Lucifer: Hot diggity dog. I just heard. Captain Lou Albano just died. Forcas get in here. I want to see the captain so he can set up a rasslin show.
Forcas: I am sorry O Lord and Master but Captain Lou Albano is not here in hell. He went straight to heaven.
Lucifer: What the fuck? What in my name is going on here? Who is our liaison this month? Get him in here. I want to know what the fuck is going on.
Forcas: I think it is Gabriel this month.
Lucifer: Get his holy ass in here. Right now.
(Forcas picks up the hot line and calls for the liaison to heaven…he whispers into the phone and hangs up…suddenly there is a puff of smoke and an angel clad all in white appears)
Gabriel: I am here fallen one. Why have you summoned me?
Lucifer: What the hell is going on up there? Is the big guy crazy? I hear Captain Lou Albano went straight up to heaven. How can that be?
Gabriel: It’s simple. All the bad stuff he was supposed to do was an act. Capt Lou was a holy man. In fact not many people know this but he was actually the reincarnation of Siddhārtha Gautama. He should have been the Dali Lama instead of that creep they have now. But they got mixed up at the stork exchange and everything got screwed up. Plus the old man loves wrestling.
Lucifer: You got to be shitting me. Who the fuck is going to run the wrestling shows down here in hell? Next thing you are gonna tell me he’s gonna keep Vince McMahon?
Gabriel: No, I pretty sure he is scheduled to burn in hell. Just for that phony football league alone. But you don’t get Albano. Sorry. (Gabriel disappears in a puff of smoke).
Lucifer: Shit. I haven’t been this disappointed since he decided to keep Phil Rizzuto. I loved that little guinea. Alright Forcas set up the usual match. I can't wait for Shatner and Nimoy anymore.
Forcas: Right chief. (steps up to the microphone) Will Abe Lincoln, Genghis Kahn, Susan B Anthony and FDR report to the wrestling room for a Hell Death Cage Match.
Lucifer: Sometimes being in hell is well just hell.
(Forcas picks up the hot line and calls for the liaison to heaven…he whispers into the phone and hangs up…suddenly there is a puff of smoke and an angel clad all in white appears)
Gabriel: I am here fallen one. Why have you summoned me?
Lucifer: What the hell is going on up there? Is the big guy crazy? I hear Captain Lou Albano went straight up to heaven. How can that be?
Gabriel: It’s simple. All the bad stuff he was supposed to do was an act. Capt Lou was a holy man. In fact not many people know this but he was actually the reincarnation of Siddhārtha Gautama. He should have been the Dali Lama instead of that creep they have now. But they got mixed up at the stork exchange and everything got screwed up. Plus the old man loves wrestling.
Lucifer: You got to be shitting me. Who the fuck is going to run the wrestling shows down here in hell? Next thing you are gonna tell me he’s gonna keep Vince McMahon?
Gabriel: No, I pretty sure he is scheduled to burn in hell. Just for that phony football league alone. But you don’t get Albano. Sorry. (Gabriel disappears in a puff of smoke).
Lucifer: Shit. I haven’t been this disappointed since he decided to keep Phil Rizzuto. I loved that little guinea. Alright Forcas set up the usual match. I can't wait for Shatner and Nimoy anymore.
Forcas: Right chief. (steps up to the microphone) Will Abe Lincoln, Genghis Kahn, Susan B Anthony and FDR report to the wrestling room for a Hell Death Cage Match.
Lucifer: Sometimes being in hell is well just hell.
8 comments:
Thank you for not disparaging Farrah
My pleasure. She couldn't wrestle anyway.
Of course she could be a manager like Miss Elizabeth.
The smart money is on Abe with that log splitter move. Titus is familiar with a log splitter move, but I think it's a different one.
Yes but Surak knows the Vulcan cock pinch. Very effective in the clinches.
The newest "South Park" had Kyle's younger brother Ike in a parody of "The Sixth Sense".
"I see dead celebrities."
A whole bunch of them were on a plane (get it?) to Heaven, that kept getting held up because of Michael Jackson. I didn't recognize a lot of 'em.
Billy Mays was scary, tho'.
"Plus the old man loves wrestling."
I love that God loves wrestling.
Heck I can still remember when I loved God and wrestling, and boxing too!
Now you have me thinking, Troop. Where did he lose me? It wasn't on football even.
I'm guessing it was double header baseball. Most likely in some overtime game.
Double headers are cruel and unusual treatment.
If they can pitch Sabathia on 3 days rest I think they've got it. He was awesome last night.
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