Monday, January 9, 2012

Instant Replay- The Unedited Edition.


"What is it, Coach?" I said. "What's the matter?"

Finally, he managed to say, "I had to put Paul--" He was almost stuttering as he kept moving his hand inside his pants at a furious pace. "I had to put Paul on that list," he said, "and they took him."

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything. Vince had put Paul Hornung on the list of Packers eligible to be selected by the Saints, the new expansion team in New Orleans, and the Saints had taken him. Paul Hornung had been my teammate ever since I came to Green Bay in 1958, and he had been Vince's prize pupil ever since Vince came to Green Bay in 1959, and it may sound funny but I loved Paul and Vince loved Paul and everybody on the Packers loved Paul. From the stands, or on television, Paul may have looked cocky, with his goat shoulders and his blond hair and his strut, but to the people who knew him he was a beautiful guy.

He had some strange ideas. He talked about how he took a shit all the time. He called it "Pinching a loaf." And he kept a weird looking Spaniel of some sort. It wasn't a cocker spaniel. It was more of a cockeyed spaniel. It liked to eye the cocks of all the players in the locker room.

In fact Paul spent a lot of time hanging around naked in the locker room. He would also look to get in the whirlpool with another player. Especially the rookies. They were too scared to say anything. Even when it was a one man tub. Paul would make them sit on his lap
(Instant Replay- The Unedited Edition, Jerry Kramer & Dick Schaap Random House 1968)

37 comments:

chickelit said...

Just don't touch Ray Nietzsche or I'll go crazy.

#15 is sacred too.

chickelit said...

If the Giants had only given Lomabardi his chance and not blown it, people wouldn't even have Packer worship.

The Giants would have all that kingdom and all that power and all that irrevocable glory forever. Ahem

Michael Haz said...

Did you know that the largest hospital in Green Bay is named St. Vincent's?

You probably didn't know that. Have they named any prisons after any Giant's coaches?

chickelit said...

I just realized that I will have to change my avatar or at least its color before Sunday's game.

I don't want anybody getting the wrong idea.

Trooper York said...

Michael Haz said....
You probably didn't know that. Have they named any prisons after any Giant's coaches?

What's the big deal about having a hospital named after you.

The biggest hospital in New York is named after the Eurythmics lead singer's tits.

Trooper York said...

The place that really defines Vince Lombardi's place in the universe is the "Vince Lombardi Rest Stop" on the Jersey Turnpike where countless travelers have pullled in to take a dump or strike a wide stance.

Now that is appropriate.

Trooper York said...

The Giants had both Lombardi and Tom Landry on their staff and niether one of them measured up to their standards.

The went on to some modest success but that was only due to the Giants foregoing their natural advantage and sharing revenues in a communist plot led by Peter Rozelle and Fidel Castro.

Trooper York said...

To this day teams raid the Giants for coaching talent.

John Fox of the Broncos for one.

Romeo Cannel of the Cheifs for another.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

The curse has been invoked.

chickelit said...

The biggest hospital in New York is named after the Eurythmics lead singer's tits.

I'll bet that hospital lacks nursing capacity.

AllenS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AllenS said...

Earlier, I had told the story of my being wounded in Viet Nam and ending up in a hospital in Japan. Because I had a staph infection, I was quarantined to the staph ward, and by early 1968, I was the only one remaining on the ward. One day shortly after I had a skin graft over the wound, I look up from my bed, and there was BART STARR! The Packers had just won the Super Bowl and he was gracious enough to do a USO tour. How cool is that? Somewhere, there is a picture of us.

AllenS said...

Did anybody catch my mistake? D'oh!

The Dude said...

If John Fox is what passes for talent on the Giants then it's a freakin' miracle you have ever won a game - that guy is pathetic, but he is an opportunist taking advantage of situations he had no part in creating.

chickelit said...

@Allen: The pack won in '67 and in '68 so the date looks right.

Great story!!

Trooper York said...

Is your mistake that you said Bart Starr was cool? Just sayn'

Trooper York said...

I mean he was ok but he was no Fran Tarkenton. Just sayn'

ndspinelli said...

Great story AllenS! And, as predicted the bloviator is talking trash. Well here are the facts. Lombardi 2 Super Bowl wins; Landry 2 Super Bowl wins. The inbred Mara family let them go. Bill "Tuna" Parcells 2 Super Bowl wins w/ the Giants, and Mara let him go. Both the Cowboys[who I hate] and the Packers have more Super Bowl wins than the Giants.

But, here's the fact that even the Brooklyn Bloviator can't deal w/. Ray Handley, who coached the Giants in the early 90's, is a cross dresser[NTTAWWT]. After being fired by Mara, Handley has literally lived in exile in Lake Tahoe, dressing up like a woman and trying to lure drunk gamblers and skiiers into his studio apartment for "Fashion Shows." Rumor has it Trooper is trying to get Handley to appear on their new reality show. That would be a coup and bolt their show to the top. I heard Trooper is even willing to let Handley give him a lap dance if he'll appear. Taking one for the team...as it were!

chickelit said...

I mean he was ok but he was no Fran Tarkenton. Just sayn'

I think that we all agree that we have a regular Johnny Untius in the WH right now.

Let's huddle around the facts.

Game on

The Dude said...

Wow, that's some harsh shit right there, Nick - are you channeling Sixty Grit or something?

AllenS said...

TY, I'll tell you the mistake that I made, but you'll have to promise me that you won't laugh.

The Dude said...

Johnny Unitas is dead. What are you suggesting, CL?

chickelit said...

Un-tie-us

chickelit said...

@Sixty: My apologies for the impolitic remark. It was unbecoming for the blog.

ndspinelli said...

Oh..there is also a Ray Handley Rest Stop halfway between Harrisburg and Hershey, on the Hershey Highway. It's a favorite stop of cross dressing truckers and accountants.

ndspinelli said...

Lawrence Taylor punched out Handley when he discovered Handley was a cross dresser. Taylor learned of Handley's delicate condition when he ordered an eight ball of crack and a prostitute to his motel room in Patterson, NJ and his fucking head coach showed up in full regalia...and w/o the eight ball!

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Belichick was a former Giants junior coach too--although he was beaten by his old team. But that will never happen again, because Trooper invoked the curse.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

In case you care:

Karl Rove makes his picks for NH

Debbie Wasserman Schultz makes her NH picks.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Trooper has invoked them all!

chickelit said...

@EBL: Are we riven by Rove?

AllenS said...

A short bed time story.

chickelit said...

It's also called "Pillow Balk" AllenS.

chickelit said...

OK, my comment count is too high for this thread.

Quota reached.

'Bye!

Anonymous said...

He must've been a bad boy.

I'm Full of Soup said...

Saw Paul Hornung at an airport about 12 years ago.

blake said...

>>The biggest hospital in New York is named after the Eurythmics lead singer's tits.

Annie Lennox named them "Bellevue"?

Trooper York said...

No. Lennox Hills.

(They own most of the hospitals in New York these days. It's not all in one spot but it is a huge corporation)