everyone needs a walker. I fit right in.

We went with the omelets since I was not allowed to have any pirogies. Truth to tell I didn't fell like it anyway because it was too hot for them. So I had the cheddar and mushroom omelet and Lisa had the Brie omelet. With home fries and multi grain bread it was great.

When we were done we waked down Montague to the Promenade. This is the view you see in every movie about NYC. The weather was spectacular and I loved the smell of the water. I reminded me of when I would go fishing with my Uncle V and brought back some great memories. There were kids and parents and tourists and old folks just enjoying the sun,

The only thing was that the sun was really strong and I was afraid our pasty white winter skin would burn. On this weeks episode of "Call the Midwife" that was part of the plot. All of these white people went into the sun when they weren't used to it and got burned right up. Jeez. I know the feeling.

We kept walking all the way down to the bridges. Or to Dumbo which is "Down Under the Manhattan Brooklyn Bridges." Why the last letter is an "O" and not a "B" is pretty self evident. You have to maneuver around because the new proposed Brooklyn Bridge Park is not finished yet so you have go over hill and dale to get where you want to go.

One of the streets is a very steep incline where you are walking straight down hill. It is a slippery slope.

To continue with our boring Bob Dylan song motif we went all along the Watchtower.

At one time the Jehovah Witnesses owned most of the property down there. They sold out a few years ago for a shit pot full of money. No fools there. All those days waking me up by ringing the door bell sure paid off.

We finally get back to the water and don't you know it? The carousel was closed. So I didn't get to ride the horsey. Spring is here but not yet in full bloom. You have to wait around a little longer.

All in all it was a great day. Sunshine. A great brunch. Hanging out with my baby by the water and taking in the sea air.  Heaven.

I don't say it enough....but EBL has a great blog.

He ain't just farting around!

This is what you need to remember!

1636: The Cardinal Virtues

It is very interesting to me how people promote their books. Established authors have their established techniques. SM Stirling puts up sample chapters as a come on. His new book in the "Emberverse Series" has already listed seven chapters. He usually goes to about ten before he publishes so he is almost there. I had ribbed him about this and he even came here to reply in the comments section when I had an open blog. That's the kind of thing you lose when you have a closed shop.

In any event Eric Flint does a different thing. He has a place on his website that he calls "Snippets" where he post the first bit of several chapters of his new work. So when you read it you get the rest of the chapter and then of course the rest of the book.

His latest work of alternative history is called 1636: The Cardinal Virtues in which he imagines that the Queen of France is impregnated by Cardinal Mazarin with the collusion of Cardinal Richelieu. This has long been speculated about by historians but Eric picks it up as fact and weaves it into his science fiction alternative history series.

I don't know if you are aware of the "Sad Puppies" controversy and the Hugo Awards and the big fight between the SJW and the reading public. Basicly there are two groups in science fiction. The politically correct wing that controls most of the big publishers and the outlaw grouping in Baen Books that self publishes a bunch of authors. I am a big Baen fan for several reasons. One of which is that they have this thing called ARC or Advanced Readers Copy where  you can get a book months before it is available on Amazon. The problem is I can never figure out how to download it on my Kindle so I download it on my Ipad and then end up buying it again for my kindle. Even so the total cost is much less than what the hardcovers used to cost and the books aren't underfoot and gathering dust. So it is worth it.

I might get the ARC of the Cardinal Virtues after I finish the Custer book.

Custer in Chains!

One of my favorite authors of alternative history Robert Conroy has come out with a great new page turner called "1882 Custer in Chains."

It seems that Custer brought along a couple of Gatling guns and survives the fight at Little Big Horn. He became a national hero and was elected President. In reality there was a little boomlet for him to do just that in real life and if he had triumphed at Little Big Horn this would have been a real possibility. In any event this lead to Custer leading us into a war with Spain much earlier than happened in our history with disastrous results.

I just started reading it and it has the usual excellent mix of historical personages and fictional characters that highlight all of Conroy's work.

If you want to sample Conroy's work I would also recommend what I think is his best book: "1901"

This is a great little story where Imperial Germany under the Kaiser decides to flex it's muscle by invading the United States to take away the colonies we had just taken from Spain. With very interesting appearances by Teddy Roosevelt, James Longstreet, Kaiser Wilhelm and a host of other historical personages you can see from a totally different perspective.

Alternative history is one of my favorite genres and I delight to see one of my favorites issue another book. With new missives from SM Stirling, Harry Turtledove and Eric Flint it is going to be a busy summer.

