So today was just about the best day of filming that we had. A lot of fucked up things happened with the production but we rose above it and made some great chicken salad.
The premise was that we are fixing up our window display for spring so they decided we needed a road trip to Manhattan to a mannequin store. Now they told me that a French guy owned it and I had to laugh. I hate the French. I had a bunch of jokes ready. "Hey we can't leave a French mannequin in the store because it would rape the maid." You know witty topical humor like that there. I was ready to rip into the guy.
But the funny thing was that owner was a great guy. He was a modest unassuming tough businessman. He didn't even want to be on camera. He let his salesman get all the airtime.He just greeted us at the door and handed us off to his salesman.
The reason why it was great television is because it was what we do best. Me and Lisa doing stupid shit to make everybody laugh. You see that is how we got the show in the first place. Not contrived over produced bullshit that they have been forcing us to do.
First we took stupid photos with all the crazy mannequins. Then I went around put all of them in obscene positions where they were feeling up each others breasts and stuff. It was pretty funny. I threw in some milder jokes but I guess my sensibility skews too old. I told the salesman guy "Hey if they owner gives me a discount I will get him an autograph from Jerry Lewis." He goes "I don't know who that is." I said "Oh he owns the Dallas Cowboys and he is very popular in France." So I had to dumb it down a bit. I said stuff like "Oh this must be a French mannequin because it has hair under the arms." I tried to bring the stupid.
We had to go down to the basement to get the plus sized mannequins. We did a lot of good shit with the body parts strew around the basement and what not. Then we had to carry them upstairs and haggled with him for a while and ended up buying two of them. The plot point was that I was too cheap to pay the $100 delivery charge and we had to take them home ourselves in a taxi. So we took them all apart and put them in plastic bags like a dismember body from the pork store on the Sopranos. We carried them outside and got in a cab but we had a lot of trouble packing them up and we ended up with the legs of the mannequins sticking out of the window of the taxi. It was pretty funny. All stuff that Lisa and I came up with on our own. So if it makes the cut it will be a pretty funny episode.
We have to make something out of this because it is our shot. The professionals who have seen it are raving about what we are doing and how it is coming along. But what hurts us is that it could be so much better. If they just let us do what got us a show in the first place.
Me and Lisa acting stupid.
19 comments:
Do the mannequin's tits has nice round dark nipples that are erect?
Trooper and his mannequin parts.
Titus they had leather mannequins with perfectly formed ball sacks and butts. You could poke a hole in it and have it around for when Kumar goes back to Delhi on vacation. Just sayn'
Unless they are completely clueless idiots, they will recognize your comedic genius sooner or later and see dollar signs, then things will start moving right along, this is what I predict.
Maybe they are beginning to trust you.
Trooper "Dahmer" York.
LOL, that's funny Nick. Can you imagine Dahmer taking a cab home with his dinner "guests"?
Objecting to a $100 delivery fee makes you cheap?! Boy am I out of date.
Are you the Trooper formerly known as "Prince". Don't let those gay boys tell you purple is your color.
Allie, Milwaukee cops let Dahmer take home one of his dinner guests, albeit on foot; which he later "ate w/ some fava beens and a nice Chianti."
Hey spinelli, I think the purple is cool, and takes guts to wear. Well, it would in my case. Troop has no such masculinity issues.
Nick, yes I remember hearing that, thank goodness it wasn't my brother he was with MPD , but was on the TAC squad at the time, he just retired as a Sargent.
Lookin' suave in mauve
Lookin' suave in mauve
You must really like mauve, Chickie.
Why, because I had to say it twice?
Why, because I had to say it twice?
Yes.
Yes.
You know, the real story here, right?
This is really "Mr. Deeds Goes To Town" but they're not filming it right.
This should be more meta: A film crew comes to town to do a reality show with a couple of local rubes who turn out to be smarter, funnier and more successful than they are.
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