I loved my Uncle Herman. But that is not to say that Aunt Lily didn't love him too. After all they were married for 550 years. Ever since Uncle Herman jumped off of Dr. Frankenstein's table they had been a couple.
Of course that was the problem with their sex life. They had did everything so many times that they constantly had to find ways to spice it up. They would role play. She would be the housewife and he would be the grave robber bringing a body for her to dissect. He would be wanderer home from the sea and she would be the Siren to seduce him. Which was easy because the Siren was a succubus and Aunt Lily's grandmother. She hated Ulysses by the way. Said he only wanted to do it back door.
It could get uncomfortable when they would role play through the house. Nobody want's to catch your surrogate parents having kinky sex when you come home from college. Especially when Aunt Lily gave him a Transylvania Steamer in the living room.
What a mess!
7 comments:
You know, that whole coprophilia thing must be an East Coast thing. I only ever hear about it from you and you're authentic Brooklyn.
Forget coprophilia, I'm more interested in ricpic's plan for dealing with the wild hairs a good barber manages to tame and hold at bay.
Amid all the lather about Crack, ricpic announces that he's spent an unorthodox $50 on a personal groomer to avoid barbershop shenanigans and what shows up here?
Lily on the Transylvanian Steamer!
When what could have been added, for another $20 bucks, was the 4 and 1/2 star nose and ear trimmer with a curved, narrow head that allows it "to reach more parts of the ear." Not exactly sure how many ear parts it needs to reach to earn that rating, but this baby does the job. And don't forget to throw in the hand mirro for some ambiance while cleaning up those brows!
Why? Because there's no sense in resetting the a door without considering a trim set of steps.
Transylvania Steamer? Is that a Hot Karl?
El Pollo Raylan said...
You know, that whole coprophilia thing must be an East Coast thing. I only ever hear about it from you and you're authentic Brooklyn.
Japs and the Germans, but since Troop is italian (i think) then that makes him a part of the Axis Powers of Poop. A trifecta.
A Transylvania steamer is when you cut someone's jugular open.
Where do you learn that kind of sick shit, blake?
UD
Undead Dictionary
Oh. I was hoping it was from Ed Wood.
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