Highly recommended.

Will baseball survive.........the Obama Apocalypse

Baseball and Football are fundamentally different in one very important respect.

Football is primarily a suburban sport in big stadiums that you reach on the interstate. Like Giants Stadium or Foxboro. Baseball especially the old line teams are much more urban playing on "Fields" in the inner city. Yankee Stadium. Fenway. Wrigley Field. Camden Yards.

The recent incident where they held the crowd back because of riots in the streets of Baltimore reminds me of how close to the edge the survival of baseball really is in the real world. Baseball has become a sport where white people pay a lot of money to see Hispanics play ball in a black neighborhood. Baseball has destroyed it's traditional working class clientèle. Or at least the Yankees and the Mets have in their ticket pricing policies and seat license fees for their new ball parks. The seats are all owned by corporations and businesses who take a write off. The old time season ticket holders are gone. Most working class or middle class people get their tickets in the resale market from Stub Hub or some other ticket exchange. The days where you would buy a Sunday plan or a weekday plan are gone because it is just too expensive. So you are not getting the real "fanatics" who come out by hell or high no matter what. Corporate people will not put their clients at risk. Who is going to give out tickets to clients who have to wait in the park until the rioting stops.

I remember the 1970's and 1980's when it was much the same. Yankee stadium was considered a war zone where people were afraid to bring their families. The rise in popularity of the Mets was in part directly attributable to the fact that people didn't want to go to the South Bronx. Those days are coming back. It seems that a lot of people don't want to pack into graffiti scarred packed trains to be harassed going in and going out of the ball park. Or walk a couple of blocks to their cars and dodge homeless beggars and squeegee men. You are not going to pay the big bucks and put up with that crap.

What happened it Baltimore this weekend is part and parcel of the racialism and resentment policy of Obama and the progressive movement. The entire power structure in Baltimore is black. The mayor. The city council. The police chief. A majority of the police force. But still there are riots and violence because of police misconduct. I don't know the rights and wrongs of that particular case but there is no reason for the riots and civil unrest before any investigation or trial. The sense of entitlement and racial resentment stoked by Obama and Holder and Sharpton and MSNBC and the New York Times is boiling over.

Baseball and their inner city stadiums might just be collateral damage.

Today's Gospel

Jesus said:
“I am the good shepherd.
A good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
A hired man, who is not a shepherd
and whose sheep are not his own,
sees a wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away,
and the wolf catches and scatters them.
This is because he works for pay and has no concern for the sheep.
I am the good shepherd,
and I know mine and mine know me,
just as the Father knows me and I know the Father;
and I will lay down my life for the sheep.
I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold.
These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice,
and there will be one flock, one shepherd.
This is why the Father loves me,
because I lay down my life in order to take it up again.
No one takes it from me, but I lay it down on my own.
I have power to lay it down, and power to take it up again.
This command I have received from my Father.”
http://www.usccb.org/bible/john/10:18

Today's Gospel is the familiar one of the Good Shepard. Now the metaphor of the shepherd is obviously more appropriate to the more agricultural rural times but it is an easy enough concept for the modern person to grasp. 

What make a Good Shepard? One who keeps his flock safe from harm? Who leads them out of harms way?  I think that is a reasonable definition. How are our leaders acting as shepherds?

My local parish priest is a very good Shepard. He tends his flock diligently. Always around to help and give good advice. We met him in the street the other day and had a chance to chat which we never get to do on Sunday. He was telling me about the renovation. It seem they are spending about $4 million to redo the church and the parish hall. That is a heck of a lot of money but it is really good news. That means they will not be so quick to close this parish. They have invested too much to do that so it is a great relief. The reason why the parish is strong is because of Father Chris. He is very family friendly and parents come from other parishes just because of the way he treats the kids. Some live next door to a church and still come to St Mary's. It is because of the shepherd.

My question has long been what kind of shepherd will Pope Francis turn out to be when it is all said and done? His recent pronouncements about economics and the upcoming ones about global warming trouble me. We are currently facing the greatest challenge for Christians in many a long year. Christians are being slaughtered all over the world. In Paris they just arrested a gunman who planned to go to a church to murder Catholics. ISIS cut off the heads of Coptic Christians in Egypt. Muslim refugees throw Christians into the Sea and the President wouldn't even mention it in his Press Conference. The Italian Prime Minister said it was no big deal. Why should he when the Pope is not leading his flock? Pope Francis has spoken out but no where nearly enough. He should call a prime time news conference to denounce these murders. He should be shouting from the rooftops. He needs to be the shepherd that protects his flock. Even the other Christians who are not in his flock but still need his leadership.

