What? Me Hitler?

I have not been blogging about the Celebrity Apprentice lately because I have been too busy but I want you to know it is craptastic to the max. You guys know the set up. Teams of celebrities compete in meaningless demeaning tasks that wouldn’t stress a two year old but these world famous douches can’t handle. Major league dickwads like Andrew Dice Clay and Dennis Rodman have already been eliminated. Now it is starting to get interesting.

The basis of all of these reality shows is conflict. Back stabbing. Personal attacks. Bat shit crazy behavior. In other words: Joan Rivers.

Joan (who I am convinced is Beelzebub) is playing the game with her demon spawn Melissa who happens to be on the opposite team for the past couple of weeks. On an earlier show Joan almost blew the devils botox out of moosh because she was trying to get the poker player Annie Duke to gang up on Brandi the big titty Playboy bunny to protect Melissa. I guess the old bat felt that Annie wasn’t tough enough because she went off on her like Hitler with the Jews. Which is pretty interesting because that is what Joan called Annie this week. Hitler. Seriously.

Now Annie Duke the poker player seems a very capable and smart player who actually watched the game before knows how to play. And she plays to win. She is bossy and opinionated and basically a bitch on wheels. In other words incredibly hot. At least to a man who can handle a woman as a peer and not as a doormat. She is very cute considering she has four kids and seems really smart and well prepared. In other words the polar opposite of Joan and Melissa.

The task this week is preparing a frozen dinner and Annie jumped right in and cooked not one but three different entrees for the team to choose from. Her ideas were right on as usual and in the boardroom she gives credit where credit is due. Last week she even gave major props to Rosemary’s….I mean Joan’s baby, Melissa. Which she didn’t have to do but she did it because Melissa picked out the jewelry for the auction and did a good job and she was very fair and complimentary. Which didn’t matter to Lucifer’s sister Joan who kept calling her Hitler and saying that Annie would spit on her mother to maker her down and other incoherent bullshit.

Annie cooks up these three dinners and babbles away charmingly. And she shows that she is a real cool broad who knows what’s what. She goes to Brandi “I am the total woman. I can cook quick meals to take of my kids, win big bucks on the poker circuit, and I give a great blow job.” Now that’s my kind of girl.

I have been reading the message boards on things like Television Without Pity and Joan Rivers is taking a beating. A lot of people are saying they would never buy her shit on QVC again after they saw what a crazy bitch she really was. I remember going to see Buddy Hackett in Atlantic City and he went on and on for a half an hour about what a cunt Joan was and how Johnny Carson hated her and stuff. Like they say the higher a monkey climbs up a tree the more of her ass you will see. Not that anyone wants to look at Joan’s ass.

Anyway, this past Sunday Hershel Walker and the golf lesbian got eliminated and the coming attractions show that there will be another big blow out. If you get a chance to catch the repeat of this episode this Saturday, you should tape it because it is very entertaining.