Monday, March 12, 2012

My dearest Pat



Ever since I first saw you at the auditions for the "Dark Towers" I have thought of Thee and your alabaster Irish skin. When I think of Thee, Dick Nixon can only imagine your perky pink nipples poking out of your small round mounds. I would want Thee to come to your door with nothing on your sweet young body but your good Republican cloth coat. The wispy hairs of purest sandy blond hair on your virgin mound is never far from Dick Nixon's thoughts. I yearn for thee but if you will not reply than you will not have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.

Please write to me and let me know when I can see Thee. I can not eat my oatmeal for the yearning for your voice and Thy sweet touch on my five o'clock shadow. I will be away for a few days as I am going on a camping trip with a young Cuban boy who is a friend of mine.

But I will call Thee upon my return.

You dearest and most passionate friend,
 Dick Nixon.

20 comments:

Chip S. said...

Isn't "Nick Dixon" a great name for a PI?

chickelit said...

Nothing is butter in Thee from me

chickelit said...

I think Chooper is tranneling Titus in this installment.

Anonymous said...

Everything goes better with butter.

ricpic said...

They're always putting Nixon down
And mocking his love of Pat,
Then they to bed with weary frown
From loss of where virtue's at.


Yes, I'm back from a trip out west which was pretty much a bust but driving the weary way home I was listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio who kept insisting that if there were ever a time to refinance your mortgage what with historically low interest rates like lifetime historic this is it. So I went into the mortgage company office to speak to the mortgage lady and it's true! This is unbelievable but I can apparently make back the refi costs, well, the upfront part anyway, in about 3 months of reduced mortgage payments. So I'm going to do it! All is not lost and hope springs eternal and all like that. So if you've screwed up your life as badly as I have and don't own the house you live in at this late date you can at least refi and lighten the load.

chickelit said...

Thou, thee, thy (thine), they, them, & their make for nice pronomial declension.

I wonder how many can still properly deploy them?

The Dude said...

Check the Amish website - I am sure thems got it figured out.

Trooper York said...

This is a potential new series here. Dick's letters. It has everything you could want for my commenters. For political junkies it has Nixon. For my lady readers it has pure romance. And for Titus it has dick. Just sayn'

chickelit said...

And for Titus it has dick. Just sayn'

I dare you to run that up his flagpole.

Anonymous said...

Yes! A full package.

Anonymous said...

"We" ladies love full packages, of course I'm speaking for myself only.

chickelit said...

Glad to guy!

chickelit said...

[amended]

Glad to be guy!

chickelit said...

It gets butter!

blake said...

Nixon went camping with Ché?

chickelit said...

Ché was Cuban?

How do you get from Troop's post to somebody pitching a tent?

chickelit said...

Rat had a pack!
Ducky lick.

MamaM said...

The water is chilly and deep in this one, cold colors, plastic checked out look on her face and him "holding" her hand just so. Pat sat, while Dick ran.

Chip S. said...

Say, is he wearing a grey tie in that photo?

Totally tricked out.

Anonymous said...

Why yes, yes he is!