Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Wacky World of Carol Herman


Carol_Herman said...

Off topic. But on menstruation. On the rag. (I got my "last" among all my friends.) But I had a friend who was as skinny as me, who mom didn't tell her anything. Who went to the beauty parlor to get her hair done. The hair on her head not the other one. You know not an Bolivia or whatever it is when they trim down south over the border. That ironpeter guy would have loved her.

And, she went to the bathroom. And, came out screaming ... because she was bleeding. All over the bathroom. And the floor when she ran out of the bathroom.

Of course, the women laughed. And pointed. And then they threw napkins at her. Not sanitary napkins. We didn't have them in 1932. They were regular napkins. And handkerchiefs. And a scarf. One lady even threw her a muff. For her bleeding muff. I mean it sounds right but it really wasn't.

But my friend had NO IDEA! Just like me. I never have an idea. But that doesn't stop me from telling you exactly how it is.

I wonder for how many women this would have been the truth? I mean they have to know that is why man are scared of us. We bleed all the time but we never die. Look at me. I am older than dirt.

And I don't look so bad.......do I boys?


48 comments:

chickelit said...

If she's kept them out of the sun they're probably still milky smooth.

ndspinelli said...

I was hoping Carol Herman was still fertile.

chickelit said...

And if they're longer firm at least they're large.

chickelit said...

Hey Troop, Ritmo is reanimated.

Titus said...

Very mean.

Practice compassion.

Back in Boston. Was on the North Shore last night. It's totally Jersey Shore.

So hot.

Tits.

TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MamaM said...

Titus!
The MamaM's been looking for you.
Did the other Jay scare you away?
Have you been reanimated like Ritmo?
Did you sail through the Great State of NY like a cloud without a hitch?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Titus said...

More like Revere Tim.

The wealthy guidos left Revere for Peabody.

Titus said...

Hi MamaM,

Hugs, Hogs and Good Tidings to you and yours.

chickelit said...

Boss Hoss by The Sonics.

chickelit said...

Of course, the lomen waughed. And pointed. And then they new thrapkins at her. Not nanitary sapkins. We didn't have them in 1932. They were negular rapkins. And handkerchiefs. And a scarf. One lady even mew her a thruff. For her meeding bluff. I mean it rounds sight but it weally rasn't.

MamaM said...

I get around just everywhere
People stop and say lookie there


So if the MamaM is understanding the allegations correctly, all the rabbits look like the same Hoss to the New Jay flapping about in the dark?
---------------------
It's Chancre Sheeves, chickenlittle!
Get it right if you want to be boss hoss.

TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chickelit said...

And MamaM in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap...

MamaM said...

When mutt to why under-ring wise id a pier, but a sinister Jay and 8 hiney toss-dear.

chickelit said...

That was richly deployed, MamaM!

Titus said...

Troop, save us from J please.

And Tim, it is wonderful to be back in the hub of the universe, although it is a little loud

TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Dude said...

I met a guy who was half Scottish half Irish. Part of him wanted to get drunk, the other part didn't want to pay for it.

MamaM said...

And what sort of man would invent a "titus" (or act as "Mama")?

An inventive or active person might do so, with no gender requirement for either attribute.

The active and inventive Jay reveals the tiniest spark of humor him/her self, while arbitrating manliness and naming the animals.

MamaMumble is closing in on PHUN.

chickelit said...

We could use a Warren Report. The fogblather is so thick you can cut it with cheese.

MamaM said...

A manly mormon with many mumblin' wives?

Or a mumblin' manic moron manufacturing multiple lies?

Hard to tell the difference. Some angles are obtuse.

The Mirror of Trooper York reflects aberrations, deviations, distortions, departures and lapses of all kinds and makes.

In doing so, it invites laughter, reflection, recollection, and participation, activities which entertain and create community.

A house of mirrors or hall of mirrors is a traditional attraction at funfairs (carnivals) and amusement parks. The basic concept behind a house of mirrors is to be a maze-like puzzle. In addition to the maze, participants are also given mirrors as obstacles, and glass panes to parts of the maze they cannot yet get to. Sometimes the mirrors may be distorted...to give the participants unusual and confusing reflections of themselves.
In fiction, battles sometimes take place within a hall of mirrors. This is a great way to symbolically show the trickery potential of a villain

chickelit said...

More Cowbell!

J said...

UH oh Hoss is now trying his liter-rary schtick, Pollito.

Part of its gay bartender stock-in-trade. He never made it to sophomore year back at Casa Grande JC, but....well he can speak a bit better than the average AZ hick--helped 'em too when he needed to sling some dope, or tee-shirts, or bogus chiropractor supplies.

All part of the usual mountebank schtick--fuck Hoss Belcharoni's not even an entertaining villain--Moriarty he's not--just vain, vulgar, self-aggrandizing, irrational, etc

TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chickelit said...

A yardstick for lunatics, one point of view...who cares what games we choose?
Little to win but nothin' to lose

MamaM said...

Due to conflicting evidence Chickenlittle, the Warren Report is still pending. The new animal identifies as a Jay but incoming data suggests something different. A shape shifter in a House of Mirrors is particularly difficult to follow, especially when it reflects little to no light.

So far, this Blue Jay appears more strident and less clever than the other more gay one.

Evidence to date includes:

A few blue tail feathers and small, unopened can of tar with bite marks on the lid.

