Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Deep Thoughts........by Titus


Titus said...

I think it is interesting how people have a thing for trees.

There was a big dustup recently that I heard on the news where this woman, who was getting stoned blew up this really old tree somewhere-I believe in Florida.

People were really pissed.

My parents love their pine and blue spruce trees. I planted them with my dad at his farm and at our house when I was like 10 and now they are fucking huge and beautiful.

In the winter the birds that stick around hang out in them.

And don't get me started with the birds, my dad is fucking crazy about all the birds in the backyard. He feeds them, changes their water, has special bird bathes. Names them. Knows which birds are "coupling". And when the humming birds come back he is in heaven. People really love birds.
My Mom hates birds. You see she had a bad experience with them on her honeymoon in San Fransisco and ever since she has been afraid of them. Of birds. And birds in trees. And of Suzanne Pleschette.

I think it nice people like birds and trees.


tits.

81 comments:

Chip S. said...

She probably TP'd the trees in the neighborhood to scare away the birds.

The Dude said...

We used to vacation at Bodega Bay State Park, years ago. Bodega Bay is a nice town. The school house is about 6 miles from town, so the children who were attacked there had to hike for a long time to show up in town, just sayin'...

chickelit said...

I've been to that town too, just to look for remaining evidence from the film. The school house looks converted into a private residence.

The Dude said...

When I was there most recently, which was probably around '88 or so, the school house was an antique store or something.

Beautiful country around there - I really miss that.

ndspinelli said...

The Birds starred two beautiful women, Tippie Hendren and Suzanne Pleshette. It's one of my fav Hitchcock flicks w/ Rear Window being my alltime fav. Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly were magnificent and a very spooky Raymond Burr in a silent role.

Titus said...

That seemed to be the era of pointy tits. All the women in that movie had em pointy. Even Jessica Tandy.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

We have a lot of trees on our property as well as a pretty nice orchard. Many mature apple trees (some over 30 years old Golden Delicious, some kind of red apples and Granny Smith), several black cherry, one huge pie cherry, Santa Rosa Plums, Italian plums, peaches, quince and several wild plum trees.

A couple of years ago, we let our nephew at the age of 5 get on the backhoe and dig a hole where we transplanted an Italian Plum tree. It is getting quite big now, the tree AND the nephew. We call it Wyatt's tree and when I make jam and send it to them that is on the label too. Wyatt's Plum Jam. He thinks it is pretty cool.

In a few years, we will do the same for my grandson.

Trees are cool because they last so long. Like Titus' Dad....we feed the birds....the moochers.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Oh...forgot about the pear trees too.

We are running out of room
:-D

Anonymous said...

No fruit trees on my lot, wish I had planted some years ago. I've got two beautiful huge old birch trees that I've had to have innolculated twice now for Emerald Ash Borer on the front lawn. One tree almost didn't make it through last season. It would be heartbreaking to lose them.

In the backyard there is a huge old weeping willow,I love that tree. In the back of all the lots along the lake on my side of the lake is wetlands, very pretty, lots of wildlife and a breeding ground for mosquitoes. No sitting in the backyard in the evenings.

In front I get full sun from morning to evening, which is great because it warms up a chilly morning for the ones who want to take a swim or fish off the pier. No better place for an early cup of coffee, I have a bench on the pier and a magnificent view.

My garden is a winter mess and I've been working on cleaning it up for the past few days. I've got a row do raspberries and the grandkids go out in the morning and get a bowlful in season for everyone's breakfast.

On one side of my lot I've go a row of huge mature blue spruce and a greener variety, don't remember what they're called. The other side of the lot I've got a couple massive oak trees and some elder I think, or are they ash?

Anonymous said...

Row of raspberries, with little green worms. I hate the idea of spraying, there aren't that many worms anyway, just have to be careful when washing them off before eating. My 11 year old granddaughter get grossed out but still eats the raspberries, lol.

chickelit said...

When I was there most recently, which was probably around '88 or so, the school house was an antique store or something.

I was there in '96 or '97. It looked like a private residence.

Titus said...

I would love to go there.

It looks beautiful.

blake said...

Somehow, when I read these, I suspect editing.

You see, the editor has certain tells...

Anonymous said...

