They had the second episode of the Celebrity Apprentice last night and it was a doozy.
They had the two teams make up an ad campaign for Zappo’s an online shoe company that sells mostly woman’s shoes. They were supposed to have a presentation in front of the rep of Zappos who was this wimpy looking Oriental dude who look like he was going to crap his pants through out the whole episode.
There were the same two teams. The dickheads vs. the stupid bitches. Now the dickhead team picked the guy who likes dick the most as the project manager: skating Mary Scott Hamilton. Not that there is anything wrong with that. After all he probably has spent some time in woman’s shoes. The bitch’s pick of all people the Kardashian whore, not the one with the big ass, the other one. It’s off to the races.
The women are dominated by the poker playing cooze who is actually the only one with a brain in her head. They come up with this snoozer of a comic book and torture the tennis playing twat by having her dress up as the character. The presentation itself was a horror show as the spokes model who works on Deal or No Deal could not deal with something more difficult than leaning over and showing her tits while opening a box. The fun part of the episode is where they told the demon Joan Rivers that her help was not required. Man that was sweet. She was mortally offended and probably went off to conjure up Lucifer so the poker playing pussy would start to have locusts eating her gonads or something. The other amusing part of their part of the show is at one point, the poker pussy and the playboy centerfold are rushing down the street in New York in the summer time and the playboy girl takes off her shoes and starts to run barefoot. On city streets. Now you might be taken aback because you have to figure what she might step into and get on her feet. But then when you consider what she probably had to put in her mouth to become a centerfold it’s not so bad.
Anyway the dudes sucked it big time again. Tom Green and Clint Black were both acting out and Scott just couldn’t handle them. Hershel got pissed again and I thought he was going to squash Tom Green like a bug but Green backed down right quick. The presentation sucked as they used a format of EEE instead of Z which is the branding Zappo’s which ultimately lost them the task. Now I didn’t know why they didn’t brand it as ”E commerce is EZ with Zappo’s.” That gets both the E and Z in there. But none of these geniuses could figure that out.
At the boardroom Scott took in Tom Green and Hershel. Herschel was pissed that he was kept in just to say what a dick Tom was in this task. Trump let him go right away and he went back up to the suite where he was cornered by Melissa Rivers who was eying him like he was a new surgical procedure. Now Hershel is all modest and all but Melissa is checking him out from head to toe and you can see her thinking “Oh yeah I can take all of that baby just give it to me. Front door, back door in my mouth it’s no problem.”
Hershel kept looking at the floor and kicking his feet like Forrest Gump. Luckily they cut back to the boardroom where Scott gets the boot. He seemed like a nice guy and he got totally undermined because he couldn’t handle the shenanigans of Green and Dennis Rodman who look like they really screw up next week from the coming attractions. Which were almost as gruesome as Melissa Rivers almost coming in her pants because of her attraction to Hershel Walker. That is a real unbecoming attraction.
The rumor is that they cut out all the booze because one of the celebrities kept getting hopelessly drunk. My money is on Rodman but I guess they will drag it out for a while.
Oh and the task is selling dresses. Something I actually know something about. This should be fun.
They had the two teams make up an ad campaign for Zappo’s an online shoe company that sells mostly woman’s shoes. They were supposed to have a presentation in front of the rep of Zappos who was this wimpy looking Oriental dude who look like he was going to crap his pants through out the whole episode.
There were the same two teams. The dickheads vs. the stupid bitches. Now the dickhead team picked the guy who likes dick the most as the project manager: skating Mary Scott Hamilton. Not that there is anything wrong with that. After all he probably has spent some time in woman’s shoes. The bitch’s pick of all people the Kardashian whore, not the one with the big ass, the other one. It’s off to the races.
The women are dominated by the poker playing cooze who is actually the only one with a brain in her head. They come up with this snoozer of a comic book and torture the tennis playing twat by having her dress up as the character. The presentation itself was a horror show as the spokes model who works on Deal or No Deal could not deal with something more difficult than leaning over and showing her tits while opening a box. The fun part of the episode is where they told the demon Joan Rivers that her help was not required. Man that was sweet. She was mortally offended and probably went off to conjure up Lucifer so the poker playing pussy would start to have locusts eating her gonads or something. The other amusing part of their part of the show is at one point, the poker pussy and the playboy centerfold are rushing down the street in New York in the summer time and the playboy girl takes off her shoes and starts to run barefoot. On city streets. Now you might be taken aback because you have to figure what she might step into and get on her feet. But then when you consider what she probably had to put in her mouth to become a centerfold it’s not so bad.
