Friday, March 13, 2009

Tales from the Amy's garden: Under new management?


Fiver: There's something very queer about the warren this evening
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: Yes this time it’s different. It feels evil.
Bigwig: I know what it is. It is the lady in cottage. I think she has taken a lover and left the cottage.
Hazel: How do you know that? Did you see her leave?
Bigwig: Yes and she posted a photo in the window to show where she went in case anyone was looking for her. It seems like a clean place. It’s called the Sanitarium or something like that.
Fiver: But I see people going in and out of the cottage all day. You mean she is not there?
Bigwig: No and I think this troll has taken over the cottage. He is mean and yells at everyone and tells them they are stupid and they should suck his dick.
Hazel: That is so nasty. But I see a lot of women going in and out of the cottage too.
Bigwig: I don’t know. It is very strange. There are a lot of women and they are all named Maxine.
Hazel: How can that be?
Bigwig: Well they all pretend to have different names but they are all really named Maxine. I think it is a cult like when we lived on Juniper Creek. Or when we hid in Tom Cruise’s Garden before all the gay sex scared Fiver and we had to leave.
Fiver: Well I hope the lady comes back soon. If she doesn’t we might have to move.
Bigwig: I am already on it. I found this new garden owned by this fat man. He is jolly and sloppy and you know he always seems to have food around. Just yesterday I found a cinnamon roll.
Fiver: Well if the lady doesn’t come soon and throw these people out everyone will leave. Even the badger and the two gay moles.
Strawberry: Has anybody seen Flopears? He said he was going up to the cottage to see if there were any vegetable scraps but I haven’t seen him all day.
Hazel: This is not good.
(Watership Down, 1972)

12 comments:

KCFleming said...

I love this stuff.

Hey, Troop, have you ever read The $400,000 quarterback: The league that came in from the cold?

It's a history of the AFL.

Trooper York said...

No and it sounds great. I just ordered it from Amazon.

KCFleming said...

I just ran across it myself. Cool cover (not the one I pointed to).

I love the commenter discussing how you might enjoy it if you're "AFL-curious". NTTAWWT.

ricpic said...

The mystery of the missing Meade thickens. As does Meade's mitre, perhaps.

ChocolateGodzilla said...

Why, when I open that great photo in another window, does it say Michael+takes+over+the+garden.jpg??

1. It looks like a scene from The Wizard of Wisconsin. Rated ex (heh) for gratuitous hand-wringing and defensive finger pointing, not to mention needless nepotism.

2. Who is over the executioner's shoulder?

3. That is a blue ribbon rabbit. Is it a queer rabbit? Or a jac - rabbit.

Cousin Bob said...

Hey Trooper! This is a pretty decent blog you've got going.

I found it because of my cousin, Lucky, who's kinda obsessed by the Professor, if you know what I mean.

Anyways, this looks like a more fun operation than the Professor's, plus you really seem to know the ins and outs of the weirdness over there.

I'd love to visit your store in New York, but my wife is a size 6 at best, and it's a pain to leave California cause of my parole and everything.

See you around,
Cousin Bob

Trooper York said...

You haven't been paying attention Chocolate Godzilla. Every photo has a secret message after AJ said he tried to identify it by doing what you just did. Think of it as an extra joke.

ChocolateGodzilla said...

I have not been paying attention. But I do enjoy a good joke, even if it's on me. That's how I know I ain't a Democrat or progressive. Hahaha.

Is it a queer joke? Can you still laugh at queer jokes? Most queers I have met were named Michael,(except for the ones named Bruce) not that a stat like that means anything. Is that Michael with the knife? He's certainly holding it queerly.

ChocolateGodzilla said...

And is that a rabbit he is carving, or an ox being gored?

I know,I know, sometimes a picture is just a fucking picture.

I'd like to see some gay mole pictures when you get a chance, Troop.

Trooper York said...

Don't sweat it Titus, you will be seeing some Gerbil soon.

dr kill said...

Somewhere on this mountain, probably above the snow line and surrounded by fog the fugitive, Trooper York, is hiding.
The state police and the national guard are being mobilized right now. The local authorities have so far been unable to explain where the Ex Green Beret got the weapons he used to kill Deputy Sheriff Outhouse and wound other assorted progressive trash. They only survived thanks to their police state training. They say the fugitive will be caught in the next few hours. They have baited the mountain with Brooklyn Prosciutto Balls.

dr kill said...

You're dealing with an expert in gorilla warfare. He's the best with a gun, a knife and his bare hands.
He was trained to ignore pain and the weather, and to eat things a goat would puke up. ln the blogosphere his job was to get rid of enemy personnel, to kill them through humiliation. Winning by attrition. And Trooper York was the best!