Joey Gallo's Lament

Joey Gallo sat in the back of the social club on President St with his brothers, Joe Jelly, Slappy and Sammy the Syrian. They were the brain trust of the crew. Such as it was. Well really Larry was the brains of the operation. Joey was the balls. Albert was the wild card.

“So are we ready or what” Joey asked? He directed it to Larry who had planned out the whole operation. “As ready as we are gonna be Joe” said Larry. “We are gonna grab them all at the same time. First we grab the old man when comes out of the liquor distributorship. Then that fat fuck Joe Mamaluk we grab outside of the Blarney Rose after he picks up his collections. A little bonus.  Then maybe Colombo when he is coming out of the Real Estate. We hit them all at the same time.” “That’s a lot a shit flying at the same time” Slappy rasped in his gravelly voice. He had been hit in the throat so many times he sounded like he was chewing rocks when he talked. “How the fuck we gonna pull this shit off? Do we even have enough bodies to pull this off?”

Larry sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I think we will be fine. Joe and me will grab the old man. He’s the most important. Slappy you and Sammy and Louie grad Joe Mamaluk and Joe Jelly grabs that greasy prick Colombo. Take Bobby B and Salvatore with you.  If there anybody with them you grab them up too. We have enough firepower to do it. None of them have the balls to fight it out. Except for the old man and he is old. Too old to be carrying a piece and too slick to get caught. So it should all go fine. We grab them up and take them to the factory down Lorraine Street like I told youse yesterday.”

“Sounds good to me” Joe said. He sipped at his espresso. “We do it tomorrow. We meet back here at noon to get ready. We hit them all around six. It has to be at the same time. But we grab the old man first. The others don’t mean a shit. The old man would sell his own son for a fuckin’ nickel. So we have to make sure we grab him up before the shit hits the fan.”

Bobby B sauntered into the club and walked up to the table. “Joey that mick fuck Kelly is sitting his ass outside in his car with that pig fucking partner of his. They have been there for an hour. At least.” “Fuck” Joey said. “That’s gonna be a problem. If he is staking us out how the fuck are we gonna pull this off? We need to get him off my ass.” Larry shook his head. “We don’t need this shit. We need a diversion or some shit like that there.” “How about we fuck him up? He ain’t going anywhere with a busted jaw” Slappy said. “I can just walk up behind him and sock him one. He will never know what hit him.” That was Slappy’s solution for everything. A sock in the jaw. Or a bullet.

“We ain’t gonna do that. We gotta be fucking suckle” said Joe Jelly. “You mean subtle you simple fuck” said Larry. “But for a babbo you still ain’t wrong. Hey isn’t that kid I gave the bag too the cops nephew or some shit?” “Cousin” said Joey. “But he is a good kid. I don’t want to fuck with him. We can find another way. Let me think about it for a minute.” “I got it. He has a bug up his ass about that mook Tringale. So let’s give him something on that. We get a mope to call him and tell him he got some information and that he wants to talk to him so he don’t have to skip town. Let him pretend to drop a dime and get that Mick fuck offa our ass.” “That could work” Larry said. “Who ya thinking?” “I got just the guy” said Slappy.

You had to pity the dumb fuck that he picked.