I hate kids. They are such a pain in the ass. With their snotty noses and grubby fingers. Always with the poop and the piss in their pants. Get outa here for crying at loud.
The only problem is that the little bastards always love me. As do the Moms. They just hand me the snot nosed fuckers and I have to hold them and amuse them while they are shopping. I think they see a big fat fuck with a white beard and they think I am Santa Claus or something.
One of the girls from the neighborhood came in with Stella who reached with her chubby arms that she wanted me to hold her while Mommy got her Spanks. She knows two words. "Hi" and "Happy Birthday." Well maybe three words. So we had to amuse ourselves while Mommy shopped. "What are we never going to get Stella?" "Hi." "Right. Remember that."
10 comments:
Troopmudgeon is just an act. You love kids.
These days I love little kids too...they play with and entertain my dogs. I'm good with them being around...it's like rent-a-kids...when done I can give them back or send them home. Oh, and most of the young ones like 4 or 5 are braver around big dogs than most adults. Whats up with that?
Great Picture. Caption: Beauty and the Beast.
I should chirbit your voice as W.C. Fields.
I'm working on teaching my two year old grandson to yell BRAINS! when he is running around. I want the daycare people to think he may be a zombie.
aridog, Kids are much more instinctive than adults, as are dogs. I think that's their primal connection. Our culture beats the instinct out of kids and replaces it w/ pretense and horseshit. I unabashedly love kids and much prefer them and dogs to adults.
Wait 'til they find out you're a story teller, then watch your stock rise.
There was an interesting link over in one of the Dog Cafes, about a guy who issues the Marshmallow Challenge to different groups, asking them in eighteen minutes to build the tallest free-standing structure out of 20 sticks of spaghetti, one yard of tape, one yard of string, and one marshmallow. The marshmallow needs to be on top.
He found higher success rates with kindergartners than with CEO's, lawyers and business school graduates. The kids didn't spend time jockeying for power and they started with the marshmallow first, trying and failing with prototypes rather than attempting to design one grand structure and afix the marshmallow on top.
ndspinelli said...
aridog, Kids are much more instinctive than adults, as are dogs.
I think you are right (and you too MomaM vis a vis young kids). I've observed this fearlessness, not stupid or careless behavior, in several little ones. The Toughest baddest GSD I had long ago adored little kids (under 10) had a hands down best friend, the neighbor's precocious 5 year old daughter who when first meeting "Ike" said "please let me pet him" and with caution (and parental permission) I let her in the yard and she ran pell mell up to him and hugged him like a big teddy bear. This dog who though joggers were a food group, a sub-group of "adults" per se, turned his face to hers and gave he a big lick.
To his dying day only two people outside of Judi and I could handle "Ike" on a leash outside the yard...his little buddy "Lena," and Judi's mother, whose demeanor was wholly fearless, unassuming, and loving. When Judi's mom passed away "Ike" mourned, sitting by the front window for hours at a time watching for "Ann" to come down the street to see him in her trademark trench coat and babushka.
When Ike passed away we had a yard full of little kids all with flowers to lay at Ike's favorite spot. Perhaps not so unusual for kids...unless you consider that they all were/are Muslims. It was a big step for their parents to let them play with Ike...and some of the flowers came from florists...e.g., the parents bought them.
Over my lifetime I've seen this primal connection you refer to with little kids and dogs, horses, and cats. I just didn't realize what I was seeing I guess.
I had that happen once to me years ago on Sunset Blvd.
Little kid with thick coke-bottle glasses wanders out with his mom from a medical building.
Looks up at me and yells "SANTA!"
ari, There is a great book, called The Gift of Fear. It is written by a former cop who lived a horrible childhood. He talks about how kids have GREAT instincts but we pound it out of them. We pound out of people the ability to listen to their gut, to their anthropological instincts that were bred into us over the millennia. The book tries to reestablish our being in touch w/ those instincts. It is a great book to give to a girl, high school graduate.
Post a Comment