For our new poll we have to decide what is the most likely thing to happen when Trooper York is out in the wilds of California next week:
He gets a big burger at Bob's Big Boy.
He goes to the Dodger game and yells at Joe Torre for nine innings.
He has to get mouth to mouth from one of the Baywatch Babes after drowing in the Pacific ocean.
He gets frisked in a frisky way by Police Woman Angie Dickensen.
Leah Remini cuts in front of him and Blake at the deli line and he has to spank her.
Rude comments and stupid shit welcome.
16 comments:
OK. What's the most likely what?
Sorry I was interrupted and had to sell some bloomers.
He gets the Swine Flu on the plane and sits in a garlic-smelling, no-speakee emergency room for the night waiting to get an IV, and wakes up next to Bobby Abreau's mom.
And sells her a world famous wrap dress.
None of the above you are far more likely to:
1. Spend 90 minutes in traffic to travel 20 miles.
2. Getting hit by a non-english speaking person with no license, no insurance and driving an un-registered car. (especially in the garment district)
3. Having a much better hamburger at In-n-out.
4. Getting on the wrong freeway and ending up in the land of the dirt people (San Bernardino / Riverside county)
5. Getting mugged at Dockweiler State Beach - The shore to the 'hood.
Have a great trip, then leave.
Troop hits his groove early and Joe Torre beats the shit out of him with a catcher's mask by the third inning. Troop lies in a coma for three weeks, then slips away only to awaken a the host of the PA announcer in Hell award show, co-hosted by Sara Jessica Parker. After four months of that, Troop is returned to Earth as Carrie Nation...and he's bulimic.
I know it's highly unlikely you'll go to In-N-Out Burger.
Dude, they even sell cool nostaglia stuff there.
Once upon a time guys used to remove the the "B" and the final "r" from the bumper stick.
I just thought you'd appreciate that.
The Bob's Big Boy thing is real unlikely. They closed all of them down, except the one in Burbank (50 miles north of HB), and I think they're re-opening, but I don't know if there are any near HB.
I thought burger joints were outlawed in the land of fruits and nuts. What is likely is that Troop will get a great Mexican meal at an original joint- I hear they own the state. There is no deli in LA is there? I thought all the Jews in LA went to NYC for deli.
Then he will probably go to one of those health spas where they wrap you in sea weed and Saran wrap and put pickles over your eyes. Then a mud bath and a shower.
Of course there is the obligatory side trip to Mecca- Rodeo Drive. There he and the lovely wife will shop and drop a bundle so they can achieve the real California look.
Oh, and it is very likely he and the missus will partake of the great California past time- cosmetic surgery.
He may be a whole new person on his return. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Troop will end up in Pink's, where all the homesick New Yorkers present or ex go.
I say you try to eat too many Dodger dogs, get sick and have to be carried to the Dodger Stadium infirmary while Joe Torre is losing another series to the Phils.
Since I am a Phils fan, the Baywatch girls are all over me. Oh and Angie Dickinson takes the seat you just vacated but leaves in disgust because you left it with so many stadium food stains. Heh.
I do not make this stuff up!
Most likely, he asks?
Most likely you will board and debark and then board and debark again.
That's how it usually goes.
Soon enough, you will be reintroduced to Brooklyn where they know your growl and scratch your belly anyway.
I don't care to talk about what you look like on your back with your legs doing that thing that only doggy legs can do.
That's private.
Trooper will meet Meade's sister. The rest will be history repeating itself.
yell at Joe Torre for an entire game..
final answer!
...all of the above, sort of...
Trooper is waiting for a table at the Big Boy restaurant, when Torre and Angie Dickinson enter. The hostess, Leah Remini, seats Torre and Angie first, prompting Trooper to begin spewing venomous insults at Torre. Trying to get the hostess' attention, Trooper slaps her on the buttocks, which results in Angie stepping in and slugging Trooper, causing him to fall back and hit his head on the foyer tile. Angie rifles through the unconscious Trooper's jacket to find some sort of identification, while Leah dials 9-1-1. In the interim, several of the waitresses, all retired Baywatch babes, rush in to administer CPR. Trooper awakens, not knowing if he's in heaven or hell.
I guess my choice is obvious.
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