Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Dubious Case of the Dissappearing Douchebag.


My dear Holmes.
It is I, Inspector Lestrade who thought to call upon you again to inquire if you have been contacted in the case of the recent disappearance of Lord Douchebag. It seems he has still not contacted any of his former acquaintances and they have searched high and low for him with no result.

One had taken this photograph of a tenement in White Chapel where he was know to frequent prostitutes who he would dress up in costumes, force to smoke cigarettes and dance with him while he called them mommy. But it was a false alarm as this was not the proper Douchebag.

As I might have intimated to you before, his gardener is particularly exercised about this matter. Which normally would not be an issue but it seems that he has in fact married Lady Chatterley and has developed some influence at Court. The word has come down that I must continue with my inquires.

Once I again I beg to inquire if you have you been contacted to consult in this case? If so, perhaps I could drop by Baker Street to talk with you. If that is at all convenient please inform Dr. Watson who could pass on word the next time we meet at the club.

I hope all is well and that you are recovering from the unfortunate incident with the woman from the Red Headed league. I know she did not mean to beat you so badly. I hope you have recovered and will hear from you soon.

You obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
Scotland Yard
February 15, 1896

1 comment:

chickelit said...

I hope all is well and that you are recovering from the unfortunate incident with the woman from the Red Headed league.

Now I'm kinda glad I never get email.