Bigwig: Hyzenthlay.Hyzenthlay: Sir?
Bigwig: I'd like to talk with you.
Hyzenthlay: Yes Sir.
Bigwig: I just wanted to know what is going on at the old warren. We don’t want any surprises.
Hyzenthlay: Well Sir there are a lot of new animals in the garden. It is getting very scary.
Bigwig: Really. What do you mean?
Hyzenthlay: Well it seems that there is a scruffy coyote who is trying to take over the garden. He is always yipping and yapping and chasing all the other animals. He is trying to be all mean and tough but he has dirty fur and some feces stuck to his bottom. You have to wary of him. Watch out because he might follow you home.
Bigwig: That’s crazy. But the Owsla will watch for him. We are ever vigilant and we have a few tricks up our sleeve. Who else should we watch out for?
Hyzenthlay: Well there is a senile garrulous wart hog who never shuts up. She talks and talks and doesn't make any sense. I never knew that wart hogs could live so long. She never shuts up and she is totally incoherent.
Bigwig: Really. Well what does the lady who owns the garden say? Or her friend the gardener? Is he still taking pictures of all the young animals while they are singing?
Hyzenthlay: No I don't think so. He hasn't had his camera out for a while. I think it is planting season. He is planting his blubs or something. At least I think that is his job. That and cooking pancakes and shaving the ladies hobbit feet.
Bigwig: But what about the lady who owns the garden? Doesn't she care that these new visitors are creating havoc in the garden and scaring the rest of the animals?
Hyzenthlay: Not really. I don't think she cares. Or understands what is happening. She is just busy adding to her collection of Paul Masson bottles in the front yard. She doesn't care about the garden. At least not enough to pay attention.
Bigwig: Well that doesn’t sound like much fun. Everyone is very happy at the new garden. We will keep an eye out for these new animals and will chase them out of our garden. It will be like they aren't even here.
Hyzenthlay: That sounds great. I wish they would do that here.
Bigwig: Well I will leave you to it. I expect a full report of what is going on here. Carry on Hyzenthlay.
Hyzenthlay: Yes sir. Will you be coming back again soon sir...
Bigwig: Perhaps. Just be careful. The lady’s garden sounds like it is much more dangerous these days. Watch out for that coyote. At least you can smell him coming.
17 comments:
I went to a bar last night and had a drink called the Amy Winehouse.
Poor Amy.
I have lost some fondness for the old garden. I much prefer the new garden.
Foxy Loxy, shall we organize a community carcass wash for Raggedy Coyote?
Whatever happened to (Henny) Penny? I hope she wasn't frightened off.
Texaroni shifts into his little pop-sentimental mode (ie Titus, his gals) at a moment's notice .--Winehouse, so sad.
Or Space Elvis! as some called it in Sac. Elvis medley , Texaroni
Bell Boy
Now that "Belle Boy" deleted his post, mine doesn't have the same "Sting."
Enjoy, anyways.
I'm referring to J's 11:23 deleted comment in case blogfather does clean up.
Animal allegories--
mostly dull and stupid. Animal Farm was about the last ---but Troop's no Orwell nor are his little gang of phonies.
Come September when the moon is full, the old coyote howls with longing when he remembers the lofty, god-like, superiority he felt as he stood in the front of rooms filled with 11th grade dullards, dyslexics, and mumblers relying solely on him to deliver to them his erudite and singularly correct point of view.
"J" You're no chess player..I knew Bobby Fischer, Bobby Fischer was a friend of mine. You're no Bobby Fischer.
..I knew Bobby Fischer, Bobby Fischer was a friend of mine
Uh huh. Where did you meet Mr. Fischer, ex-pat for like the last30 years of his life? So youre in your 70s ,and maybe it in Yugoslavia , or Iceland, or was it Japan? Nyet.
Just a lying piece of white trash--that defines yr entire existence
He's a googlin'!
Make sure to include Fischer's variation on the Ruy Lopez, in addition to yr lies about his bio. Oh and modern notation too!Lots of work there Hossaroni >Maybe better just stick to yr football schtick .
I never metaphor I didn't like.
Who uses phrases like "modern notation" & "coherent essay", quotes Hamlet, touts Orwell, esteems themselves an expert, loves to red line, hates those who deviate from the norm or challenge control, especially little gangs of phonies?
Sounds like some nasty fusty old high school Lit. teacher who couldn't wait for retirement and now resents the hours spent giving goodies to the unwashed masses. Someone who knew their stuff at one time, but ended up in a cloud of discontent with the dingleberries of bitterness stuck on their hind end.
Cryin' out loud! Even Carol Herman is more interesting. Get the index finger off of the "J" and let it roam the keyboard. Write something juicy, fun, cohesive, witty, informative, or maybe even deep or complimentary.
In MamaM's mind there is no more open forum than TY's. A blog devoted to the concept of broad.
Non sequitur time from MamaHoss--
Anyone who doesn't know what modern chess notation is certainly didn't know Fischer--safe to say. Unless maybe you waited his table or somethng. Filipina bar girl perhaps? Mama Manilla!
Literature? Perhaps yr thinking of your year as ..a thea-turr major--where was it, like Sac state or some shit. Death of a Salesman dewd. Before you flew off to Manilla ...and b-grrl , or was it... ladyboy work? Buenas noches Senor Feescher. ..
Oh,and I wasn't going to mention Fischer's anti-semitism --like Protocols of the Elders of Zion level--but now that you brought BF up, you're ....copping to that eh, LadyBoy Hoss? Some LDS types are rabid ant-sem.
Good Grief J! Youth excuses a lot, but some phrases are just part of the lexicon.
Double points to ndspinelli for tying a post here to the theme at EBL's
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