"These also I must lead, and they will hear my voice." 

I don't think that Obama is a Christian. He is not a member of the flock but the Pope needs to make him hear his voice. The Pope needs to speak out loudly and vehemently and clearly that this situation can not stand! He needs to put the politically correct nonsense aside and lead his flock out of danger.

Where is our Shepherd?
.

Put on your red shoes and dance!

Hat tip to Lem.

Problems of a shopkeeper

I got to the store early today. Actually on time. Usually I wait for Lisa as the girl can handle it on her own but now that it is getting warmer we are getting busy a little earlier. The bra fitting is labor intensive so I have to watch the front store and direct traffic to get the maximum potential out of the foot traffic.

We are opening and there is this homeless black emotionally disturbed guy right outside the store. He is standing there mumbling to himself and dropping to the floor and doing push ups. Then he walks over and bangs his hand against the lock where the electric box is to raise the gate.

The behavior he is exhibiting signals that he either just got out of prison or he is signaling Dian Fossey through the mists. Now I can't really confront him as it would go south fast. It would turn into a beef at best or a fist fight at worse. I could walk out with my bat and tell him to move along and then I could get arrested for protecting my business. So I decide to call the precient.

I thought that would be better than just calling 911. Why escalate the situation. If I called the cop shop and they sent a car over to move the guy down the highway we could take care of it without fuss or muss.

So I am on the phone with the 76th and the mook on the line goes "Well is he bothering anybody?" "Yes anybody who wants to come into my store while he is doing push ups and cursing right in front of my door. Oh he is walking down the block." "Ok bye.' And she hangs up.

No questions. No follow up. No help. No concern for a business in the neighborhood. I know in the 1960's they had a pad where they had to pay the beat cops every week. It wasn't a lot. Five bucks. But they would show up when you called.

Why can't we go back to that?

Maybe when the next time the cops show up because some asshole tagged my store I can ask for a cell phone number. Then I can tip them when they show up like the UPS guy. I think that is the only way I can get the cops to show up when I need them.

You've Got Mail

To: Senator Rand Paul
From: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton
Re: Your ridiculous questions about abortion

Dear Rand. Your fascist father made a big mistake when he named you after his favorite author. He should have named you after the literary character you most resemble. Lenny the retard in "Of Mice and Men."

I noticed recently you replied to a question about abortion that you would answer it when a liberal would answer a question about aborting a seven pound baby. Well let me answer that one for you.

It can be this fucking big and we can still chop it up!

Of course I would support aborting a seven pound baby. Or a ten pound baby. Or one that can walk and talk. I don't care if it can survive outside of his mothers womb. Why does the weight matter? It is totally up to the whim of the woman. If she feels mentally distressed in any way than that doctor can go in and chop up that fetus like it is the shrimp special at Benihana. Don't you know that woman have fought to have the right to kill their babies no matter what?

And don't give me that religion bullshit. As I have said before deep-seated cultural codes, religious beliefs and structural biases have to be changed. That fetus is just a blob of cells until it is old enough to contribute to the Clinton foundation.

Abortion now, Abortion tomorrow, Abortion forever.

So I think I found a new one

We finished with our customers from San Fransisco about 9:30 pm so we were exhausted. I made a quick cold dinner of roast pork and fresh mozzarella with a light salad. We sat down to veg out in front of the TV but we had a dilemma. We had seen all of the stuff that we had put on the DVR and were stuck with live TV or Netflicks. We had also run through most of the series were following on Netflicks expect for the Caribbean British Police procedural show "Murder in Paradise." We like to save that for when we are lying down because that shit puts you asleep faster than any narcotic. So I had to find something new.

Well I think I did. There is another British Police Procedural called "Broadchurch." Coincidentally it stars the same dude that played the lawyer in the "Escape Artist" that we had just finished. He is a
pretty good actor so we decided to give it a chance.

It is set in Dorset a seaside community of England. It is the dark side of a show like Doc Martin. You get to visit a close knit insular community and meet the eccentric people who make up the town. But this is the dark side and you get to see how fucked up people can be.

This show deals with a pretty grim subject which is the murder of a child. The parents are naturally suspects and there are various creepy people who you think might be the perp. I am only two shows in but it seems engrossing. It has two seasons and they signed for a third so that's cool.

