MamaM said...
Rata-tit-twat!SonM came home from the Farm Store this week with a story about a customer who was in looking for a way to get rid of woodpeckers. The guy didn't know what to do because he'd let loose with a shotgun on a woodpecker that was drilling holes in his 130 year old pole barn and thought he'd taken care of the matter, when according to him, the very next day "this big assed woodpecker shows up".
Rata-tit-twat!SonM came home from the Farm Store this week with a story about a customer who was in looking for a way to get rid of woodpeckers. The guy didn't know what to do because he'd let loose with a shotgun on a woodpecker that was drilling holes in his 130 year old pole barn and thought he'd taken care of the matter, when according to him, the very next day "this big assed woodpecker shows up".
Now, in addition to the smaller Hairy and Downy Woodpeckers, our area is host to a 16-19 inch version called the Pileated Woodpecker. A big assed woodpecker the size of a crow. Chances are this is what he saw and he was spooked, thinking the King of all woodpeckers had come back to haunt him and finish ruining his barn. Especially since it was "a fast bastard" that kept flying off whenever he'd come out with the gun, before he could get a shot at it.
Hanging CD's near the area where these birds are pecking is one way of discouraging them naturally, but there was a long pause when this was suggested...followed by the plaintive delivery of words that delineate country from true country, "But I don't got any CD's".
He was hoping for some Woodpecker specific poison to smear on the barn and take care of the bird once and for all, while whatever is luring the woodpeckers continues to consume his wood.
What he can do is hang an inflatable woodpecker with some poison smeared on it's little inflatable mouth and his little inflatable anus.
That's how they got rid of Jeremy.
It's even better than one of those sticky glue board thingy's. Just sayn'
12 comments:
J you are not welcomed here. Your posts will be deleted as soon as I see them. Please take all of your wit and wisdom over to Althouse where your contribution is valued and where you are an important part of her commenting community. You ilk is not welcome here. Take your antisemtism, antimormonism and your homophobia to a place where it is esteemed.
UNNNCCCCLLLLEEEEEAAAANNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do Woodpeckers do Oral?
If so, that may be dangerous.
Anyone who would kill a Pileated woodpecker is not only stupid and immoral, but a criminal as well. The birds are just after the insects that are infesting the old wood. Get rid of the insects and the problem is solved. Must be a city slicker or something...
It might be more than going after insects, woodpeckers also have a behavior called 'drumming' - which is exactly what you think it is. It announces territory and displays vigor in attracting a mate. I'll bet that old pole barn in the story makes a tremendous echo and our bird feels like he is the strongest stud in the world-just sit back and watch the babes come rolling in. (I know, it sounds like the OWS boys in their bongo circle)
Trooper: thank you for deleting J--a genuine douchebag--sorry he has infected your blog with his vitriol.
Good job, Trooper
The woodheaded redpecker is the real star of the sliver screen.
Nice story, MamaM!
Thanks, chickenlittle. Rare and generous is a nice combination in a bird. Trooper's sidebar makes MrM laugh as he considers worse things than splinters.
From farmers with wisdom to rubes without a clue, the stories that come home from the Farm Store reflect perspectives as unique as those on this blog.
I don't care for red hog bush.
I like my bush dark.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
I'm trying to figure out if that saying has anything to do with this conversation.
I'm trying to figure out if that saying has anything to do with this conversation.
That saying is a sop to onanism and shouldn't be taken seriously.
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