"So what do I care? I just want to know if you can do the job. You found those broads to get rid of Herman Cain so I need you to find something on Newt."
"But he already has a lot of stuff. He divorced his wife when she had cancer. That is as bad as me when I dropped my girlfriend when she got the ass cancer because I was banging her in the ass with my dick dipped in nicotine."
"Really why would you do that?"
"Are you kidding? That feels great. Cool and refreshing. Feels like a cigarette should."
"You're a freaky bastard. I would've used that old guy Barnaby but he is senile and the fat guy got stuck behind the wheel of his Lincoln. So you're it. What should I call you?"
"Call me Hairy Balls. That can be my code name. But I don't even know your name?"
"Me. My name is Karl Rove. But nobody can know I am masterminding the Romney campaign. You can call me by my code name: Seven Machos."
36 comments:
Is Seven Machos a trickster?
I was banging her in the ass with my dick dipped in nicotine.
Blowing smoke rings is a more subliminal, "oral" expression of that nasty impulse.
Because my rare clumber could not walk temporarily I fed him hand to mouth and put his water bowl right under his mouth and he drank I am thrilled.
Thank God for little pleasures.
My rare clumber is the longest relationship I have ever have and I was crying compulsively this evening because he seemed to be in pain.
I love animals so much, especially dogs.
I was so yelling and screaming when he got out side to take a dump and piss.
Really, it is the little things in life that make it worthwhile.
He constantly looks at me for support.
And that is all I can ask.
Once he goes I am fucked.
Titus, You should read that Mark Levin book about his dog Pepsi.
Dogs are the best. Lying flamers are the bane of comment threads.
Agree with 60grit--I think it was Mark Twain who said, if there are not dogs in heaven I would rather go to hell (rough paraphrase)
I have always loved big dogs--two great danes and an English Mastiff--unfortunately the bigger the dog the shorter the life span. They are the best companions. Always there for you and totally forgiving of my human frailty. I no longer have them, but they will be with me forever.
And for Titus: do hope your clumber will be OK--were I a bit more religious, I would say a prayer, but I dont think I have the connection with the big guy.
Agnes Sligh Turnbull wrote "Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really."
As a person who really likes dogs I cannot agree more.
"Dick dipped in nicotine" I believe there are many phrases Trooper pens that have NEVER been written previously. Many, for good reason!!
My Golden Retriever just turned 15. He's deaf, mostly blind, and his hips are bad. I'll have to put him down..probably after the Holidays. It is an increasing dread, but he doesn't deserve to live in pain.
Mr Spinelli--toughest decision you will ever make--I had to do with three of my companions--my heart goes out.
Mr Spinelli--I lost a companion three years ago--a small dog--had siezures at 2 in the morning. Took Buddy to the vet and after a while the vet told me it was hopeless. It was a bright november day in memphis with the beautiful fall sun--I took buddy out of the cage and carried him outside so he could at least see a beautiful day. Didnt seem right to put him down in the sterile confines of vets office.
I noted this on the Althouse blog, and Madison Man, whom I regard as a real decent guy, was kind enough to say: You will find a new companion, and you will look into his eyes, and see the companion you lost.
It was a very touching sentiment, and I will always remember it.
I lost a beloved 14 year old dog 4 years ago - she was fine, then one day didn't want to go for walkies. Didn't eat that day, then died later that night. I was with her every step of the way - it was heart wrenching. Her compressed morbidity prevented me from having to make a difficult decision. She too, was hard of hearing, walked gingerly, didn't run so much she once did, and gray around the muzzle, so in those regards we were twins. But she was fine right up until she wasn't.
The good news that came out of my profound grief was that someone at market knew I had lost her and brought me a new puppy. She has turned out to be the best dog I have ever had and while my sadness at the loss of my other dog will never go away, I do enjoy every day with my new dog. She is an absolute treat. Part Border Collie - the best dogs ever.
60--take madison man's advice and look into her eyes and you will see the dog you lost.
I love dogs. Put a dog in your trunk for 30 minutes and see his reaction when you open it back up. Do the same with your sister and note the difference in her reaction.
I hate cats. Cats are never mentioned in the Bible. I take that as an omen.
Dogs are wonderful--all they need is an open window when you take them for a drive. What is it about an open window and a dog.
Thanks, Roger. My old dog was great and had a wonderful life while enriching my life in ways that are beyond measure.
My young dog required that I relearn everything I thought I knew about dog behavior. Being part Border Collie she required much more attention and was too smart to fall for any of the tricks that I used to keep my Labs in line. She is an amazing animal, and I am, as always, grateful that she is in my life.
My kids want a dog. My wife wants a French Bulldog. I said that is fine provided I get to name it Guy Lafleur.
I hate cats. Cats are never mentioned in the Bible.
Probably because they were too busy being worshipped as gods themselves.
(previous comment deleted for typo!)
