Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Hell needs a new PA announcer


(Hell’s Broadcast Booth at the PA microphone)
Lucifer: Well let’s keep going. Farrah you’re up next. Get your sweet buns up here and start reading.
Farrah Fawcett: I don’t understand. Why am I here? What did I ever do to deserve going to hell? I mean I was mean to Jaclyn Smith but she was a fat cow. And I once set Shelly Hack on fire by accident. Why am I here?
Lucifer: Why are you here? What are you a moron? Weren’t you married to Lee Majors?
Farrah Fawcett: Yes what does that have to do with it?
Lucifer: Don’t you know who Lee Major’s is you dumb twat?
Farrah Fawcett: The Six Million Dollar man?
Lucifer: You really are as dumb as you look. Lee Majors got to bang you when you were at your hottest. And Heather Thomas when she was at her hottest. And a teenage Linda Evans. He even had Miss Barbara Stanwyck give him a rim job. Do you what that means?
Farrah Fawcett: No what does it mean?
Lucifer: LEE MAJORS IS GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Farrah Fawcett: OH NOOOOOO!!! I dumped God! For Ryan O’Neal!
Lucifer: Take her away boys…..she just doesn’t cut it…(two demons grab her and drag her away) ….send over to Rock Hudson … can spend eternity sucking on him to get him hard….it will be punishment enough for both of them.
Farrah Fawcett: NOOO….PLEASE HELP ME…I WILL DO ANYTHING……
Lucifer: You should of thought of that before you dissed God baby. Ok who’s next.

11 comments:

I'm Full of Soup said...

Now that is funny. Lee Majors will be happy to hear this too.

He had Linda Evans when she was young? He is one lucky guy.

ricpic said...

One calculating guy if the Stanwyck rimjob is anything to go by.

chickelit said...

Wasn't Lee Majors the guy with the bionical appendage?

Hoosier Daddy said...

Only at Trooper York will you ever see "Barbara Stanwyck" and "rim job" not only in the same sentence but the entire conversation.

KCFleming said...

God would have dumped her soon enough anyway, so I would have thought purgatory sufficient.

chickelit said...

Trooper, check your email!

chickelit said...

I just learned from Darcy that cousin Ron is in the University of Michigan Ann Arbor hospital with pneumonia and kidney issues. He's very sick, but is better than he was when he went in. (He had been slowly sputtering out on Twitter) Darcy spoke him today and he wanted people to know.

Trooper York said...

My prayers are with him.

chickelit said...

Amba tweeted a bunch of Ron news here.

chickelit said...

link

Capt. Schmoe said...

Dude, that is just wrong! If making bad man choices is a ticket to hell, most of our wives are en-route!!

Farrah was an "Angel"