Buddy Clinton Died For Your Sins

The most conservative of all our presidents had the most outre collection of pets.President Calvin Coolidge had at one time or another in the White House collected two white collies, an Airedale terrier, a Shetland Sheepdog, a Bulldog, a German Shepard, two Raccoons, a donkey, a bobcat, two lion cubs and a wallaby. But his strangest pet was Billy, or William Johnson Hippopotamus,a pygmy hippo from Liberia. A gift from the wealthy tire inventor and flagrant homosexual Harry Firestone, this pygmy hippo was one of the most famous pets of his time. He was brought in chains to the 1939 Worlds Fair in New York where he briefly escaped captivity only to be cornered in Times Square in an incident that later served as the plot for the famous movie King Kong. Much like similar immigrants from his continent, Billy fathered numerous offspring out of wedlock and is considered the common ancestor to most of the pygmy hippos that exist in America to this very day. At the time of his demise in 1955 he had sired twenty three offspring which is record only once equaled by Shawn Kemp formerly of the Seattle Supersonics.

A pygmy hippo did not reside again in the White House until President Barack Obama allowed his wife's aunt Madea Robinson to move in much against his own better judgement.
(Buddy Clinton Died For Your Sins, Doris Kearns Godwin, Playboy Press 2009)