Thursday, June 26, 2008

Ask Trooper York: How do I buy my underwear?

Carefully. As a guy you just go into Century 21 or JC Penny and pick out five or six packages of whatever you want. That is of course if you are straight. For you gay dudes we will have to ask Titus about shopping for sexy undies. Me I am strictly a tightie whitie guy. Now isn’t that too much information.

But for the ladies, I have recently developed a lot of expertise in shopping for ladies garments due to the opening of our store. I have previously written about the proper fit for bras. Most women are wearing the wrong bra size. Everyone comes into the store and says “I’m something, something double D.” Not true. You are most likely an E or an F or a G or even an H. What you have been doing is going up in band size to get a larger cup. You are not a 44DD but a 38F. You need to be sized properly.

But don’t worry, the only thing I don’t do in the store is fit bras. As much as I might be tempted to now and again. Try a good boutique or specialty store near you and get a good bra. Your tits will take you for it.

By the way a good bra goes for $100 or more. Don’t accept a cheap $20 piece of crap or it’s gonna be sag city sister. A good bra will make you look slimmer and make your clothes fit the way they are supposed to fit. You might even go down a size if you have the right bra. Trust me, it works.

10 comments:

reader_iam said...

Speaking of underwear, coulda used your help over at a particular Althouse thread tonight, recently. Yeah, I know. I don't do that too much anymore, either.

Still.

OTOH, despite all your pop-cult facility, maybe you wouldn't get RHPS references, either. To which, I would say, without rancor:

So it goes.

Trooper York said...

Linda Ellerbee needs a new haircut.

blake said...

So true about the cup-size, troop.

How can women spend so much time and money on clothing and not get what is arguably the most important piece right??

blake said...

Heh. GMail decided, based on this thread, that I was interested in bras and would enjoy this.

How right they were.

reader_iam said...

Yeah? Well, it seems to think I'd be into this, (along with, for example, a different site specializing in, I assume, see-through bikinis).

Not really my thing, I must say, though I suspect you guys will appreciate my sharing.

Love the name "Fearless and Fun Titlion," however--hilarious!

Trooper York said...

When we were in Vegas it was nonstop shopping for the shows. We went to five shows: Magic, Moda, Fame, the swinwear and the lingerie
show. Now the lingerie show was the last one after an exhausting week. And the air-coniditioner broke so the hall was boiling hot and stuffy. Well I was so tired and beat I just sat in the chair and dozed, snoring and everything. Occasionally the wife would elbow me and say what do you think about this as some model would be bending over showing off these bra and panties sets that they were trying to get us to buy. I used to have to pay a lot of money to see that at a strip club, but now I couldn't even stay awake.

Notice I didn't say stay up.

blake said...

Wow, that's some...what is that? lol

Thanks for sharing, sure. Heh.

Troop, the thing about the thing is that you don't even need to be conscious for it to work. I guess that's a blessing.

reader_iam said...

No clue what a crystal bikini is, but somehow I don't think I want to see Trooper in one. Or any trooper in one.

reader_iam said...

(Was this ever a weird e-mail to find in my inbox this morning! That's the hazard of having comments e-mailed from any thread on which one has commented: It can come back to haunt months and months later.)

blake said...

Yes, the spammers are creative in their invasiveness.