Legal Insurrection has the video you seek.
http://legalinsurrection.com/2011/12/its-a-big-sometimes-bad-world-out-there/
When my dog got old, she got cranky. Did stuff she knew was wrong, but didn't care anymore. When my sister got married, we brought home the goodies from the reception, then the family went out for dinner by ourselves. My wife and I had a long drive ahead of us, so we came back to my parents' house to change and hit the road.
When we opened the door, the dog scooted out of the kitchen, where she had helped herself to some of the food spread out. I couldn't bring myself to scold her--it was too much temptation and she was too old to restrain herself anymore. So, we rearranged the stuff so it wasn't obvious what happened, blocked the door so the dog couldn't get back in there, and left. We never told the rest of the family what happened.
It was the last act of kindness I was able to do for the dog.
Thanks very Much Roger J. I'm torn as to whether use the vet or my Glock. I'm leaning toward the former, mostly because that's my bride's preference. His love is unconditional. He loves my bride, kids, the neighbor kids. But he is my shadow, he sees me as the alpha. He has been the neighborhood dog. Always patient..a kid could put a stick in his eye and he wouldn't bite. He did like to hump though..up until a few years ago when he couldn't get on those hind legs. My kids named him Kozmo, they loved Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld.
The dog stories here mean a lot, thanks all.
Fred, what about the Rocket..MAURICE RICHARD!
A true friend would do the deed for you.
There are times when it's okay for a man to cry. When his best friend drowns trying to save his dog from his truck sinking in the river is one of those times.
When her teeth scrape you is another.
Windbag--thanks--great vid.
I have a 10 year old Lab mix that I should have named Fido - I have never seen a more faithful dog in my life. He would kill or die trying to protect me - kind of over the top when he nips a family member, but hey, when they aren't looking I say "Good dog" and give him a treat.
My old dog, the one that died, loved to roam. She lusted after the horizon like no dog I ever had. Could not be contained. Her last walkabout came very near the end of her life. She and my other Lab escaped and went rompin' and stompin' around the neighborhood. I lit out after them, but it took me a while to find them. The old dog had worn out and couldn't walk any farther. She was reclining on a neighbor's driveway, taking in the sun, pretty as you please. Fido was right by her side - the pack was intact - he would not abandon a fellow dog in her time of need. I picked up the 65 pound old dog and carried her home. Sadly, or perhaps gladly, she never escaped again and that one last gasp of freedom was indeed the last that she would know. She died not long after that, memories of bunnies she chased and compost she rolled in accompanied her to doggy heaven.
As Harry Truman said, if you want a friend, get a dog. I lived in the scablands of eastern WA and took the danes out every day to walk the coulees and splash in corral lake. I scattered their ashes at corral lake. I think they would have appreciated that.
The last dog I had was run over by a car. Crawled back home, and I had to put him down with my pistol. When I originally got the dog license for him, I told the woman that it was a mutt. She wrote down mute. I called him Larry, which was short for Lawrence of Star Prairie. If someone would ask what kind of breed he was, I would say he's a registered mute. "Wow" people would say.
We have friends who live on top of a mountain with the husband's dad, a retired veterinarian, in the next house about 100 yards away. The friend's daughter had a morning routine of starting her car to let it warm up. Their ancient lab slept under the car, and when she started it, that was her signal to start dragging her bones out from under the car.
One morning, the girl went out and started it, then came back a few minutes later, and backed over poor Maggie. She heard the yelps and put it in park and jumped out to see what had happened. She had stopped on top of poor Maggie. Grandpa was called to the scene, where he and his magic hypodermic put the poor thing out of her misery. As insensitive as I am, I still don't joke about that.
He put a kitten of ours down after I ran over it. For years our kids affectionately referenced the event, saying, "Yeah, and remember the time you killed our little kitty?" No malice in their intent, just the facts ma'am. It always gave him a chuckle, though.
The kitten incident was an accident, btw.
Mohammed liked cats. He once cut off the sleeve of his robe rather than wake a sleeping cat. And Mohammed hated dogs. And Mohammed liked sleeping with a nine year old girl.
I like cats. Have, as Ellis in No Country for Old Men says, several. We all get along just fine. Cats, dogs and me.
I don't like cats.
They are sneaky and always up to shit.
Also, in the city they are fucking loud when they are out on the streets horny.
I like all pets. I learned this from my daughter, who is an animal magnet.
Cats are never mentioned in the Bible. I take that as an omen.
Plenty of the Big Cat though, with the Main Man himself ID'd as one of their own.
Every cat knows Lions Rule. The gods of Egypt stuff is chump change compared to infinity and beyond.
I think there are lions in the bible, but you are right, no house cats.
Cats are snakes with fur.
Lion of Judah is the name of the main character in the second half of the Bible, was given by the main character in the first.
Which is how some believe Aslan entered Narnia.
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