Sorry about that!

I have a full plate the next couple of days so the posting might be light. I will try to pop in now and again.

I must admit I love a full plate!

The Informer!

Katie Madden: Ah, Gypo, what's the use? I'm hungry, and I can't pay my room rent. Have you the price of a flop on you?
Gypo Nolan: No.
Katie Madden: What's the use? Ah. don't look at me like that, Gypo! You're all I got! You're the only one. You know that. But what chance do we have to escape? Money! Some people have all the luck! [Indicating the ad in the travel agency window]
Katie Madden: Look at that thing handing us the ha-ha! Ten pounds to America! Twenty pounds and the world is ours?
Gypo Nolan: What are you saying that for?
Katie Madden: I know that what you hate the most is a tout who runs to the Black and Tans. A git who betrays his mates. You can't do it Gypo, I would rather be a whore.
Gypo Nolan: But it's not for the money. They are my friends. My true friends. Not the ones I have been around with these past few year.
Katie Madden: Ah but Gypo, if you turn informer you should never darken my door again. You are dead to me.

Set me up a Peroni

Lately I have been laying off the stout because I do not want to become what that name implies. So the Guinness has been off the menu and I have been enjoying Peroni. This is an Italian imported beer and is a nice simple light larger. It is a great alternative to Heineken although some people think it is skunky. Now I think Heineken is too skunky for me so I am fine with Peroni. It's great with pizza or a veal parm sandwich.

Frenchy Fuqua's Shoe Blog

Yo blood how's it hanging?

I be living in Brooklyn these days so I had to go out to the Meadowlands to see my boys on the Giants play those lame ass Jets. Did you know that the Giants was the team that drafted my ass out of Morgan State back in '69. They traded me to the Steelers but I was always a Giant at heart.

I remember when I played in the Giants/Jets game. Then they had some real players. Joe Willie, Matt Snell, Emerson Boozer. And the boozers on the Giants like Tucker Fredrickson and Pete Gogolack. My boy Spider Lockhardt was on that team with me. I remember a hit he put on Don Maynard, damn my teeth still hurt from that.

Well it was the typical crappy exhibition game. The Jets hung on to win like that means something. I mean the Giants have won three Superbowls and the Jets haven't sniffed one since '69 so I guess they should celebrate this big win. For the Jets this is their Superbowl. For the Giants, the Superbowl is the Superbowl.

I went down to the locker room after the game to see the guys and the punk ass security wouldn't let me in. You believe that shit? I'm Frenchy Fuqua's Shoes man! What's up with that shit. It's just that these security guards are all protective and shit. Man I hope Eli gets that kind of protection when the season starts.

Oh and the Jets quarterback looked good. He seems like one wise Latina. Hah.

Hey you lowlifes.

Beer is running away with our poll. It is obvious that we are a blue collar beer drinking crowd here at Trooper York's.

Just drink responsibly. You don't want to end up in a bad situation ya know.

So sit back and pop a cold one and enjoy the games. The Yankees are in first place and headed to the series. The entire Mets team is on the disabled list. Boston sucks.

Did I tell you lately the Giants are gonna win the Super Bowl?

Catching up to More to Love

We have been catching up to "More to Love" which we have been watching on our DVR. They are down to a final four which is pretty funny. This last episode was horrible though. This one girl Christian was a hell of a mess. She was claiming she loved this douche who is the "Bachelor" named Luke. He is one swarmy fuck.

Anyway I think the winner will probably be this girl Malissa. That right. That's how she spells her name. I have misspelled it when I posted about it before and want to correct it before eagle eye busy bodies report me to the spelling police.

She should win because she is obviously the phoniest of the phony and that is what this show calls for in a winner.

I wanted to thank Cedarford.

I want to thank Cedarford for the nice words he said about me somewhere else this weekend.

And to thank him for this photo he emailed me.

He voted for schnapps. Unfortunately it is not on the list.

