Friday, April 17, 2009

What, me worry!


Grusinskaya (bursts into their suite, with a vein pulsing in her neck): What have you done you stuttering strumpet? I notice everyone is whispering your name in the hotel lobby.
Miss Peggy Noonan (cowering on a settee, holding a whimpering dog): I fear a private conversation was overheard. I was talking to a friend and mentioned that the decline in our fortunes has caused all of us to rely on more simple pleasures.
Grusinskaya: What ludicrous tripe you moronic mousey twat! I still live my life to the fullest. My many admirers still shower me with champagne and caviar.
Miss Peggy Noonan: Even so. What do they say about your betrothal to the gardener?
Grusinskaya: How dare you question me! I can’t stand your empty headed babbling anymore you albino mongoloid. Just because I have become engaged is no reason for my admirers to stop worshiping at my altar.
Miss Peggy Noonan: But surely you are happy that there is someone special in your life. Some one to spank you when you come home at night. To tie you to bedpost with his bow ties and whip with his belt as he reads from the collected works of Edmund Burke. Oh George I miss him so. That filthy slant eyed chink stole him from me! That fucky sucky five dollar whore.
Grusinskaya: It is your fault anyway. No one is writing that crap anymore. People do not want to hear of the limitations that must make up their poor miserable existence. Ever since that Blackamoor has inherited the title of Baron the ways of commerce have been disrupted. Even the common serfs are upset. They are waving around tea bags for some reason. They shout and mingle in the road. It seems that the market for their goods and services has dried up.
Miss Peggy Noonan: That’s not the only thing that’s dried up.
Grusinskaya: What you chalk faced whore. I will rip your nipples off and feed them to the pigs.
Miss Peggy Noonan: Promises, promises.
Grusinskaya: You blowsy bitch, I told you never to gainsay me again……I will show you (She jumps across the table and begins to throttle the albino opinion maker)
Miss Peggy Noonan: Thisssss isss bullsssssshhhhhhitttttt!!!! (Cough, gasp, rattle)
Grusinskaya: Shut up you pervert…you know you are enjoying this!
Miss Peggy Noonan: Yooouu onlllly hurtttt meeee cccaaauuuse yoooouuu loooovvve meeeeee (She falls unconscious as her nipples come fully erect and her shift becomes damp).
Baron Felix von Geigern’s dog; (cowering on the setee as he urinates) Woof!
Grusinskaya: (under her breath) Pervert.
(Grand Hotel, 1932)

4 comments:

Penny said...

From Bush... to handsome gardeners...

I love it!

Damn Althouse is ALWAYS ahead of the curve.

Ron said...

David Mamet couldn't hold your Roget's my friend!

Penny said...

Blushing is a luxury.

dr kill said...

I think I know that gardener, His name is Willie Lickerbush.