Thursday, April 30, 2009

Tsing Tao Mr. Jimmee!!!!!!!!!!


When I first started working as a baby accountant back in 1973 my first boss Eddie was an old school Jewish accountant who had two types of accounts: garment center firms and Chinese restaurants. Eddie was the king of Chinese restaurants and he had about twenty five different accounts. Of course in those days they paid $50 dollars a month and it was a big deal when we raised them to $100. When I was still in high school I would come with him in the summer time or on my free time to help do the books. Now we didn’t have no stinkin’ computers, we had pencils and green accounting paper and a giant adding machine which was a huge innovation at the time. He got all these restaurants because when a couple of waiters could save enough to open their own joint they would hire Eddy to do everything. We would get the corporation set up and had a hook with the liquor authority to get them a license in a couple of days and they were off to the rickshaw races. So whenever we came into one of these restaurants they would be all happy because they would want to ask question about how they could set up their own joint. You see in those days all of the immigrants wanted to start businesses and were the hardest working guys in the egg roll business. I am sure it is the same today and I think a lot of the anti immigrant yahoos should meet some of those guys who are more fucking Republican than they could ever be.

Now all of the Chinamen would call Eddie by two names. Kuài jì which means accountant and sounded like Quai-G-See. Or they would call him Mr. Eddie which made me laugh when I told them about Mr. Ed the talking horse. So they started calling him Mr. Eddie Quai-G-See. And of course they called me Mr. Jimmie even though I was just a punk kid. Now I was going there for years since I was about 14 years old and when I graduated college Eddie sold his firm to a couple of guys from the Big Eight Accounting firm who wanted to start their own practice and I came along with the copy machines and the file cabinets. Anyway I was always going to my favorite restaurant on the corner of 46th and Second Avenue. I would take the other guys from the firm to eat there. Sometimes the new guys would go with me as a training episode to learn how to do the books the old school way. We would get there in between lunch and dinner and rush to get all the bank rec’s and write up done before the dinner crowd got in. But the perks we used to have was that we would eat lunch there and occasionally have dinner before we went on a pub crawl up Second Avenue to all the pick up joints like Runyans and Jamisons and Fitzgeralds and what not. Anyway the big perk was that they would never ever charge me for beer. They served my favorite Chinese beer Tsing Tao which is a great Chinese larger that is perfect when you are having a spicy plate of Szechwan dumplings. Man dumplings and Tsing Tao were as good as you get. Of course it also gave me a new nickname, Tsing Tao Mr. Jimmee. When they saw me coming in the door they would start shouting that out and cracking a beer before I even got to sit down. My buddies loved that joint because of course we could drink a lot of beer. But we would also order tons of food because we were all big guys and ate two or three appetizers and two main courses apiece so the owners got their money and the waiters were tipped very well by drunken stuffed fat guys.

So this is a long and rambling story but I do have a point. I had to go see one of my old clients who is about 86 years old now. He used to love to go out for a drink when he would bring his taxes in. When my office was in the city we would hit one of the Irish pubs or this Chinese restaurant which was only two blocks from his house. He is too old to get out now so I had to go to his apartment to pick up the papers. And when I was finished I realized on was on Second Avenue only two blocks away from the restaurant. Now the wife doesn’t like greasy Chinese food because it upsets her and we usually eat Thai food now because it is a lot fresher and they don’t use MSG. But I thought to myself, hmmmmmmm. Maybe I can sneak into the restaurant for a quick plate of dumplings and a few Tsing Tao’s. I mean I haven’t been there in about five years because I never had a reason to be so far over on the East Side. I haven’t been doing their taxes for about fifteen years because we sold all the accounts because they were getting to be more trouble than they were worth money wise and audit wise and stuff. So I had kind of lost contact with them. So why not go in and say hello right? Well I walk the two blocks and mouth is watering and I am ready for the dumplings with the hot sauce and maybe a bowl of hot and sour soup and some egg rolls and Beef with Chinese Vegetables. I get to the store.

It’s a Turkish restaurant now.

That was thirty years no forty years ago man. Things change. The city changes. Things are different now.

So I walked to subway with slumped shoulders. I could still taste those dumplings. That hot and sour soup. And especially the Tsing Tao. When I got back home I went to Nelson’s bodega next door and bought a six-pack of Tsing Tao. We will be getting Thai food tonight and I will raise a glass to all those restaurant guys and most of all to Mr. Eddie Quai-G-See.

