Hey it is Columbus Day weekend. Did you know that old Chris carried all of his charts and his compas and his sextant in his man purse?So to honor this famous dead white guy we are having a twenty percent off sale on all handbags, pocketbooks this labor weekend.
Just in case one of you dudes need a man purse.
14 comments:
When my sextant broke I was inconsolable.
A friend of mine carrries a man purse. He's enormous. I wouldn't call him any names.
I'm pretty sure he was Italian. Are Italians considered white these days? What's the world coming to. next thing you know they'll be wanting an Italian History Month.
I'm pretty sure he was Italian.
Why is that even disputed? I've seen the house in Genoa, Italy where he was born.
One of the highest compliments I ever received was a colleague who had just finished off some pizza or pasta that I had brought in to work to share with everyone (small office of about 10 people). He closed his eyes, chewed for a while, and muttered, "You people aren't white." I'm not Italian, just love their food.
My ex-business partner (parted on friendly terms when I bought him out) is Italian. When he first took over our restaurant in this sleepy little southern town, a guy came in and demanded to know where he was from. When he assured him he was American (from Ohio), the guy asked him if he was going to start cooking stuff in that olive oil.
I don't know that you can categorize Italians as white. I'm Irish; the same can be said of them.
He wasn't from Genoa.
Well his salami was.
But that's why he carried a man purse.
Columbus was a first class douche bag. Nobody thought the world was flat (no literate person anyway), and sailors certainly knew it. His problem was that he sucked at math. He thought the earth was only 8,000 miles in circumference, a third of its true size. That's why everyone laughed at him. He couldn't possibly carry enough supplies to make the journey.
Well, he proved them wrong...sort of. He died thinking he had actually made it to the Orient, convinced that the earth was as small as he calculated.
The Al Gore of his era.
The greater honor would be a toss-up-
Columbus Ohio or a man-purse sale.
The whole Columbus thing went very wrong for me when they cast George Depardieu in the title role. Surely there must be one good Italian actor who had busted out of mafia roles.
Practically anyone who had their portrait painted in those days was a douchebag. Columbus was worse than most, being too cruel even for the 15th century, and too self-pitying for the 21st.
But, hey, his family got 15%.
"Thanks, Pops! I don't care where you think you went, just as long as they've got silver mines!"
So his math was wrong, he had a theory and he went out and tested it. We're all the unintended consequences.
Columbus sailed for india found Salvador instead
He shook hands with some indians and soon they all were dead
They got TB and typhoid and athletes foot, diptheria and the flu
'scuse me great nations comin' through!
They got TB and typhoid and athletes foot, diptheria and the flu
Yeah, but they the "West" syphilis in return and Montezuma’s revenge.
I mean think about it: syphilis drove Nietzsche crazy!
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