Blake what do you mean by edited? What do you think was edited, please do tell, I'm curious.

chickelit said...

This post has been removed by a blog administrator

Anonymous said...

?????

Anonymous said...

OK curiosity is killing the cat, who did the desiring , what was edited and why? I hate mysteries.

Anonymous said...

Damn autocorrect, editing, not desiring. Maybe my iPad is getting frisky.

chickelit said...

Allie, I can't speak for blake.

Titus said...

I read somewhere that tree fart and breath.

Wow.

tits.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Why not?!! Just kidding I didn't expect you to.

Anonymous said...

What's with that Micheal guy on Althouse, what an abusive prick. I remember him being after me time after time back when I was posting there a lot. Today he attacked May Bee a conservative, he is an equal opportunity abuser at least.

But what a damn jerk, but I guess he likes you Allen.

The Dude said...

That's nice.

Anonymous said...

I'm just the Suzy Sunshine of good news:)

The Dude said...

Meade is gay.

Anonymous said...

I thought so.

Titus said...

Allie, live is too short.

Please for your own sanity, stop the madness, move on, and don't dwell on people who you have no idea who they are.

It is vicious over there and not worth your time or energy.

Why do you care what "Michael or Curious George" say? Do you have any idea who they are and do they know you or have any impact on your life?

Anonymous said...

Titus, you are a wise man. No I shouldn't care, I don't really know if I do care, but human nature is very interesting, people are interesting, and I'm nosy. You make a valid point though Titus, and I will do some self reflection.

Titus said...

Allie you are a very nice lady and all I am saying is it is not worth it.

Althouse's blog thrives on confrontation, that's how it get hits, which really isn't that interesting in the Grand Scheme of Life.

A bunch of strangers going off on each other is really not what life is about-and I am/was guilty of it as well, but try to do better and just have fun. You could just as well sit in a traffic jam for fun for three hours.

tits.

Anonymous said...

Well , I'm glad you are over here Titus.

It's kind of like rehab. I relapsed, but it was only for a short time. You are so right it is a waste of time and a waste of emotional energy. Thanks for caring, you're a very sweet human being. Im trying to not make bad Karma, but it's hard. We can only keep trying right?

chickelit said...

Have another rum and coke, Oop. And forget about them.

Titus is right. Plus you should only engage people you trust over there. I think the place is filled with shysters.

Anonymous said...

Chickie, I really do NOT drink. I used to enjoy a rum and coke or beer, but it's really not on my diet, it's full of calories and carbs.

Anonymous said...

Trust, who to trust? So many sockpuppets and people who have things to hide, not even for any really good purpose.

chickelit said...

Trust

I mistrust teatotalers--unless they're running for President.

Anonymous said...

I still eat chocolate, better than alcohol and most other activities.

windbag said...

Row of raspberries, with little green worms. I hate the idea of spraying, there aren't that many worms anyway, just have to be careful when washing them off before eating. My 11 year old granddaughter get grossed out but still eats the raspberries, lol.

My mother-in-law is a saint. When she was a teenager, she visited a couple of elderly aunts. They served her some blackberries they had picked in the back yard. There were worms crawling on them.

She knew that the old ladies couldn't see them, and that they would be distressed to know what they had done. She also figured that they would be forever second-guessing themselves if they knew how bad their eyesight had become.

So, she said nothing and ate them. She said it was pretty gross, but in the bigger scheme of things, it really wasn't going to hurt anyone. Why make two old ladies worry about something that wasn't all that important?

MamaM said...

Planted our live Christmas tree this weekend where it joins the ranks of 9 others on the perimeter, all of which provide shelter for birds. We've had a few that didn't make it but for the most part, the switch from cut to live has been a good one.

For chickenlittle with regards to the preponderance of shysters: The etymology of the word is not generally agreed upon. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary says it is based on the German Scheißer (literally "defecator" but also used to refer to deceivers),[1] but the Oxford English Dictionary describes it as "of obscure origin", possibly deriving from a historical sense of "shy" meaning disreputable.

Titus said...

Hi MamaM!

I took the day off today because it is going to be 80.

Going to the beach with the rare clumber.

We will likely hold each other as the tides wash up against us like in that movie with that hot actor.

tits.

