Friday, April 17, 2015

Hands Up....This is American Idol



So did you see the last American Idol telecast?

It was down to the top six. They have a new gimmick where the contestants sit in chairs that are surrounded with red lights. When they are chosen to go forward the lights turn green and they go out to perform. They have a new wrinkle where the last two people in the poll compete for the audience "twitter save." Now this is a bummer for the people sitting there when everyone else goes up to sing and you are a loser waiting for the sing off. It reminds me of the NBA or NFL draft where these kids go to the venue and wait and wait to get picked. That must suck.

Anyway it gets down to the last three. Joey who is the white hipster girl who dresses weird and plays the accordion and sings in a super-effected Betty Boop style voice. Ravyon who looks like John Legend and is a very smooth but weak singer. And Quentin the resident angry black man.

Quentin was called and got to sing. Now Quentin is all about the costumes and the attitude. The dude can't sing. He hasn't been in tune once in the entire competition. But the judges continue to mark on a curve and sort of practice American Affirmative Action Idol. Now don't get me wrong. Most of these idiots can't sing in tune. But Quentin is the worst still remaining and nobody is really telling him except Harry Connick Jr.

Now Harry is really the only judge since Simon who has any musical knowledge. In fact he used to cite chapter and verse as to what these kids need to do to improve. Until he was told to dial it back because the audience is just as stupid as the kids singing and don't want to hear what a vibrato is and just want to clap like seals on meth. Every once in a while Harry forgets and says what he really thinks. He did it this time when he told Quentin that the band overpowered him and his pitch was off again. Quentin was pissed and had his bitch face on.

Then of course little fanoick Ryan Seacrest had to make it worse. He asks him what does he think about the two people left to compete for the save. Quentin scowls and says "It's Whack." He goes on about how it is ridiculous that they have to go and how messed up is all is. Then he stalks off.

Now Harry doesn't like this. So he asks if they are still live and says hey this is a competition show and somebody has to go if they want to eventually have a winner. Thats what you sign up for and by bad mouthing the process you are attacking the show that is giving you a big opportunity and being basically disrespectful to the process.

"SAY WHAT!!!! NO YOU DIN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Quentin comes out and walks across the stage right next to the judges table and gives Harry the stare down. Like he was going to play the knock out game. The angry black man standing up to the white power structure. You know. The usual bullshit. The freaking guy can't carry a tune in a bucket and should never have gotten this far. But they carried him for "diversity" and "inclusion." What a load of crap.

Here you check it out and tell me what you think.

Now Harry backed down big time which I thought was bogus but what are you going to do. He should have said "Hey if was not these two then who do you think should be in the bottom two. Because I think you should because you can't sing and should be gone." But they covered it up with some mealy mouthed nonsense. It was very awkward and uncomfortable. This is what America has become. We have to baby and placate militant idiots who can not handle the job. Instead of merit we have to mark on a curve at all times.

So many great singers were let go to let this moron through. This chick Hunter Larsen was cut and she was not only a great singer but had a great set of knockers. Check it out:

They let this chick go so this surly douchebag could be on my TV. I mean they could even have picked the skinny hipster bitch.

What a messed up world we live in.

15 comments:

rcocean said...

That was great. To honest, I'm more a Lawrence Welk/jazz/classical music kind of guy. The music on AI just doesn't appeal to me.

But yes, the girl was much better than Quieten.

rcocean said...

"...and don't want to hear what a vibrato is and just want to clap like seals on meth."

Great line.

Aridog said...

Trooper...you may not realize it, but you perform a valuable service for me. Were it not for you and your impressive knowledge of the entertainment medium of television, I'd not know anything about what shows are on where or what they do or don't do.

I thank you sincerely for this service & exposure to those things I seldom if ever watch. And that is NOT sarcasm.

ndspinelli said...

I think Trooper is WAY to invested in trash TV. But, to each their own.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I haven't watched American Idol since Jordin Sparks won.

That year there was a cute constant whose topless pictures were put up on line for all the world to see.

Her performance suffered after that.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I think Trooper is WAY to invested in trash TV. But, to each their own.

In Troops defense, it's good to know where the culture is at.

