Tyler Perry's White House of Pain

(Hallway of the Family quarters, upstairs at the White House)

Madea: Whose that up this time of night? I can’t even get a glass of hot milk without running into someone in the hallway while I am in my nightie.

Malia Ann Obama: It’s me Auntie Madea.

Madea: Why you up at this hour chile? Have you been crying?

Malia Ann Obama: I am so upset Aunty. Daddy promised he would take us to the MTV awards and then he didn’t. He fibbed Aunty.
Madea: Why you want to go to see that hippty hop junk. I mean maybe your daddy is right not to send you to see those pimps and ho’s.
Malia Ann Obama: But daddy promised. I know that nasty redneck cracker congressman said he was a liar and got in a lot of trouble. But daddy lied to me. He said that me and Sasha could go. We wanted to see Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez and all our favorites. A daddy shouldn’t lie to you auntie, should he?
Madea: No he shouldn’t chile. But he been very busy stealing all the car companies and trying to take over the medicine so he can get rid of all the old white peoples that remind him of his cracker granny. But I’m gonna make sure that he makes it up to you. I’m gonna make him get you tickets to American Idol. That muff diver Ellen is on it now and I bet Hillary knows her. He can make her get us tickets. It’s not like she has anything else to do. And if he don’t, well I am gonna open up a can of whoop ass Madea style. Now you don’t worry and go off to bed.

Malia Ann Obama: Thank you Auntie. I feel better now that you’re here to take care of us.

Madea: You’re welcome sugar. Now sweet dreams and I will see you tomorrow. I think we are having waffles for breakfast again