Saturday, October 12, 2013

Portion Control

 
 
Portion Control to Major Tom
Portion Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on

Portion Control to Major Tom
Commencing countdown, engines on
Check ignition and may God’s love be with you

Spoken:
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Lift-off

This is Portion Control to Major Tom
You’ve really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare

“This is Major Tom to Portion Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here
am I sitting round on the can
Far above the world
My Appetite Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do

Though I’m past one hundred thousand calories
 I’m feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much (she knows!)
Portion Control to Major Tom
Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear....

“ am I sitting on the can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do.



9 comments:

The Dude said...

Welcome to the reality that many of us have lived in for years. We have been waiting for you.

Cody Jarrett said...

Is that a recent picture? Cuz it looks like you're shoveling with both hands.

Check out one of Dr. Joel Fuhrman's books. He'll let you eat several pounds of vegetables a day.

If you can.

ricpic said...

Is that tuna you're putting on the lettuce leaf? When I was a kid, at the big family get-togethers they'd pacify me and the other kids by handing us "cigars" of lettuce leaves wrapped around tuna salad. It worked on me. I walked around all puffed up chomping on my "cigar." The other kids probably weren't so naive.

chickelit said...

When I worked food service high school, "portion control" was a buzzword." But it related to the vendors of food rather than the consumers of it. These days vendors can afford to supersize portions, forcing consumers to self limit.

chickelit said...

When I was a kid, at the big family get-togethers they'd pacify me and the other kids by handing us "cigars" of lettuce leaves wrapped around tuna salad. It worked on me. I walked around all puffed up chomping on my "cigar."

It work for Bill Clinton too. He was kind of a big kid.

ndspinelli said...

Your face has lost its bloat. It looks like your wedding photos. Happy anniversary to you and your better half.

Icepick said...

I thought maybe you'd go this direction.

Trooper York said...

That bowl is a paltry severing of tuna with a whole bunch of celery to be put in a lettuce leaf.

Not a whole of food since lettuce and celery is mostly water.

chickelit said...

Not a whole of food since lettuce and celery is mostly water.

You're neglecting its cellulose--indigestible to humans--but good for pooping.