Saturday, September 24, 2011

Marilyn's Diary



I remember the day Uncle Herman told my Aunt Lily that he was leaving us. He had fallen in love with another monster. A succubus named Carol. It seems that she had mesmerized him with an unending stream of ceaseless babble that had distracted him so much that he was drawn into her web. Her insanity was so seductive that Uncle Herman could not get enough. So he decided he was going to leave the love of his life to move in with this disgusting old hag that would never shut up. He decided that he was going to leave Aunt Lily. And little Eddie. And Grandpa. And most of all he was going to leave me.

We heard from him periodically over the years. When he moved to Boston to work with the Red Sox. When he retired and opened a Brussel Sprouts farm. And when his new wife took his name. But you see she had a terrible problem of dyslexia. She always transposed dates and numbers and names. So when she took Uncle Herman's name she made a mistake and transposed them. Thus she will always be known as Carol Herman.

She would never be a Munster

9 comments:

ndspinelli said...

Keep working the body of The Ditz, and then go for the KO!

MamaM said...

Her-man? MamaM continues to hold that Carol writes like a man-her, almost as precise as Titus in maintaining character.

There is no body to work and no KO with dreams, legends and enchantresses.

That she can so studiously avoid the TY's siren call may be evidence the her-man is wary of rocks and mirrors.

For a while she repeatedly visited El Pollo in his chemical dreams, latching on like a starving newborn. Maybe he appeared more succulent and malleable. What's turned up at TY appears as the underscore, the missing initial, the equally random and obsessed shadow side.

Whoever the her-man is, she created a whopper of a character, with definite presence.

J said...

Helloween , already eh. Real crime noir types--like Ellay side-- avoid kitsch ,TY. Then they wouldn't let phonies such as "spinelli" aka Barfboy ruin their blog either with bubblegum quatsch.

chickelit said...

Carol's ignoring me on Althouse.

Trooper York said...

I love kitsch J.

I also like greasy fries, dirty water dogs, grape soda, paintings on velvet and Little Debbie Snack cakes.

ricpic said...

Carol's ignoring me on Althouse.

If the joy of striking out at her (verbally of course) is not sufficient recompense a CH directed post ought not be made.

Today, among other inanities, she wrote that American artists all made a beeline for Paris in the 1800's. As I'm sure you know, chicken, in fact most American artists in the 19th century chose Germany (mainly Munich schools of art) as the place to learn their trade. But why protest? A fool is impervious to correction.

Titus said...

Today was The Fluff Festival in Boston.

You know that white creamy shit?

chickelit said...

Titus said...
Today was The Fluff Festival in Boston.

When is Fluffer Fest?

Titus said...

I was thinking that same exact thing Chick, although I thought it may be inappropriate to say...because I have standards and a lot of class.