Titus said...

Tits Up today Allie.

That's what I say to my girlfriends if they feel down.

Walk out that door with tits up!

Think Wonder Woman.

Anonymous said...

LOL, Titus, OK tits up it is! My Johnny Jump Ups are up too, so cute bordering my garden. I'm so tempted to Lang a few seeds, but Mother Nature will just laugh at my attempts if we have another freeze, which is entirely possible.

Have a good day at the beach with your Rare Clumber, give him a wet slobbery kiss from Allie.

Anonymous said...

Plant.

Darcy said...

I trained my black Lab not to give me wet, slobbery kisses! She was so good about it, too. You could tell she was dying to, but she would just give me little licks on the chin. (And hugs - paws around my neck and her face against mine!) What a great dog. So smart! She knew that my son didn't mind the kisses, so she would slobber all over him. :)

Miss her so much...

Darcy said...

NTTAWW wet, slobbery kisses...

BJM said...

@MamaM

Friends have planted live Christmas trees for over forty years. They now have an evergreen forest on the windward side of their garden...each tree has a small date plaque...so many memories.

Our place is on a steep hillside and the previous owners let it become overgrown with blackberries, poison oak, thistles and invasive plants. There are many mature live and valley oaks. A few of the live oaks at the top of hill near the house are 250+ years old. We ran an above ground low voltage lighting system and at night the gnarled branches are magical.

I'd love to have a small fruit orchard, but effectively fencing the property isn't feasible and deer are almost as plentiful as squirrels...so we're slowly restoring the native understory and let them munch away. The sunny spots are ablaze with yellow mustard this week.

MamaM said...

The Many Tits of Titus

The Three Tits of Titus

Titus and the Unpinched Tit.

Tits Up with Titus:
Perky Advice and Encouragement for Laydees of All Walks and Persuasions.

TitusEyes! A fresh look at what's out front, up close and personal.

Anonymous said...

Darcy, ha, yup, just depends on which "dog" is doing it.:)

chickelit said...

Plant

Page

chickelit said...

Thanks for the "shyster" etymology, MamaM. They all fit.

chickelit said...

Darcy, for a second I thought you had gotten another dog.

Darcy said...

Nopes. We're still heartbroken. :(

Chip S. said...

bow-wow

Chip S. said...

↑ Inspired by Allie

chickelit said...

The ugly weather seems to have broken out here. The winds sent it along east for your enjoyment.

clouds

chickelit said...

@Darcy: That makes me sad too.

Anonymous said...

Chip, I have a faint memory of a guy in Harvard Square, I met at the Irish Pub. He kind of reminded me of a Cocker Spaniel, sweet mournful eyes, long ears and a bit slobbery.

Chip S. said...

I'm not surprised, Allie. That sounds like just about every guy in an Irish pub.

Anonymous said...

Now that you mention it , that does sort of describe my new love interest, the little Irishman.

chickelit said...

The guy a foot shorter than you?

Trooper York said...

This guy goes to the doctor and says "Doc it hurts when I bend my neck like this."

So the Doctor says "Well don't bend your head like that and it won't hurt. Problem solved."

Anonymous said...

No Chickie, that would make him a Leprechaun! An inch, what's an inch?

Anonymous said...

Trooper, with my little Irishman I would never have to bend my neck.

chickelit said...

Give him an inch and he'll make a smile.

chickelit said...

@Trooper: Are you talking about cervical craning?

ricpic said...

Did Suzanne Pleshette have to die because she was a threat to Tippi Hedren? Let's not forget this is a Hitchcock film and Tippi Hedren is the ice queen who brings disaster with her wherever she shows up. Of course Hitchcock has it both ways: he writes in a hysterical woman who accuses Hedren of being the cause of the bird attacks and then he has Hedren slap her. But he's put the suspicion in our heads.

chickelit said...

I don't know Ricpic.

Speaking of "The Birds," the Mrs Bundy character always reminded me of Cedarford and other "learned" know-it-alls over there. Check it out. link

blake said...

Allie--

Not snubbing you (or anyone) but without comments subscription I only see new comments here when I think to stop by.

I was joking about the editing. Troop takes comments and then makes a little change to them, like the whole riff on "The Birds" here.

