Paddy's day is a particularly bad day for women. Especially women who don't drink. They don't know their limits and people are just handing them drinks and buying them drinks and sending over shots and getting them snockered.
You see if you are going to drink, you should know how much you can handle. And when you reach the limit of what you can do you should stop. Or at least taper off a little. Get something to eat. Drink some water. Get some air. Puke even.
I used to do the taxes for about twenty or so bars and restaurants and they all wanted me to come by on Paddy's day. I mean I did the taxes for both the businesses and most of the bartenders so I never paid anyway. But on Paddy's day most of the regulars got tons of drinks for free because the bar was making so much from the tourists. So it used to be a lot of fun. But Dennis Leary who is a major league asshole but an Irish Drinking man of the first water (actually Dewar's and water) described what St. Patrick's day is all about. He said it was going into your favorite pub, your local that you go to every day and a bunch of people you never saw before have taken over. And you get in a fight with a steroid abusing 19 year old electrician apprentice from Long Island because you accidentally sat on his Jet's jacket. It is just not worth it.
The best day to hang out is the day after St. Paddy's day. The bar staff is exhausted but still giving away the store to the regulars because they had made so much money the day before. And they are drinking too so they are buying your rounds because of all the tips you gave them through out the year. So it is much more fun than St. Paddys itself.
And a Tuesday Paddy's day is the most dangerous of all. You see it is in the middle of the week and people have no limits. After a certain point they just go "fuck it lets get smashed." And they go nuts because they figure they have the rest of the week to catch up with work.
Oh and the answer to the question:
You know he really loves you.............when he holds you hair back so you can puke out onto 42nd St.
That's love baby.
12 comments:
I bet she got some pipe when she got home, though.
She got some pipe before she got off that car.
I'll bet there's tension between the bar staff giving away the store and the store owner. There would be if I were the store owner. But then maybe that's the reason I never owned that particular kind of store in the first place.
And uh, yes, she's pure twat.
Not really ricpic. In a real bar the owner knows he has to take care of his regulars. In Times Square they rip off the tourists and the visting fireman to such an extent that they are happy to give away the store to the regulars on St Paddy's day. They can take in more in one day than the whole month of July. So a bunch of drinks and shots to the regulars means nothing in the grand scheme of things.
You see the regulars are the ones who are spending on a snowy Februay night and they are the ones who will determine if you survive or not.
Once upon a time, I knew a girl like that. She woke up on the 18th with her bra on inside out. How the hell could that happen? I'll never tell.
"Happy St. Patrick's Day Fuckers!"
-garage mahal 3/17/2009
How can I say it any better than that?
I was hanging out at a lively blues bar on my last vacation. The music was smokin', the dance floor was hoppin', the bar was full up....when off to my right, I noticed this very pretty young lady barfing into the 55 gallon drum they had previously stored under the bar for discards. I have a feeling she WISHED she was throwing up on 42nd St., Troop.
Thank god her best friends were there to hold back her hair...and so they did, for many a round...of barfing.
I dragged over one of my friends to point out the DISGRACE of having such horrible, thoughtless friends who weren't getting her out of the place. She looked at me and said, "Girl! Don't you EVER try to ruin one of my party nights like that, or you'll be holding your OWN hair!"
OK, I guess I used the term "friend" loosely.
I think I saw that movie. Did it star Rocco Sigfreidi and his vanilla godzilla?
Okay, I gotta tell this story.
Me and some dude were double dating these two roommates (I don't know who in the Hell he was- he was just dating the other roommate).
The four of us went out one Saturday night and got drunk.
Well, the girl I was dating was driving; she only got tipsy. I am a large, experienced German, so I drank as much as evrybody else put together and was feeling no pain. The other dude was so drunk he was puking out the back window of the car.
It was a Pinto. The windows didn't wind down, just swung open about 6 inches. It was a MESS.
The other chick was really wasted. 2 seconds after the dude pulled head back in from puking out $30 worth of beer and bourbon she has her tongue deep in his mouth.
If I had been any more sober that would have cost me to lose my hard earned buzz.
I don't know if that girl I was dating ever got her car clean; that was the last night I ever saw any of them.
And. just for the record- the skank was not holding his hair while he blew chunks.
Funny how fast the hair holders go from being friends, to loose friends to skanks.
Gosh, you guys make me wish I was a drinker!
Drinking the day after St. Patrick's Day is truly wonderful. I was stone cold sober yesterday, but I am looking forward to the end of the day today!
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