The world turns man.

16 comments:

dr kill said...

Just my point. Imagine if you were one of those jog-nazis or vegan-idiots or PETA-pussies.

Nothing could be more sad than a poorly lived life. But those fucks are so self-satisfied they don't even understand how to ever really live. I think it has something to do with being a born suburbanite.

give me the city or the country, nothing in-between.

Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

Years ago there was a great bar in Milwaukee named Louie's Ancient Chinese Tavern. Sometimes I would go there on Friday nights and drink Tsing Tao. After a while, Louie would usually cough up a free bottle or two and sometimes throw in a x-rated fortune cookie. Louie liked to play the Big Chill soundtrack quite a bit. I have great memories of drinking Tsing Tao and listening to "A Whiter Shade of Pale".

Penny said...

Change happens when the customers stop in every five years. The restaurant business is tough like that.

Peter V. Bella said...

One of my favorite Chinese joints is now a Starbucks. The city is fucking ruined. That was one great restaurant. The food was good, the beer was cold, and their lady cocktails; well one would knock the panties off a virgin.

The best part was, they ran a gambling hall. You went down the basement, through a tunnel under the alley and entered into the basement of some other building.

It was a fancy set up. Every kind of game and as long as you gambled, all the free booze you could drink. People from all walks of life and every culture and race would go there. You could be playing with an immigrant waiter or some millionaire.

This city is turning into suburbia so fast. I will bet King Richard the II will tear up a whole neighborhood in the middle of the night and build a golf course.

Demokrats. You can't hate them enough and you can't use their bones for soup.

I'm Full of Soup said...

Good story Trooper. My first job after college was as an auditor for a labor union. I worked in an office with five other auditors and the calculator tapes were streaming all over the room.

It was fun- a good learning experience.

Anonymous said...

I wonder what would happen if I could stop the world where I want to? Where/when would I rewind it and then hit the pause button? At least five years ago, to accommodate Trooper, that's a certainty. My earliest memory is from when I was fifteen months old. I don't recall being jaded then. Perhaps that's the place.

You can't go home again. Somebody should write a book about that, eh?

TMink said...

The world changes, but Tsing Tao is still the same!

"Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Ben Franklin

Trey

TitusSaysGoodmorning2U&U&U2 said...

In my book Eat This Not That it states that Kung Pao Chicken is the worst for you. Instead, when ordering from a Chinese Restaurant go with a light arugula salad with Ginger Prawns and lo cal, no fat balsamic dressing-two eye drops are more than enough.

Thank you.

Also, never ever order the Awesome Blossom at Outback.

Again, thank you.

I am here to help and I care.

thank you.

TitusSaysGoodmorning2U&U&U2 said...

YOur abs with thank you later on in the night when a hot guy is licking your stomach before he goes down to devour your hog.

TitusSaysGoodmorning2U&U&U2 said...

I care, I really do.

I am also super, thanks for asking.

Are you all living in the NOW today?

Are you all BEING?

thank you.

Darcy said...

Aww, Trooper! Great story. And...*hug* for you.

TMink said...

Double order of Kung Pao chicken for me.

Wait, make that a tripple.

Trey

TitusSaysGoodmorning2U&U&U2 said...

Trey, triple Kung Pao Chicken makes Triple Trey.

Now we don't want that do we?

Special Hugs.

blake said...

Love this stuff, Troop.

When I was growing up, everything changed so fast that it was impossible to get too sentimental about it.

But there are still a few places I miss. Reminds me of Michael.

"I saw the world's biggest cannonball. Mesopotamia. I wonder if it's still there."

"Mesopotamia isn't still there."

"Nothing lasts."

An Edjamikated Redneck said...

Out where I live (and I am talking Country- not as Country as it used to be, but what ya gonna do?) we used to have 6 bars in a mile stretch- with maybe 24 houses. You could literally buy a beer in the first bar, walk up the road while drinking it and hit the second bar about the time you hit the bottom of the bottle (all of 'em sold returnable longnecks).

Now we have 2 bars left in that same stretch.

It ain't my fault; I did my best to keep them in business.

Swifty Quick said...

I used to love Chinese food, one restaurant in particular, until I found out from a former employee that the favorite pastime for the cooks in the kitchen was flipping cockroaches onto the sizzling grill. Now not so much.