From: Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton
Re: My Campaign
Hi Candy. Long time no see.
As you must know I have announced that I am running for President and I want to get all my ducks in a row. I want to be sure you are on board. Just like you were on board for the three-way we had with Bill in college. I remember those days fondly although it was I first developed my antipathy to Bush. I hope you have been doing some grooming since those far away days of yesteryear.
In any event I expect the same help in the debates that you gave to Obama. That right wing douche Hugh Hewitt is going to be there and trying to make it fair. We can't have that. If the Republican is scoring any points you need to intervene and throw him off track by spouting lies and nonsense to confuse him and defuse the situation. I have enclosed some videotapes of the Grand Wizard of Wrestling serving as a referee in a match between Bruno Sammartino and the Iron Sheik. Use his performance as a guide. Especially the part where he threw salt in the Living Legends eyes.
Otherwise I might have to put some photos on the Internet. Who wants that?
Toodles,
Your Pal
Hillary
PS. I am still spitting out hairs. Get a trim girl. Seriously!
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