Friday, September 4, 2009

Tyler Perry's White House of Pain,



(Family quarters, upstairs at the White House)
Michelle Obama: (walking in back from the Executive office building) Mama I‘m home!
Marian Robinson(Michelle’s mom) Thank God you are home. Your Auntie Madea is on the warpath. You best get that skinny ass half a cracker husband of yours up here.
Michelle Obama: Now Mama don’t start that up again, what’s the problem this time. I am very tied. The Republicans are stopping us from passing our health care bill even though they only have 10 Senators and 50 representatives. They are racist bastards, all sixty of them!
Marian Robinson: Well of course they were with that lame ass husband of yours running things. He couldn’t lead a bunch of crack heads in getting high when they are sitting in a crack house. Get that fool down here right now I want to straighten out his pale ass.
Michelle Obama (picks up phone) Oh Mama, please…..Hi, can you ask the President to come upstairs. Thank you.
President Barrack Obama: (Comes rushing in) Is every thing OK? Are the girls all right?
Michelle Obama: My mother wants to talk to you.
President Barrack Obama (mutters under his breath) Oh shit. What now!
Marian Robinson: What did you say you skinny assed fool?
President Barrack Obama: Nothing Mother. You do know that I am President of the United States. You might show me just a little respect.
Marian Robinson: You better watch your ass you Jimmie Walker Dy-no-mite looking mofro.
President Barrack Obama: Now mother please, I am very busy. I have to get my speech ready for the children.
Marian Robinson: That’s what I want to talk to you about fool! I don’t know what to do with you….. Madea come on out here!
Madea: (comes into the room) There he is that fool boy. What are you doing making a speech to all the little chilren’s. Who the hell do you think you are…Willie fucking Wonka? You might be the chocolate president but you shouldn’t be messing with the kiddees on the first day of school. Wat’s up with that?
President Barack Obama: Auntie Madea, I have to talk to the children so they know what is what and they can tell their parents. Those nasty racist republican parents are trying to tell them to hate me and I have to do something to stop their influence on their children.
Madea: Don’t give that nonsense. Somebody else tried that. Soupy Sales. He tried to get the chilren’s to do something that their parents didn’t want them to do and it got him fired. You can’t get between a momma and her chile….don’t you know anything you dumb ass.
President Barack Obama: I don’t have to take this from you Madea, I am the President (he flees out of the room).
Madea: Where you going you pansy ass fool? Marian get the frying pan. I got’s to make this right. Somebody has to protect the chilren’s.

4 comments:

Trooper York said...

I think he is going to tell all the children to go home and go into their mommies pocketbook and take out all of the pieces of paper with the pictures of old dead white men on it and mail to him in Washington. Because he would no better what to do with it than the silly racist parents would.

Just sayn'

blake said...

I bet they're gonna play Blue's Clues!

chickelit said...

My favorite series. Glad it made the cut.

Anonymous said...

Willie Wonka. Brilliant.