Monday, January 9, 2012

Reason 1,938 why Hockey sucks!


Did you hear about the hockey player who had to go on the disabled list because he ate a plate of pancakes?

Los Angeles Kings winger Dustin Penner said he couldn't play over the weekend after suffering back spasms brought on by eating a plate of his wife's pancakes. Lifting that forkful of tasty pancakes was just too much for the poor guy.

Or maybe he threw his back out because he couldn't chew them because he didn't have any teeth left.

You know what you get when you have thirty two hockey fans in a room?

A full set of teeth.

18 comments:

chickelit said...

A full set of teeth.

Leper hockey faceoff

chickelit said...

I like Darcy's team.

ndspinelli said...

Let that Rikers Island incident go, big boy...just let it go.

The Dude said...

Y*nkee flat ball sucks!

windbag said...

Go Sabres!! And take the Bills with you!!

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Those pancakes must really suck. Did he marry a Canadian? Canadians usually take their pancakes really seriously because pancakes exist only a medium to transfer maple syrup into their mouths (Canadians love maple syrup and maple trees and the fact they can go to the United States for health care--just in case).

You know why Canadians like to do it doggie style? So they both can watch the hockey game at the same time.

But you know who are far far worse? Greeks.

Chip S. said...

I once developed tmj from too much plate licking.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

No word who Fidel picked for the National Championship game tonight.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Why A-Rod sucks...Titus you might like this

TTBurnett said...

Ah, Trooper, you're just not close enough the Great Frozen North to get it.

Also, if you're a Catholic, how can you dis Hockey? The players are all Canucks or Irish. Ever seen a Protestant hockey player?

As a dad of vaguely Hibernian persuasion, I was under enormous social pressure to get up at 5:00 AM every day and take my kids to hawckey practice.

What? You go to a Catholic church? You profess having a sainted Oirish Grandmother? (Well, maybe she didn't scrub floahs for the Saltonstalls on Beacon Hill…) And your kids DON'T play Hawckey? What kinda faathah ah you?

Well, one who isn't From Here for starters.

For those of you not from the Northeast, you should be aware that, in many ways, Canada really starts at the Rhode Island border.

The Dude said...

Hockey is only good when Lord Stanley's cup is south of the Mason Dixon line, where it rightfully belongs and occasionally resides. Otherwise it sucks.

TTBurnett said...

In case you're new to this blog, you should know that my specialty is Boston dialect stories.

Check out the Soxaholix for moah Bwahston tawk.

Pastafarian said...

Well, I guess it has a little too much continuous action for a baseball/football fan.

A baseball game consists of about 250 pitches, with 54 of those resulting in an out and maybe 20 more resulting in a hit. That's about 11 minutes of actual action, in a 4 hour game.

Football is actually worse, if you can believe that. Hockey has 60 minutes of continuous action.

Hockey has more violent collisions than football, less padding, and fewer injuries. "He's a hockey player," the commentator will say, when a player comes back with 20 stitches in his face.

And it involves infinitely more skill, creativity, and artistry than baseball and football combined. Google Pavel Datsyuk. Here, I'll save you the trouble, copy and paste:

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=datsyuk+highlights&mid=9FD180DCB046FA36E68B9FD180DCB046FA36E68B&view=detail&FORM=VIRE1

If you're so ignorant of hockey that you've never heard of Datsyuk, and all you know about it is that many players are missing teeth, then don't bother to write about it. It would be as though all I knew baseball was the time that they caught Reggie Jackson blowing Rick Monday in the locker room, and I complained about how baseball is just a bunch of homoerotic foreplay.

Pastafarian said...

Hey, here's a co-inky-dink: Datsyuk's Red Wings are playing a game tonight, against some minor league and/or expansion team that calls themselves "the Islanders.". Should be entertaining.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Boy Jon Huntsman is quite feisty today!

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Pastafarian, Trooper might as well get into hockey because he has managed to curse his football team.

Pastafarian said...

And I've cursed the Wings. No Datsyuk, and a 5-1 loss.

blake said...

o/~Baseball's fine
Football's rougher
Basketballers all are tall

But I like hockey
Hockey's tougher
You must play without a ball~\o