Monday, February 15, 2010

Just the facts.


The city was Los Angles. The crime was harassment. I was working the vice squad out of the Ramparts Division. My name is Friday.

I was called to WKNBC to investigate a complaint by one of the sportscasters. A fellow who went by the name of Sergeant Thornton. It seems he was being harassed by another disc jockey from the same station. My partner Bill Gannon and I went to question him at the station.
“What seems to be the problem?” I asked.
“Hey daddio I don’t really know. This crazy broad keeps bringing up old disputes and replaying them on her show. Now that’s got to be pretty crazy! You dig” spouted the rotund sportcaster who smelled like beer and hot dogs.
“I think so. Just the facts please.”
“I gave you the facts jack. She is one crazy whyo you know what I mean chumley?”
“When did this happen?”asked Bill.
“Just recently man. I think she went off the deep end again. She is not just a talk show host. I think she works at a college and didn’t get her tenure or something. Anyway she is real whacky man and not in a good way.”
“I guess we should talk to her then?”
“Definitely man, that’s groovy. Hey I hear she likes to hang out with Mary Jane if you know what I mean. Maybe you can bust her and solve all our problems.”
“That remains to be seen. Thank you sir. Let’s go Bill.”
“You know Joe, I wish I was still in Korea. I was a colonel you know?”
“Right. Keep dreaming Bill. Go get in the car.”

7 comments:

Jason (the commenter) said...

Get those two to find Bissage!

chickelit said...

Maybe there should be a reward for Bissage?

Michael Haz said...

Bissage is its own reward.

chickelit said...

Careful there Michael- you might provoke a lecture on tautology from Jason. :)

ricpic said...

How about...bisque is its own reward.

Jason knows what tautology means? I could always substitute tautol soup for bisque. Sorry.

Jason (the commenter) said...

El Pollo Real: Careful there Michael- you might provoke a lecture on tautology from Jason. :)

Don't worry, I agree with with Michael Hasenstab. I heard somewhere that all the chemicals in the human body are worth something like thirty cents. I'd bend over to pick that up.

The Dude said...

Caught Dragnet this evening - guess who was on it - no, really, guess.

...

...

nope, that's not right

...

Okay, I'll tell you - O. J. Simpson. How about that, eh? He wanted to become a police officer. Really!

You can look it up - the episode is entitled "Community Relations: DR-10".

And now you know...