He is threatening to invade Poland.

Janis Joplin, Gloria Swanson, Dick Cavett

Hey per Palladian's recomendation.

Of course it is all about head.

The show was great!

Well the What Not to Wear show went great. You never know how it is going to turn out because it is all about the editing. They featured a lot of our private label from Olivia Harper and bought the green leaf dress and two tops. They also bought several pieces of jewelry and some handbags as well which is great because we think we have the best accessories on Court St. They also got some earnings and even Spanx.

There was a funny story about the Spanx. Spanx are a shaper (like a girdle for you old guys like Michael H) that is used as a smoother. Well they had her in the one that is so tight it looks like an ace bandage. It even has a pee hole because it is way too tight to keep rolling up and down every time you go to the bathroom. The saw how Teresa was grimacing through the whole shoot and when she had a chance she went into the dressing room with her to see if there was anything she needed or if we could help. She explained about how much she hated those Spanx. Well the wife told her she would never wear that particular model. Who would want to take a chance that the would be on themselves and smell like urine all night? She went out and brought back a pair of the micro fiber Spanx which smooth just as well but are a lot more comfortable. They are the ones we sell and are incredibly popular. Teresa put them on and went out and announced "I am wearing these from now on not the Ace Bandage."

The only fly in the ointment is that the pieces that they picked are already sold out! You see we do limited fabric runs and only make somewhere between 14 and 30 pieces of a garment because that is all of the quality fabric we can get. Now our girls love that because they are getting a unique piece not like Lane Bryant where thousands of girls have the same outfits. And since so many of our pieces are sold to tourists, they might have the only green leaf print Milly in Australia or Switzerland which is where two of them went.

Jessica Svoboda should be pretty happy because while praising her trouser jeans, Clinton practically put her logo right in the camera lens. You can't get better publicity than that!

All in all it was great publicity for Lee Lee's Valise. Check out the episode recap and click on the shop list to see all the great stuff they got at the store.

I am very happy.

Today the shopkeeper doesn't have any problems.

Enough already!

Enough already with Bette Davis and her puppet! We have a lot more important stuff to discuss.

That's such old news anyway! Let's leave that nasty twat in the past where she belongs.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

I have to stop.

I'm a scared Norton.

Bette Davis bitches about ingratitude

Oh there she is.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE?

Oh yeah.

Baby Jane used to be so much fun.

Whatever happened to Baby Jane.

What Not to Wear

Back to the real world. Lee Lee's will be on What Not To Wear this friday August 28th at 9pm, repeated at 11pm and Saturday at 2pm.

Check it out.

On the other hand

On the other hand, I have been relatively restrained. For me.

You see when I duke it out, it is to the knife.

Like the Alamo. Play that Mexican No Surrender song.

Just sayn'

People take themselves way too seriously

Some people take themselves way too seriously. All the strum and drang in the world doesn't amount to a hill of beans in this nasty old world.

The best we can do is tell a few jokes, have a few beers and bust a few balls.

At least that's what I think.

Buddy Clinton Died For Your Sins

Much as he loved to be surrounded by a bevy of beauties, JFK loved dogs very much and had many of them during his days at the White House. In this photo from White House archives, Presidential dog Charlie gets some love from Caroline as the president, John-John, and Jackie frolic with Pushinka's puppies Blackie and White Tips and family dogs Shannon, Clipper, and Wolfie. The Kennedy’s loved all of their dogs equally and took very good care of them. Unfortunately one weekend when they were called away, they left them in the care of Uncle Teddy who got the bright idea that he would wash them.

They all drowned.
(Buddy Clinton Died For Your Sins, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Playboy Press 2009)

Another vote for vodka

She voted for vodka.

She was out mourning the death of Senator Kennedy in the only appropriate way.

Some pavements have all the luck.

Same story, different day!

So we got screwed again. The clothes we sent over for "Drop Dead Diva" Brooke Elliott were not to her liking. She only kept a couple of pieces.