Tentatively recommended.

ee cummings on Abe Vigoda

let’s live suddenly without thinking

under honest trees,
                        a stream
does.the brain of cleverly-crinkling
-white tunics pursues the angry dream
of the shore. By midnight,
                                a moon
scratches the skin of the your healthy hills

an edged nothing begins to prune my shorts

let’s live like the light that kills
and let’s as silence,
                            because Whirl’s after all:
(after me)love,and after you.
I occasionally feel viagra how
viagra idon’t know tenuous Now-
spears and The Then-arrows making do
our mouths something red,something tall

if it lasts more than an hour
call my doctor. 

And your sister.

Marilyn's Diary

Aunt Lily was distraught when Uncle Herman left us. She turned to drugs, sex and plastic surgery. But more than that she became sex obsessed.

She had many sexual partners. Bo Belinsky. Hugh Hefner. Charlie Manson. Dennis Wilson. Don Draper. Mamie Van Doren. But it was not enough for her.

Finally she adapted the electric chair that Uncle Herman had brought back from Germany where he had first been reanimated. She rigged it into a huge electric vibrator. She sat in it for hours at a time.

I couldn't take it anymore. I moved out the next day.

Wild Wild Life

Marlin was insatiable. We couldn't stop him from fooling around with the animals. It didn't matter what kind. What species. What gender. He would screw any of them.

The worst were the pigs. He loved the moist little piglets. They were so pretty and pink and sweet. He would always come along and help with the feeding. He would get them used to him holding them lovingly as he stuck something into their mouth for them to suckle. Eventually he would make a substitution. The zoo keeper was never quite figured out what was going on.

Marlin Perkins was a pervert.

( Don Meier, Talk into this with the Animals...The E True Hollywood Story of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom)

Boy you have a good memory.......Not really ......Oh Henry!

So a couple just walked into the store almost at closing. I remember them vividly even though they haven't been here since 2008.

"Hey how's it going? San Fransisco right?"
"Great memory. I can't believe you remember me from so long ago!"
"Of course I do. Let me set you up in a dressing room."

You see they are a black lesbian couple. They came in when we first opened and the girly one spent a couple of grand. I chatted with the other one for hours while she shopped. Sports. Books. TV. Food. Restaurants.

At end of the day it was an Oh Henry moment. You see I thought he was a dude. But the dude was a dudette. Or something. Whatever.

I was just freaking lucky I didn't say the wrong thing. I will never forget them. It taught me a big lesson. Never assume. That might not be a dude.

Remembrance of things Pabst

Today was my regularly scheduled doctors appointment and don't you know that he moved without telling me! I show up and the office is closed. I call and they tell me that he closed the Atlantic Avenue Office and has only the one on Flatbush Avenue all the way out by the shopping center at Caesar's Bay. They tell me that they called all the patients. I'm like "Hey I am the patient and nobody called me! What the fuck?" So I was shit out of luck.

We had blocked out a couple of hours so we decided to walk around Atlantic Avenue and check out some of the stores. But first we were going to our favorite coffee shop that our buddy had on Hoyt Street that we always visit when we go to the doctor.

I have mentioned the place before.  It is called the "The Little Sweet Cafe" and they have really good coffee and tea and sandwiches. His crepes are particularly nice. He makes one with apples and maple syrup and another with an spinach omelet that are off the hook.  We were pissed off that we missed the doctor so we walked down Atlantic and turned down Hoyt. And we became disoriented.

It seemed the cafe had moved two stores up the street. It was in the space that was a formerly a trendy clothing boutique. We always would stop in the boutique to chat with the manager. At one time we thought about poaching her for our store as she said she had been working there for about ten years. What we couldn't figure out was how they paid their rent with what they had to sell. I guess they didn't because they are gone and the cafe was in their spot.  We open the door and walk in and the whole experience was different. It was oriented from left to right instead of from right to left if that makes sense. He had fewer tables but more cooking space. Three of the four tables were occupied and they were from cheek to jowl at that. One table had the guys wife and her kid and reciepts spread all over it. There wasn't any room for us.

I just ordered some tea for take out while we chatted. It seems his landlord wanted him to move because the store on the other side wanted to expand. They got rid of the boutique which was behind in its rent as I suspected. He wasn't happy about moving since he had the old joint the way he wanted. Truth to tell I liked that a lot better.

We won't be going back. My doctor has moved so I no reason to go back there. I might not be back for ten years. That happens all the time. A joint you like changes and it just doesn't work for you. So you move on. No hard feelings. You have to find what works for you. There are a million coffee shops in Brooklyn. You can't hit a dead cat and not hit a coffee house.

