Saturday, November 12, 2011

Mr. Eddie kuài jì se


My first boss in accounting was my Dad's old boss. My Dad worked as an auditor for Irving Trust but to make extra money he used to do tax returns for people in the neighborhood. There were no computers in the 1960's and '70's and the forms were a lot simpler. You could go to the bank and get all the forms and instructions you needed for free. Then you would do the returns by hand. One copy for the government and one for you to keep. There was no such thing as a copy machine. You might do it with carbon paper but if you made a mistake you had to start over. So you just re wrote it. It was safer.

Then one year about 1970 my Dad got an after work job with an Public Accountant in the City. He would go a couple of nights a week and on Saturday to do tax returns. The way they worked it was one guy would do the return and the other guy would check it for addition and accuracy. Then there was a break through. They got a copy machine!

It was a "wet paper" copier. You would do the returns on stencil paper which was transparent. Then you would line it up with some treated paper and run it through a solution like a photograph. It would be exposed to light and come out soggy and dripping. You would lay the pages out to dry and then collate them and staple them together to send to the government. The machine was called a Bruning Copyflex. A xerox machine was something that you found in Governor Rockefeller's office not in an accountants joint.

I was about 12 years old and my Dad brought me to work with him. I would run the stuff through the machine and collate it and stuff and make coffee and sharpen pencils. My Mom would make these great big sandwiches that everyone would eat. Sausage and peppers. Meatballs. Chicken cutlets. Eddie was a Reform Jew who ate everything. He loved ham and sausages. And he loved my Mom's cooking. He was a very personable guy and had a great way about him. I was just a punk kid but I did notice that he had a lot of women as his clients. They all hugged him and kissed him and were overly affectionate with him. What I didn't get then is that he was banging them. Maybe not all of them. But a goodly amount of them. It was pretty funny. They would show up decked to the nines in fur coats and diamonds and tons of make up. Who wears a fur coat to get their taxes done?

One of them in paticular fascinated me. She was a knockout. Looked very much like Christina Hendricks except that she was a brunette. Everyone salivated when she came in with her fur coat. Eddie would close the door and get her information. He had to be pretty creative. You see she didn't have any reciepts or records. Just bank deposit slips. It wasn't till years later that I figured it out. She was a hooker. A high class hooker.

Just like Elaine Mardell in the Scudder stories. A sexy Jewish girl who made her way in the world depending on the kindness of strangers.

It's funny how art imitates real life.

I wish I could back and talk to Eddie and his client. I bet there are some great stories there.

3 comments:

chickelit said...

One of them in paticular fascinated me. She was a knockout. Looked very much like Christina Hendricks except that she was a brunette.

My aunt was like that--my dad's youngest sister. She was what they called a looker. She was blonde, but dyed red. Married 4 times. I have lots of stories, but I have a policy of only telling about the dead.

blake said...

I miss furs.

I mean that literally, not in the ironrailsironweights sense.

A woman in a fur is a sight to behold.

MamaM said...

Last year, MamaM bought a short fake fur that turns heads.

Actually the dog bought it after he chewed a hole in the pocket of her nice soft leather coat. She'd left a dog treat in the pocket and then left the coat and the dog in the car alone together. The incision was precise, but hard to mend. In his remorse he suggested something in fur, it being his preferred wear. MamaM momentarily considered skinning him, but since she was half responsible, decided she could have the best of both worlds and found a great new coat. Fun to wear and a sight to behold.