The problem is the stylists don't know what the fuck they are doing. They don't know how to dress a plus size girl.

I don't even think she is really that much of a problem. She is on the very, very low end of our sizes. It is the TV that puts on the extra pounds. We dress a lot bigger girls everyday and they look great.

But as I keep saying, the only way for it to work is if they come to the store and work with the wife who can dress them properly.

Man I hate it that the summer is almost over.

I mean soon it will be Labor Day and before you know it will be Halloween.

I mean Halloween is a very different holiday now than it was when I was a kid. Now gangs of kids come out to stores and demand candy like little gangsters. That's why we close every Halloween.

Plus there is way too much underage drinking.

You see these idiots puking everywhere.

While Blake Sleeps

You know Blake is always posting and complaining that he can't understand how his computer is getting all fouled up and is gaming functions are off and stuff.

Now I don't know about all that technical mumbo jumbo while you are flopping your disc's.

I just know you have to keep an eye on your pussy.

Words to live by my friend, words to live by.

She voted for wine.

All the classiest chicks love wine. Especially white wine. Chilled. In an ice bucket. It's very sweet so you don't realize how much you have had until you try to get up.

But it's all good if you want to get down.

And funky.

Current Events Corner

My grandmother always told me that if you have nothing good to say about someone you should say nothing at all.

I have nothing to say.

I couldn't resist.

I am weak I tell you. I couldn't resist posting on a lawyer post but I quickly deleted it.

It was the wrong thing to do.

It's all there in black and white

"So boys are you waiting for an appointment with Trey. You can go first you know. I like it when he goes in deep.....I mean in depth."
"No we are not here for therapy."
"Hey eyes up here Nesmith. Then why are you here."
"Oh because he is our uncle."
"Oh that figures.....ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha."

Hey I found a great new blog.

Hey I found a great new blog that I stole from photo's from but I started reading it and it is right up our alley. It's called No Smoking in the Skull Cave.

They have a sensibility that I respect.

Plus cool naked pictures of Julie Newmar. Just sayn'

Thanks Sully

Not all big time bloggers are stuffy egoists. Andrew Sullivan emailed to tell me he voted for wine but his buddy Fidel here voted for Scotch. Cheap Scotch.

Although the hungover beagle always says that drinking Scotch makes his asshole hurt.

Thanks for the Email Sully.

I will sell anyone clothes.

Even Susan Sarradon.

I know she could use a couple of new bras.

Just sayn'

Drop Dead Diva might be wearing our clothes.

The stylist for Drop Dead Diva star Brooke Elliott came in to get some clothes today. I hope she picks some of the stuff and wears it on her upcoming appearances on Good Morning America and the Today show.

The only fly in the ointment is if she brings her costar Margaret Cho to the store. But I am a whore and I will sell anyone clothes.

That's what you call capitalism bitches.

Frenchy Fuqua's Shoe Blog

Yo slick whaz happenin"

You know I moved up to Brooklyn, I couldn't be living in Pittsburgh no more after that unfortunate incident where my ex-wife rammed my car into all the other cars in the players lot at Three Rivers. She totally smashed up Mr. Rooney's Studebaker and I got black balled. A brother ca n't get a break.

So I be watching a lot of the local yokel teams alright. The Jets were are last night and man they sucked as usual. I swear they ain't won a freakin thing since Joe Willie left. Theys got this new puertro rican kid as the quarterback Sanchez or Lopez or some shit. Sssshhhiiiittttttt! Don't they know the spanish kids only play baseball not football. I mean Jim Plunkett was half a beaner I think but you need brothers on the team if you wants to win anything. Anyway this Pedro guy gets intercepted his first pass in the NFL and they run the sucker back for a touchdown. Perfect. He is a good fit for the Jets. Then they had this guy called Clemens at QB. Didn't he get in all that trouble for takin steroids or sumthing. Man I gots to pay more attention.

