Sunday, April 5, 2009

No Man is a Staten Island.


Little did I know that the closest monastery to Brooklyn was not the beautiful Cloisters in upper Manhattan but a small Franciscan outpost on Staten Island. Now you know that I hate Staten Island but I was willing to endure for the health of my spiritual life. However my wife realized that I would not be around to cook her breakfast and rub her feet and perform my other husbandly duties so she took matters into her own hands. She got on the phone and gathered a crack commando team. Stella Stevens, Charo and the girls who shop with me on Saturday morning all donned ninja gear and invaded the monastery and spirited me away. The monks never knew what hit them.

I want to thank everyone for the kind words while I was away. It seems I get a lot more comments when I am gone than when I post ten times a day. I guess absence makes the commenter grow fonder. Although I will continue to fast and perform penitence during this Easter Week, I will attempt to amuse you with some brief fripperies.

13 comments:

Michael Haz said...

Aw crap. I just sent everyone home for a shower and now Himself shows up, and probably expecting that a lunch will be provided.

Talk to Ronski about lunch. He's got some 'splainin' to do.

Simon said...

No man is an island --
But no man is a sea
This overwrought display of emotion
Is all but drowning me

TMink said...

I am glad you have returned brother. I missed you.

Happy Palm Sunday.

Trey

TMink said...

And where did you get a photo of Johnny Rotten dressed like a monk?

Trey

ricpic said...

"However my wife...took matters into her own hands."

Yup. This spiritual stuff is fun as far as it goes. But it doesn't pay the rent!

P.S. Silly me. I thought you really meant it. So I did "a Trooper" on rh over at Althouse. All your fault.

Darcy said...

*hugs Trooper*

chickelit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I'm Full of Soup said...

The word "fripperies" has never been used on a blog until now! It appears you did your homework at the monastery. Welcome back Trooper!

Penny said...

Do you have any idea how grateful we are that you hate Staten Island? You big lug, you knew that before you went!

Next time you need some peace and quiet, walk around the block like the rest of us.

TroopLeftTitusTroopisameanieTitusisdevastated said...

After 3 day of bliss Trooper left me. He told me it was just a phase. He used me and abused me. We even planned to go to either Iowa, Massachusetts or Connecticut and get married. Plans were made, dresses were purchased, invitations mailed.

I am completely and totally destroyed. I can't even think of pie or Stella Stevens or Adrienne Barbeau or Charo without crying my eyes out.

I am a lover spurned.

And I am a shell of my former self.

Simon said...

*Hugs Titus.*

They tell me that the hurt goes away eventually.

Penny said...

Very true, Simon, but first Titus needs to go through his bitter period. Maybe if we hooked him up with some hog that had enough sense not to run off to Staten Island? Have any friends at Fire Island? That might work out better.

TroopLeftTitusTroopisameanieTitusisdevastated said...

Fire Island is kind of gross Penny, but not as gross as Staten Island.

I will be ok. I knew it was too good too last. I will look upon the past three days with fondness and joy.