(Family quarters, downstairs at the Summer White House on Martha’s Vineyard)
Michelle Obama: (walking in back from the beach) Mama I‘m home!
Michelle Obama: (walking in back from the beach) Mama I‘m home!
Marian Robinson (Michelle’s mom) Thank God you are home. Where have you been? You can’t have been on the beach all this time. You know black folks are scared of the ocean. And it’s not like you need to get a tan. Not like that pale ass husband of yours.
Michelle Obama: Now Mama don’t be calling him that. He’s the President of the United States after all.
Marian Robinson: Big deal. Like that means anything. Why didn’t you go out with that nice boy Joe Barry Carroll that kept asking you out back in college? He made a lot of money in the NBA you know.
Michelle Obama: Now Mama don’t be calling him that. He’s the President of the United States after all.
Marian Robinson: Big deal. Like that means anything. Why didn’t you go out with that nice boy Joe Barry Carroll that kept asking you out back in college? He made a lot of money in the NBA you know.
Michelle Obama (under her breath) Oh crap! (in her regular voice) Mama there was a reason they called him Joe Barely Cares.
Marian Robinson: Well that’s what they be calling your husband. Now that he wants to kill all the old people to save money and all. And stop them from getting their tonsils taken out. Madea, Madea come on out here… Michelle is home.
Madea: (rushes into the room) Michelle there you be at. How come we have to come here on vacation? I know the girls wanted to go to Disney World. Or even Vegas. I mean here we are on Martha’s Vineyard and that bitch Martha Stewart didn’t even come by to say hello.
Michelle Obama: Now Auntie you must know that Martha Stewart doesn’t own Martha’s Vineyard.
Madea: What you talkin about Michelle. Of course Martha Stewart owns Martha’s Vineyard. And wears that big dummy you call a husband. I want to know we stuck here with all these codfish sucking massholes. I want answers and I want them NOW!
Michelle Obama (picks up phone) Hi, can you ask the President to come to the cottage. I think he is out on the beach with the girls. Thank you.
President Barrack Obama: (Comes rushing in) Is every thing OK? They told me it was an emergancy.
Michelle Obama: My auntie wants to talk to you.
President Barrack Obama (mutters under his breath) Oh shit. What now!
Madea: What did you say you Louie Farakan looking mofro?
President Barrack Obama: Now Auntie Madea. You do know that I am President of the United States. You might show me just a little respect.
Madea: You want respect. That’s pure de damn funny when you don’t show us no respect.
President Barrack Obama: Now Auntie please, what do you mean by that? Don’t get all wee weed up now.
Madea: Wee weed? What are you ten years old? Malia is more grown up than you. I want to know why we couldn’t go to Disneyland.
President Barack Obama: Well Disneyland is part of a big corporation. And we can’t go there right now. But don’t worry next year we are going to take over Disneyland so all the poor people can get to go there for free. It just isn’t fair.
Madea: What the fuck? You gonna take over Mickey Mouse? What kinda commie are you?
President Barack Obama: I don’t have to take that from you Medea. You have been listening to Rush Limbaugh too much.
Michelle Obama: Now Auntie you must know that Martha Stewart doesn’t own Martha’s Vineyard.
Madea: What you talkin about Michelle. Of course Martha Stewart owns Martha’s Vineyard. And wears that big dummy you call a husband. I want to know we stuck here with all these codfish sucking massholes. I want answers and I want them NOW!
Michelle Obama (picks up phone) Hi, can you ask the President to come to the cottage. I think he is out on the beach with the girls. Thank you.
President Barrack Obama: (Comes rushing in) Is every thing OK? They told me it was an emergancy.
Michelle Obama: My auntie wants to talk to you.
President Barrack Obama (mutters under his breath) Oh shit. What now!
Madea: What did you say you Louie Farakan looking mofro?
President Barrack Obama: Now Auntie Madea. You do know that I am President of the United States. You might show me just a little respect.
Madea: You want respect. That’s pure de damn funny when you don’t show us no respect.
President Barrack Obama: Now Auntie please, what do you mean by that? Don’t get all wee weed up now.
Madea: Wee weed? What are you ten years old? Malia is more grown up than you. I want to know why we couldn’t go to Disneyland.
President Barack Obama: Well Disneyland is part of a big corporation. And we can’t go there right now. But don’t worry next year we are going to take over Disneyland so all the poor people can get to go there for free. It just isn’t fair.
Madea: What the fuck? You gonna take over Mickey Mouse? What kinda commie are you?
President Barack Obama: I don’t have to take that from you Medea. You have been listening to Rush Limbaugh too much.
Madea: Rush Limbaugh? What are you an idjit? I onliest listen to Steve Harvey and Art Bell. And that cute little homo Ryan Seacrest. He always has those cool young peoples like Rihanna on his show.
President Barack Obama: (under his breath) I oughta Chris Brown your homely ass (in his regular voice) I don’ t have time for this. I have to go and run the country. I have used cars to buy and tonsillectomies to stop (he rushes out of the room)
Madea: Where you going you pansy ass fool? Marian get my gat. Better yet I’m gonna take this here beach umbrella and I am gonna go down to there and straighten his pale ass out. I wanna see exactly how hard headed he gonna be.
President Barack Obama: (under his breath) I oughta Chris Brown your homely ass (in his regular voice) I don’ t have time for this. I have to go and run the country. I have used cars to buy and tonsillectomies to stop (he rushes out of the room)
Madea: Where you going you pansy ass fool? Marian get my gat. Better yet I’m gonna take this here beach umbrella and I am gonna go down to there and straighten his pale ass out. I wanna see exactly how hard headed he gonna be.
No comments:
Post a Comment