The game got a little closer as the sruberinies came in but the Jets still suck. I swear I bet they still wish they had Walt Michaels. Now they got Buddy Ryans son as the coach. I mean if they have to get somebody's son why didn't they get Vince Lombardi's or Tom Landry's or Chuck Noll's. Well not Chuck Noll's cause I think he was on the down low but maybe Lombardi's. Then when there was a problem he could put out a contract on him or sumthing. Man I just glad I ain't a Jet's fan.

Remembrance of Things Pabst.

One of the worst things is living the drinking life and you find a great bar that you really enjoy. And then it closes. You mourn it like a friend that passed. That's what these posts are all about.

We used to go to this great cigar bar and restaurant called Mike & Tony's on Fifth Avenue and President St in Park Slope. It was built in an old funeral home and had a great set up. It had a great bar in the front room where you could get a great glass of wine or some single malt scotch and smoke a great cigar. My friends and I were really into the hobby at the time so we had all the toys. Humidors, cigar wallets, cigar cutters and fancy lighters. We would end up there and enjoy a great steak at the bar and watch the games on a big screen TV's while drinking fine wines and topping it off with a great cigar and some port. They also had a great restaurant room in the back that was through a sort of air-lock so none of the cigar smoke could go through if you were with someone who didn't smoke. My wife went there quite a few times when we were first dating.

Now this joint was owned by a big time chef who is well known and his father-in-law. They owned another great Italian joint across the street. But at some point the guy became his ex-father in law and that was the end of that. I guess it was all for the good because a couple of years later the Nazi's banned smoking in bars so the whole cigar thing was over. Soon they will be banning red meat and wine and we will be back to speakeasy days.

But I still miss the place.

You are never to young

Hey you are never too young to learn about the good things in life.

Just reach out and grab the gusto.

She voted for beer.

She voted for beer. But being a career gal she wanted to be very efficient. A real multi-tasker.

Because you never buy beer. You just rent it.

It's all there in black and white.

"Finally you speak Trey. You just sat there and listened to me talk all this time."
"Well Selina, that's what a good therapist does. He listens. Speak to me of these issues. Your revenge fantasy. Your near death experiences. Your abandonment issues."
"Well Trey I like my near death experiences."
"That's very strange Selina. How so?"
"Why Trey you know they call every orgasm the "Little Death." Sometimes I die five or six times right in a row."
"Hamana-hamana-hamana-uuurrrppphhh."
"And as far as abandonment issues go......"
"Aaaahhhh....gulp..yes."
"I have no issue with abandoning my clothes."
".......... "
"Trey....Trey....are you alright, your eyes just rolled into the back of your head."

Remembrance of Things Pabst

My English friend used to live all the way at the end of Atlantic Avenue at Hicks Street where you were right at the entrance to the BQE. He lived over this old time bar called Montero's. Now this is joint that has been around for what fifty or sixty years I guess. It was owned by the same family. The dude I know from the family who ran it was a Catholic School teacher. It is an old school saloon with a pool table in the back but it had this crazy rep as a 'tough' bar. Maybe back in the day when everyone was young but most of the people who hung out there were old timers. They did have a metal cage in the front that you had to be buzzed in with. But I think that was more to keep people out that they didn't want coming in to terrorize the other patrons. They do have a pretty good juke box and a lot of artifacts to look at. Like a toilet seat hanging from the ceiling. If you like that sort of thing.

Anyway back in the day we might start drinking there or end up there at the end of the night. It was basically Bud and shots.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

How to make wine!

First you must gather the grapes and hold them firmly to your bosum. Then you must place them in a oak cask and have a beautiful woman strip naked and climb into the cask and crush these grapes gently with her pristine soft tender feet as the sun shines on the mountain as she gently oh so gently mashes the grapes...and then.. and then...I forget.

These girls voted for vodka!

They are very cosomopolitan.