I sent Omar and all his buddies there because they had halal food. So he still has that trade. Things have their time but generally they decline and are not as enjoyable. I think it is called entropy or some shit like that there.

Crepes!

It never ends.....you can't escape it

So there was this silly little incident on the Real Housewives of New York City this week. The new girl Dorinda was the first to arrive at a dinner party. She sits down and decides she wants to check her coat. Now she sees this black guy standing by the hostess table and he starts walking toward her. She assumes that he works there and calls him over. She goes "Can you take this please and check it." He goes "I don't work here." Hilarity ensuses.

On the Previously TV sites a few hard core SWJ jump and call Dorinda a racist. She disrespected a black man so she should be fired. Now Dorinda apologized profusely and groveled on TV and on Social Media. She knows that the mob was picking out their pitchforks and firing up their torches. Several of these douches went on about how that is how a racist rich Republican treats black people with their micro aggressions that are so hateful. Jeeez.

I think this bimbo was just clueless. She saw this tall dude dressed in a white shirt and tie walking around looking like he was working in the joint. It was an easy mistake to make. I have been stopped many times back in the day in various bars where they thought I worked there or that I owned the joint. You see when I walked in the staff would all come up to say hello and maybe ask a question or two. I was often their accountant and the accountant for the bar. The other patrons didn't know that they just saw everyone asking questions of this older white guy. So they assumed I had something to do with the bar. Does that make them racists.

Race poisons everything. Claims of racism and demands for reparations are only going to get worse when Obama steps down. You gave an inch so now they want a mile. We are never going to come back. Voluntary de facto segregation is becoming the norm. Everywhere.

I will be second to no one in deploring this development.

From behind the walls of a gated community in Florida.

Sometimes a show will fool you

So we found this new British mini-series that sort of hits all the notes that we look for in a new series to watch on Netflicks. It is about a British lawyer or Barrister as they are called who is such a great defense lawyer that they call him the "Escape Artist." I guess because he helps them escape from a guilty sentence.

It is only three episodes so that is good. It starts out pretty good with a horrible scary villain who the lead gets off on a dead to rights murder charge. It devolves from there. It is pretty derivative and most of the twists and turns are telegraphed right away. So I can't really recommend it. I mean if you want to kill some time and have something on in the background to fall asleep to then this is the ticket. But it is not up to snuff.

Here is a post that will never make certain blogs.

New York Post, April 22, 2015

A police union chief was outraged and a cop’s wife left in tears as a Manhattan jury on Wednesday cleared a Harlem madman of attempted murder for stabbing the cop in the head, causing serious long-term injuries.

“It is impossible to conceive of a reason why this jury got this verdict so wrong,” Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association president Patrick Lynch railed. “The facts of the crime are the very definition of attempted murder of a police officer.”

The surprising verdict, which came after just five hours of deliberation, left Det. Eder Loor’s wife, Dina, sobbing as she collapsed into the arms of a relative.

The jury’s decision means Terrance Hale, 29, has dodged a life sentence for plunging a jagged 3 ¹/₂–inch blade into Loor’s skull, piercing his brain, on April 17, 2012.

The jury did convict Hale of the lesser raps of assault, aggravated assault of a police officer and weapon’s possession for which he faces a minimum sentence of 10 years and a maximum of 25 years prison.

“Officer Loor is only alive today by the grace of God and talent of the medical professionals who cared for him,” Lynch said. “It is imperative that the judge give this wannabe cop-killer the maximum when he is sentenced for the lesser conviction of assault.”

The gory attack happened after Loor, 31, and his partner responded to a 911 call for an emotionally disturbed person in Harlem. Hale’s mother told the operator her son was a bipolar schizophrenic, off his medication and acting erratic.

“I noticed he was getting a little irate,” the cop testified of Hale at the trial in Manhattan Supreme Court. “I went to hold his left side and I just remember seeing his arm go over Merisme’s (his former partner) head and hit me right on the head. I felt like I was hit with a bat.”

The doctors who treated Loor described his survival as a “miracle.”

Loor showed jurors a massive surgical scar that runs from the top of his forehead to the back of his head and loops around to his left ear.

He said he still struggles with chronic pain, difficulty with short-term memory loss and multitasking. He has been on medical leave since.

Attorney Scott Cerbin argued that Hale, who has a documented history of mental illness, was in the midst of a severe delusion when he stabbed Loor but jurors rejected the insanity defense.