Somebody has to get their hands dirty.

Speaking of the devil. Arod is on fire. He is having his revenge.

ndspinelli said...

The Yankees SUCK! We took Amtrak to the Royals v Angels game last Sunday. I need to compile a new list, but I think that was my 27th MLB park. Tomorrow we are going to the Rockies v Dodgers game, making Dodger Stadium my 28th MLB park, and the one I have wanted to visit more than any other. Here's an interesting fact about current MLB culture. Dodger Stadium is the 3rd old MLB park, and Angels the 4th oldest, behind Fenway and Wrigley.

Trooper York said...

Hey Trash TV is a lot better than fighting with Inga across the Internet. Just sayn'

Trooper York said...

TV is the lingua franca of America. Normal regular people watch TV. They watch stuff like the Real Housewives, American Idol and Dancing with the Stars.

You don't have to watch TV. I have enjoyed popular TV since I was a kid in the 1960's. Then it was Westerns like the Rifleman and Bonanza or sitcoms like the Munsters or I Dream of Jeanie.

They were the equivalent of Idol or Housewives. Not highbrow PBS homo crap.

I am a proud TV watcher.

Trooper York said...

You know what sucks?

Movies. All commie crapola. Even the superheros movies are turning into politically correct shit. The new Fantastic Four movie made the Human Torch a black dude.

Movies suck big time.

ndspinelli said...

Says the man who doesn't watch movies. Telepathic Trooper York.

ndspinelli said...

I don't watch those superhero flicks. I'm not 14 years old. But, I have gotten to know a stunt man who does. I hang out @ a coffee house in San Diego. It's owned by a guy from Florence. He is a real dago and attracts lots of Italians. All you hear is Italian some days. Anyway, this stunt man hangs there. He's originally from Chicago and got into stunt work on The Fugitive. He worked other flicks and then realized he had to go to LA if he wanted to make it a career. Lot's of great stories, mostly about hustling his way onto sets, acting like he belonged there, and just weaseling his way into jobs. He worked steadily for ~10 years but got tired of the hustle and went to work doing audits for the govt. on failed banks. This past winter he decided to give stunt work another shot. They are filming another superhero flick, he told me which one, but again, I'm an adult. The flicks being shot in Atlanta. He said it will be brutally hot, but a long gig. I used to hang out in bars and meet interesting people. Now, it's mostly coffee shops, bars on occasion.

Trooper York said...

I watch the trailers of most movies that come out on pay per view.

Most of the good stuff in a movie is often in the trailer.

They almost uniformly suck Moose Cock. I wouldn't pay a dime to watch them. Not Ben Affleck or Brad Pitt or Sean Penn or Mat Damon or any other Hollywood communist douche bag. The slob comedies of Jed Apatow and rocom bullshit just doesn't cut it. The only people who makes semi-decent flicks these days are Jason Straham and Kevin Costner and they are both hit and miss.

Trooper York said...

You don't invest in a TV show in the same way you do in a movie. If you go to the movies it is very freaky expensive. To sit with your feet stuck to the floor because somebody spilled soda on the floor and you have to deal with a bunch of monkeys screaming at the screen. Fuck that noise.

With TV you catch a little and if if sucks you turn to one of the other 100 channels you have to pick from. You are in the comfort of your own easy chair with your own snacks and a
clean fucking bathroom. You can freeze it, pause it, let it sit for a moment. Or rewind it if you missed something or didn't understand what is happening. Now with Netflicks you can binge watch a good show.

No movie in the last ten years was as good as "The Wire" or "Deadwood" or "Game of Thrones."

Aridog said...

Trooper...just to show my barbarian side, old as dirt, would it surprise you that among my favorite movies are "Bronco Billy" and "Paint Your Wagon" ...both just made me feel good. Why else to watch, eh? I'd add "Pal Joey" to cover the older bases...most modern stuff just doesn't get me, or me it, or whatever.

No doubt that your periodic remarks about television is helpful to me...a kid who never saw a TV until 1954 or so. I liked the simple sit-coms and the usual kid stuff. Today, I watch mostly news or topical animal shows...or read books. Yeah, I'm that boring :-)