Ya gotta believe!!!!!!!!!

Hey the Mets ended their game yesterday when they were the victim of an unassisted triple play.

Jerry Manuel is some manager.

He is doing the work of three men.

Its all there in black and white

"Why have you come to my lair Trey?"
"Well you have not come for your sessions Selina, I was worried."
"But you are the one that has disappeared Trey. You leave for weeks at a time and no one knows where you been"
"Well it's August Selina. I was on vacation. And you when I am on vacation I follow Jefferson Starship on all thier tour dates. I was at Jones Beach last night. We built this city on Rock and Roll."
"Well too bad you weren't around here Trey."
"Why is that Selina?"
"You might have got to see some Hot Tuna!"
"Hamana-hamana-hamana-uurrrpppphhh!"
"It not a white rabbit....it's a pink pussy....cat....ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!"

What's your favorite adult beverage?

What's your favorite adult beverage? From of course the five choices which are as follows:

Beer

Wine

Scotch

Bourbon

Vodka

I didn't want to load the dice so I put some fair photos up there. Have at it you rummies.

All you Mo's love Brie

Well are cheese poll was a total bust. All you mo's love Brie. Not Bree Hodge but frenchified Brie cheese. It's cheestatic. The results:

Brie 29

Swiss 9

Gouda 5

Government 4

Manchego 2

That was very disappointing. Now I have to come up with another good poll.

All the best Batman's have Chinese eyes!

All the best Batman's have Chinese eyes!

Or they are doing a Miley Cyrus imitation.

Hey I am not obessed with football!

I swear. I have a lot of other interests.

I just love when football season rolls around.

Frenchy Fuqua's Shoe Blog

Yo slick how you be.

They had another exhibition game last night. Man I hate them exhibitions. Nothing good comes out of it. You gots a good chance to gets hurt and for what? I mean if you wins it don't mean jack and if you lose you gots to listen to them talk shit. I mean what the fuck.

I be watching the Giants last night and they got whupped by the Bears. Now my boy Eli didn't do so well but what the hell it's just an exhibition. I mean the Bears had some kid Veal Cutlet playing that boy already been traded five or six times. Exhibitions don't mean diddly. I remember Joe Gilliam looked like a world beater in the exhibition season when by rights he was just a crack head. Even my boy Terry Bradshaw hated exhibitions with a passion. But whens the moneis on the table he was there just like Eli and not like that old crying pussy from Green Bay.

I see the Packers won, man they ain't been the same since John Brockington left. And Reggie White was there smacking around all them there chinks. What't the league coming to when your quarterback is named Aaron? Shhhhiiiiiitttttt! What's this be the Ten Commandments? Whatya think about your Moses now?

And my Steelers lost to the damn Redskins but like I sez it's just an exhibition. Like that time Franco Harris met up with Sister Sledge at Three Rivers and a donkey. So as long as no animals got hurt in the commision of that exhibition we bes ok.

Dat be a problem for the Igles though.

I believe we are approaching the Planet Claire

"Mr Spock you have the bridge."
"Thank you captain."
"Carry on ladies. We will soon reach the Sandwich Islands."
"OK sugar. Com'on Nurse Chapel. Let me show you what I learned on my summer vacation"
"Fascinating."

RH Hardin doesn't like to be out done.

So he sent me some photo's of naked chicks in a hot tub.

RH you freak me out man.

If you wonder why you haven't heard from Alpha Liberal Lately?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Keep your photos' coming in guys!

I love when commenters send me photo's to post. It's tough to fill up posts on a slow August Saturday.

Anyway thanks to Cedarford for this shot from his flicker photostream.

I never knew his first name was Bert.

Little TImmy is glad his team signed Michael Vick

He just want's to be sure that his doggie is ok.

Cause you never know.

Hey where's the town hall meeting

It's always important to be prepared for you town hall meetings. Even the Press has to find a spot to shoot.

So to speak.