Anyway the dudes sucked it big time again. Tom Green and Clint Black were both acting out and Scott just couldn’t handle them. Hershel got pissed again and I thought he was going to squash Tom Green like a bug but Green backed down right quick. The presentation sucked as they used a format of EEE instead of Z which is the branding Zappo’s which ultimately lost them the task. Now I didn’t know why they didn’t brand it as ”E commerce is EZ with Zappo’s.” That gets both the E and Z in there. But none of these geniuses could figure that out.
At the boardroom Scott took in Tom Green and Hershel. Herschel was pissed that he was kept in just to say what a dick Tom was in this task. Trump let him go right away and he went back up to the suite where he was cornered by Melissa Rivers who was eying him like he was a new surgical procedure. Now Hershel is all modest and all but Melissa is checking him out from head to toe and you can see her thinking “Oh yeah I can take all of that baby just give it to me. Front door, back door in my mouth it’s no problem.”
Hershel kept looking at the floor and kicking his feet like Forrest Gump. Luckily they cut back to the boardroom where Scott gets the boot. He seemed like a nice guy and he got totally undermined because he couldn’t handle the shenanigans of Green and Dennis Rodman who look like they really screw up next week from the coming attractions. Which were almost as gruesome as Melissa Rivers almost coming in her pants because of her attraction to Hershel Walker. That is a real unbecoming attraction.
The rumor is that they cut out all the booze because one of the celebrities kept getting hopelessly drunk. My money is on Rodman but I guess they will drag it out for a while.
Oh and the task is selling dresses. Something I actually know something about. This should be fun.
12 comments:
This was left over from Monday because I am still way busy.
I saw most of this episode, and your rehash is right on the money btw, but there was a moment where Joan Rivers hissed something about thinking that Clint Black is a snake. Was there more to that comment than I saw? Was she maybe remembering being dissed on a red carpet by him and Lisa Hartman-Black? I know he's the crooner cowboy and I know he's no Trace Adkins, but I was wondering where she got that message? I did not see the first 20 minutes.
I think Joan hates Clint Black because he had too much plastic surgery.
She hate's that.
Oooh. I love Zappos. Best on line shopping ever.
I have one foot that is wider than the other and it is next to impossible to get pretty shoes in a wide width. Most stores just stock the most common sizes. This is understandable, after all they need to move the merchandise.
Not so with Zappos. Tons of sexy shoes for a C width foot.
Now. If I could only find someone who wants a left foot C width in my size and trade. Then I wouldn't be slipping my left foot out of the shoes all the time. Mix and match so to speak.
I know. The wife buys from Zappos all the time.
We decided to bring in shoes. We searched and searched and finally found this company that had reasonable prices and wide widths. And they just told us they are going out of business. After 50 years. Does that suck or what?
DBQ, high-five. I love Zappos. It really has the best selection and customer service I've encountered.
I Kid you not when I tell you what I am about to tell you.
A brand new billboard went up outside my building with a huge picture of the oatmeal guy. I don't know what his name is but he looks like George Washington.
The last billboard there was some guy in his underwear and seemed to fit in fine. The bitches were all happy. I am sure some wankied to it.
But I can tell you right now the queens are going to be in an uproar about the oatmeal guys face in this hood. I am serious, the thing is huge. He wears a little hat too.
I need to make a bet with someone in the hood how long it is going to stay up...well actually I can't do that because I don't talk to anyone and no one talks to me. It's like that around here. I told you they were bitches.
I am looking at his face right now and I bet it is 5 stories. It is huge. It is just his face all lit up. He has red cheeks-he looks like he may hit the bottle. I can't read the slogan because another building is blocking it.
All I can see is his ginormous face.
I seriously wonder how many complaints they have received so far. If it has only been up today I am guessing around 100.
Let me know if they show Rodman's hog. If they do I will be there.
Titus that is the face of William Penn. He was a famous figure in early American History as he was instrumental in establishing the Quakers in Pennsylvania as well as being the inventor of oatmeal as a tasty breakfast ceral. And of course the magic act he perfomed at the Contiental Congress with his partner Silas Teller.
You are smart Troop.
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