I always hated Halloween. Along with Christmas it is among my least favorite holidays. It has become so commercial and greedy that it is just not worth getting out of bed for. We closed the store every Halloween since we opened because we knew we would not do any business. What happens is thousands and I mean thousands of kids show up looking for candy. Now I really don't mind the little kids which I could deal with but the big douche bags who are twelve and thirteen come around and get rowdy. And nowadays you can't even hit them. I mean in the old days if they stepped out of line you could rap them one in the chops and when they got home and their parents heard what they did they would catch another beating. But now they will sue your ass off.
The first year after we were married the wife got all carried away like she has a tendency to do. She decorated our house with all kinds of lights and skeletons and witchs and stuff and made all these little bags chock full of candy. She gave out all the stuff and the little kids were delighted. I stood outside with my upstairs neighbor who is over six feet two just like me as the kids came up to get their treats. (He was interested in meeting some of the single moms, but that's another story). Around seven thirty or so the worm turned. The teenagers and tweens from the projects came around. Their costumes were basically Air Jordan, hoodies and a JD card. One kid takes the package of candy, looks at it, and pegs it across the street. He goes "What's this shit...give me ten dollars." I look at him and say "Hey kid look out, I am gonna scare the shit out of you....here's a job application...now get the fuck out of here." He decided that discretion was the best move so he went with his crew to the next house down the block. The wife kind of soured on the experience after another hour of similar encounters.
We have to open on Saturday because it is our biggest day and we can't take a chance that a destination shopper might miss out. But I intend to close early. I have a bunch of little bags for the little kids.
Oh and I bought some apples for the bigger losers. The only problem is that CVS only has the BIC disposables. But I am working on it.
Happy Halloween!!!!
18 comments:
Too bad the kids seem so nasty in your 'hood. Kids make or break the event in my opinion. We have a nice mix here. I just shut out the lights after about 9 o'clock.
My work is having another costume contest. I actually resent adults usurping yet another little piece of childhood, kind of like the way they took over newspaper delivery routes. Invariably it's the childless 30 nothing professionals who put the most effort into it. I've boycotted the whole "at-work" thing ever since I was denied a prize for being politically incorrect. But that's another story.
Can you tell I'm cranky?
I mean, did Atticus Finch dress up like a little kid on Halloween?
Did Boo Radley?
That's the thing. It is not a cool holiday like Memorial day where you just hang out with the family and barbeque and relax and celebrate the summer. Or 4th of July where you celebrate the birth of our country.
The hipster dofous douche bags are exactly who fuck it up. With their stupid Halloween parties.
Halloween should be for little kids. After you are twelve years old you should get over it already!
I will have to do guard duty at the door handing out candy and not letting people in the store. What a fucked up deal.
Dias de los muertos is big out here, even though I see lots of little Mexican kids out the night before. It's an interesting holiday because though nominally related to the Catholic All Saint's Day, it also has pagan (indigeneous) roots-kinda like Christmas trees at Christmas.
In 2004 we were at the bro-in-law's place on Halloween. The kids all went trick-or-treating through the generous, upper-middle class neighborhood. Every, and I mean EVERY, house with a Kerry/Edwards sign in the yard was dark. Nobody home. I started yelling, "Hey, open up in there. We're here to redistribute the wealth." The houses with Bush/Cheney signs? Full-sized candy bars, not those little bite-sized, cheap ass sugar nuggets.
Trooper York: Halloween should be for little kids. After you are twelve years old you should get over it already!
The sooner kids are brought into adult responsibilities and made to earn a living the better. Fun things should be for those who work for them.
That's why on Halloween I'm going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show and scream until I become mute.
After you are twelve years old you should get over it already!
I still have my Wisconsin Child Labor Permit issued when I was 12. I needed one to have a paper route back then.
Also, it's the kids who are supposed to put the razor blades in the fruit.
That way nobody hands out fruit.
I hate Halloween too, although I must admit there is a piece of me that is embarrassed to say that.
I too love the part when the little kids stand there and say trick or treat and could care less about what you are giving them, because for them, it is much more about getting dressed up and going out there and doing something they rarely get to do. I even love watching the parents they bring with them who stand on the sidewalks to be sure they are polite, not to mention safe.
When they are old enough to come without their parents, it seems they are old enough to be "cool and rude". No utter of trick or treat and only the occasional thank you. Teens don't even bother to dress up anymore. They stick out a pillowcase.
Halloween on a weekend is a dreadful affair. Parents drive vans into the neighborhood from parts unknown.
Because of these negative feelings about Halloween, I have taken to buying the treat that I most want as a leftover, in the event there are any.
Last year I bought M&M's. This year I bought pretzels shaped like bats.
This year I bought pretzels shaped like bats.
I'll bet those are really good frozen!
Heard about the razor blades in the Apples for 35 years. Never knew anybody who got one. Kinda hard to do isn't it? And easy to spot if you're careful.
Parents in my suburb don't go for trick or treats - too "risky". The kids all go to adult supervised Parties.
And I always hated Halloween too.
"I'll bet those are really good frozen!"
I laughed my ass off at this comment, because it was right on the money.
It was two years ago that I bought Snickers, because they froze so well, and would therefore provide me with many months of chocolate, peanut, caramel joy.
A year ago it was the M&M's because they were my personal favorite candy. No sense in freezing what you can eat in short order.
This year it's pretzels because they are my all time favorite snack, that OBTW, I haven't had in my house for at least six months because I ate too many M&M's last year.
Hell, if I "Juggled for Jesus", we might have a few more Christians.
I love Halloween.
Old enough to go on their own? I was four when I went on my own the first time.
Running around in a mask like an idiot? Being rewarded for that with candy? What's not to like?
Oh, and I was one of those d-bag kids who finished the Halloween candy right around Easter.
I love Halloween! I love costume parties. I love candy. My favorite holiday by far.
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