It’s a a very sad case,” the lawyer said. “Two families are devastated.”

District Attorney Cy Vance lauded Loor’s courage: “The bravery exhibited by Officer Loor….and every member of the NYPD who puts his or her life on the line each day should never be taken for granted.”

Hale has a prior felony conviction for stabbing a man in the arm and back in 2006.

So here was a cop who was attacked by a mentally disturbed youte and is now permanently disabled. If he used a stun gun or a baton or God forbid shot him there would be riots in the streets. He got a "Bronx" jury and we will be lucky if this mook will even do ten years. 

Eli might not be coming.......back

Eli Manning's contract is up and he is not rushing to sign an extension. The Giants are not stressing and not rushing either. They can slap the franchise tag on him and resign him so it is not a big deal.
The attempts by the New York Post to gin up a controversy will not work here.

You see the Giants and the Yankees work pretty much the same way. They can pretty much sign anybody they want. But they don't always want to resign people so they let them walk. Even if they were decent players who still have a little left. What those players need to do is understand that they are not bigger than the team. It really means something to be a life long Giant or Yankees. The Giant players get great off the field opportunities. Frank Gifford, Kyle Rote and Pat Summeral became big time broadcasters. In a later generation Phil Simms, Tiki Barber, Michael Strahan, Harry Carson and Carl Banks are all doing very well. Brad Benson has become one of the biggest car dealers on the East Coast with commercials every other minute on WFAN. Strahan even got a talk show with Kelly Ripa.

Eli is like Jeter. The same thing happened with Jeter's last contract. The press was in a tizzy but both sides knew they were going to make a deal.

Eli just needs to do it one more time. He is already a Hall of Famer but a third ring will really shut up the idiots who prefer losers like Aaron Rodgers. I think it will happen in his last year. Wait and see!

A book recommendation for you.

I would like to reccomend Dana Perino's new book about her experiences working for President George W. Bush. You might know her from her work on "The Five" and on Fox News. She is very good on both but her book is on a different level.

Here is a link to an except form the book. A short part of  that post;

"But there were exceptions. One mom and dad of a dying soldier from the Caribbean were devastated, the mom beside herself with grief. She yelled at the president, wanting to know why it was her child and not his who lay in that hospital bed.

Her husband tried to calm her and I noticed the president wasn’t in a hurry to leave—he tried offering comfort but then just stood and took it, like he expected and needed to hear the anguish, to try to soak up some of her suffering if he could.

Later as we rode back on Marine One to the White House, no one spoke.

But as the helicopter took off, the president looked at me and said, “That mama sure was mad at me.” Then he turned to look out the window of the helicopter. “And I don’t blame her a bit.”

One tear slipped out the side of his eye and down his face. He didn’t wipe it away, and we flew back to the White House."

#97 in a series about why TV is superior to movies!

What a good TV series can do is take  you away and bring you to a new place you have never been and most likely will never visit. I know that you will say that a movie can do the same but its effect is finite and over way to quickly. A movie has at most two hours to paint in the details and still tell a story. A long running TV series can sketch in so many more details that gives you a real feeling for the setting in a way that a movie almost never does.

Now the setting might not be a place you ever want to go. I wouldn't want to hang with the corner boys in Baltimore while a drive by is going on but it is totally engrossing and interesting. The story arch of the young kids in school who were being integrated into the drug trade was particularly engrossing. In the wire there were a couple of characters who really took you into the heart of that lifestyle. Dookie who was an innocent who was destroyed by the maelstrom that is drugs and Michael who went from a caring brother and friend to as stone cold killer and drug lord are just two people you meet and get to know. You get to see the development over several weeks and years in a way that a movie could never do in the short time it has available. I am of course speaking of "The Wire" which is just about the best television series ever produced.

The places you can visit can also be much more benign. I love to watch a long running series and be transported to a locale far away from my troubles and concerns. A small Cornish fishing village called Portwenn in "Doc Martin." The Florida Keys in "Bloodline." A picturesque Caribbean island called St Marie in "Death in Paradise." The East End of London in "Call the Midwife." The underbelly of LA in "Harry Bosch." The mud filled thoroughfare of the Old West in "Deadwood."

All places I have never been and will most likely never go. But I can experience them and live vicariously through characters who I come to learn about and even care about as they go through their own lives. It transports me from my own reality and into theirs if only for just a little while. In the way that a flash bang movie never could.

A movie is a Poloroid. A good TV series is an oil painting.