Tracks which include slither patterns, claw marks and hoof prints more reminiscent of passing Ass then Hoss.

Blobs of yellow foam flecked spittle randomly aimed at imagined enemies.

Scattered Scat, more puny pellet than loose loaf, consistent with a an intake of canned fare and pablum, continuously ruminated.

Capacious amounts of Venom, Invective, and Vituperation, ejected from fangs thru self milking and missed strikes.

Caws of intelligence and superior breeding not supported by predominant behavior revealing lower order, win/lose Reptilian Brain function..

Trace amounts of humor.

J said...

What a noble mind is here overthrown!

Hoss-hamlet at the Marysville elks talent nite.

It's another Anglo-WASP blowhard--like a dyslexic Kelsey Grammar on 'roids n crack-- not an irishman whatsoever ,TY, pollito, etc

TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MamaM said...

At least Sir Archy, discerning and well read roach that he is, despite his station and lot in life, knows a bass from a treble clef and a linnet from a jay.

Looking up Throustill led the MamaM to this

PHUN all the way around!

deborah said...

Wow. Following MamaM's link from Tim's internet spark we find:

http://216.129.110.22/files/imglnks/usimg/0/06/IMSLP74184-PMLP148800-Bird_fancyers_delight.pdf

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

deborah said...

I concur with chick; this recent growth of fogblather needs tended.

MamaM said...

Holy Hoss, Tim. The next link brought up "Why Birds Sing: A journey through the mystery of bird song. (Pgs 19-21). Complete with a score that can be played for Starlings, and descriptions of bird flageolets. Also a story about a German biologist who taught captive bullfinches to sing tunes. No description of a throustill, but it was nevertheless a good run with more PHUN.

As for Sir Archy, give him another crumb and tell him his recommendation was appreciated, along with his humor. Dig around in your old book collection and read him about salt that loses it's saltiness. Good thing for him that roaches are hardy.

Cockroaches are among the hardiest insects on the planet. Some species are capable of remaining active for a month without food and are able to survive on limited resources like the glue from the back of postage stamps. Some can go without air for 45 minutes. In one experiment, cockroaches were able to recover from being submerged underwater for half an hour. It is popularly suggested that cockroaches will "inherit the earth" if humanity destroys itself in a nuclear war.

----------------------
Beyond words at the link, Deborah!!

J said...

SCHPOCK! BONESZ! ZZULU!


Hossaroni does a dyslexic Shatzner impression along with the...others..Hamlet, Jerry Falwell, Tex Watson,etc.

MamaM said...

Hossaroni does a dyslexic Shatzner impression along with the...others..Hamlet, Jerry Falwell, Tex Watson,etc.

And Good old Gypsy Rose. Don't forget Gypsy Rose!

Wichita's one and only burlesque theater presents
Miss Gypsy Rose Lee


Gypsy
Let me entertain you
Let me make you smile


Momma Rose
Sing out, Louise!

Gypsy
Let me do a few tricks
Some old and then some new tricks
I'm very versatile
And if you're real good
I'll make you feel good
I'd want your spirit to climb
So let me entertain you
We'll have a real good time,
Yes sir!
We'll have...
A real good time!


Theater Manager
Do something!

Momma Rose
Yeah!

Theater Manager
Take something off!

Gypsy
Momma!

Momma Rose
A ... glove! But say something!

Gypsy
Hello! Hello...everybody!
My name is Gypsy Rose Lee... What's yours!
Mr. Conductor, if you please!
So, let me entertain you...
And we'll have a real good time, yes, sir!
We'll have...
A real good time!


Sing Out Jay! Take something off! Anything! A...glove! But say something!
Jay: Oh MamaMumbleHossarini!

MamaM said...

And for the finale, just so no one dies dumb...

Why Dyslexics Make Great Entrepreneurs
The ability to grasp the big picture, persistence, and creativity are a few of the entrepreneurial traits of many dyslexics. Just ask Charles Schwab

J said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
TTBurnett said...

Will no one rid us of this low-born pest?

chickelit said...

Hey you want me to like take out these f*cking pigs,Charlie.

"You can stop now; I'm already dead." ~Abigail Folger's dying words.

chickelit said...

low-born pest?

More like "blow porn est"

Trooper York said...

Even cockaroaches have a place in the Eco-system.

I don't want to delete unless there is a direct attack or serious anti-semitism.

MamaM said...

Chickenlittle, if you want to be Boss Hoss the MamaMumbles will take Hossaroni. It has a ring to it that reminds her of the Rice-a-Roni Guy from the weird 60's swinging on the Trolley while lustily singing about San Francisco Treats.

Unless Tim can quickly discern the fine line between Wooden 11th Grade diction and the Silkier 12th Grade Style, he's stuck with Tin Ear for a while.

The well from which the Tex stuff is being fished is old, dark and musty.

TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TTBurnett said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J said...

Caliban , Baron Von Rio Salida.

That's a proper Hoss role. You've never written a coherent essay in your life, fraud--fiction, non-fiction,or otherwise.

Titus said...

This is going to sound really gay but I saw Bernadette Peters on Broadway in Gypsy and I was bowled over.

Let me entertain you, bum do bump da bump

Let me make you smile, baa ba bump.

I was in heaven.

J said...

Burlesque? Why none better than Calamity Jane



buh bye, joto