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To: Geraldo Rivera
From: Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton
Re: Fund Raising

Dear Jerry.

I can call you Jerry. I want to talk to the rich Jew side of you not the slimy Puerto Rican side. That kind of man will kill your brother.

Anyhoo I have to let you know that I really need to raise some money to pay for my campaign bills. Bill and I have been trying to scratch by on a few million of dollars a year and we don't want to use any of that to pay my campaign bills. Since your great success on the Celebrity Apprentice  I know you would be great at raising money for my campaign. I know I can count on you.

Call me.

Toodles,
Hillary