Also, "tits up" means dead. I don't think I'd try to use it to cheer people up.

I get that one. I've never understood "off [one's] tits" meaning crazy.

Anonymous said...

Whaaaat? Titus wishes me dead?! Say it ain't so Titus.

No I didn't think you were snubbing me, just busy. So Troop does some creative editing? Ah, now I get it.

You don't say o_O.

ricpic said...

My hunch is that Titus, who avoids the "gross states" full of bitter clingers like the plague, doesn't know the meaning of tits up.

Titus said...

I thought I coined tits up, and actually I did, because my tits up doesn't mean "dead" tits up.

My tits up are similar to head up, as in be proud and dignified, but do it with your tits.

I have never heard of dead "tits up" but my dad did used to say "it's colder than a witches tit"-never understood that.

Are witched tits cold? What if the witch is hot though? I did a witch in Salem once, not great, we did it by the Bewitched Monument-which the city hates. He had a hot body but I am not into role playing. I am just like...let's just cum, ok?

tits and tits up.

How you doing mamam? I would be happy to offer you some inspirational words of wisdom too if you are feeling down and blue.

tits.

Titus said...

Did you guys know there was tons of controversial in Salem regarding the Elizabeth Montgomery statute?

The "real" witches in Salem were fucking pissed because they felt like the statute made light of their religion and "being". They protested and stampeded city board meetings and put hexes on officials and everything.



I really didn't give a shit.

Salem is kind of fab though. Great restaurants and The Hawthorne Inn allows rare clumbers.

tits.

chickelit said...

When did they stop calling male witches warlocks? Is this Harry Potter's fault?

I think it's demeaning for a man to called a witch.

Sort of like calling a man a bitch.

MamaM said...

@BJM Enjoyed your post. There is no tree that compares to an old oak when it comes to established mass and creatively balanced branching! The ones in our area (MI) pushed off their winter collars of dried leaves this week.

Counted 16 wild turkeys in the yard this morning, three of them males puffing out, spreading their tail feathers in a fan, turning and gobbling at the slightest noise. Even though they've been hanging around for several years, this is the first I've seen them in full display.

Titus said...

Do turkey's have hogs MamaM?

And if so do they hang low...sweet chariot.

I wouldn't mind cuming to your home, with your invitation, natch, and shoot those turkey's and then you can make me dinner woman.

tits.

Titus said...

fyi-mamam, I have been told I am an enchanting and stimulating dindin companion....if that turns you on?

They always want to do me after dindin.

A fact, even though I am deeply insecure, I have always got laid after my first dindin with someone.

I always already did them before and don't remember them so it is kind of like a blind date so I am a wreck.

I always ask them, do I look like you remember? And they always say yes.

Isn't that sweet?

tits.

Titus said...

I don't know my current and permanent husband's name for 4 months.

I called him a different name for four months and finally he said my name is not Venkat.

I was like is it Sabu?

Anywhoo, we are still together and incredibly happy and love each other.

And isn't that what life is all about?

Give us our equal rights you red states!

MamaM said...

Ohhhh Titus, live and be jealous.

When toms-the name for male turkeys,
(much more direct and forceful
than Sabu or Vendab,
Boom! Tom! Like hammer to nail!)

When toms become excited
their heads turn blue!

But wait, there's MORE...
Their snood, the fleshy flap
on the bill expands
and the wattles and bare skin
of the head and neck
all become engorged with blood.

The other name for Toms? Gobblers!

Titus said...

I had a dream last night that I was riding my bike in a park and turkey's were chasing me.

They were mean and pissed.

tits.

MamaM said...

Creepy!

Were they gabbling anything that sounded like "Pluck You!"??

Turkeys have many vocalizations: "gobbles," "clucks," "putts," "purrs," "yelps," "cutts," "whines," "cackles," and "kee-kees." In early spring, male turkeys, also called gobblers or toms, gobble to announce their presence to females and competing males. The gobble can carry for up to a mile.

Almost as quirky as a blog.

Titus said...

The turkeys had long talons and were lunging for me.

I was afraid.

There were also some yaks in the park that were not nice either.

What does this mean?

tits.

Anonymous said...

Yaks with red hair?